13 March Wedding Guest Confirmation

Have you gotten replies back yet? Most will come in the mail on the deadline. You spend the few days after tallying info and getting in touch with anyone you have not heard from. You have no choice but reach out to anyone who has not rsvped yet

Keep it simple: " we're wondering if you are planning to attend our wedding on (date)". If they say yes, ask what their meal choices are, what names for placecards. If they say no, tell them they will be missed and hope to meet again with them soon.

People will tell you the truth.

If your RSVP deadline has passed, I would reach out to those who you haven't heard from just to say something along the lines of, "Hello! I just wanted to send a reminder that RSVPs for our wedding were due earlier this week, and we haven't heard from you yet! If you get a chance today, can you please submit your RSVP? We need to give a final count to our caterer, so please let us know either way by [date]. If we don't hear from you by then, we will not be able to include you in the final count."

View Quoted Comment Sounds good. Thank you

View Quoted Comment Got it. Thank you

Our wedding is March 20 (can't believe it) but people still have a week to RSVP. My plan is the day after our RSVP deadline (we are only doing online, therefore no one will be able to blame USPS :-) ) to call/message everyone who hasn't responded and ask them if they are planning to come or not and just tell them that we need to know. Of course that depends how long your guest list is and how many people haven't responded yet. But between the two of you that should be possible. I feel calling is the best option because then you get an answer right away. I would just say something like "I totally understand that sometimes things like RSVPs get forgotten. We just need a headcount for our caterer. We would love for you to come but understand that sometimes something makes that not possible." Or something like that.

My assumption is people who don't RSVP simply forgot to do so because they have a thousand other things on their mind. Or they just assume that we'll know that they are coming. I am not afraid of people declining - I know if they do they have a good reason to do so (prior committments that can't be rearranged, travel cost to high, health issues, covid)

View Quoted Comment Got it. The only worries I have is ppl saying yes I’ll come bc their afraid to say they won’t be able to come

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Do you have any reason to worry about this? Has this happened before with your family and friends?

To me this seems so unlikely but that's because I would never act like that and I don't think any of my friends would. We are usually honest with eachother.

Don't people know that that means you are paying for their meal and it will be wasted? To me just not showing up is way more rude and hurtful than letting you know beforehand. But you know your crowd. The only thing you can do is assure them that you won't be upset if they can't make it but you understand that circumstances or the pandemic might prevent them from coming.

But maybe don't assume that but instead assume they forgot to reply (in my opinion and with my friends more likely) and just ask clearly and politely. I understand this is difficult and it would be so much easier if everyone returned that RSVP card but I don't see another solution. If you don't remind people to RSVP/ask them you will either have food for way to many people and waste money or if you assume they don't come you might end up with a few surprise guests which also could get very stressful.

If you really don't want to ask you could ask others. E.g. "Mom, have you heard from aunt so and so if she is planning to come." "Friend, have our common friends mentioned anything to you if they plan on attending." But I think this is less than ideal. Just call and expect people to be mature enough that their Yes is a Yes and their No is a No.

View Quoted Comment Exactly. You hit it all. My family tend to say one thing but do another so it’s hard to accept their responses to certain things. But I am hoping that people understanding that we are paying for them to come out and enjoy this day with us. I just want honest responses but I know I can’t stress about it.

Great topic! Our deadline is coming up on 2/28 & still have some who haven’t answered!

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I am sorry. I hope it all works out and even more so that you have a wonderful day getting married!!! :-D :-D

I would send out a save the date and ask people to please RSVP as your vendors will need an exact head count. Hope it works out!

View Quoted Comment I hope so too. Thank you

View Quoted Comment Thank you. You do as well. March 20th is approaching fast too...🤗🤗

View Quoted Comment I don’t understand why people think this is not important to do...🤦🏾‍♀️

View Quoted Comment Yes! I’m a May bride preparing to order and send my invites and I’m very concerned about this very thing. Yes I am moving ahead with my wedding and it’s ok if you don’t feel comfortable attending. It’s not normal times. Just let me know lol 😂 I wish a voice recording of myself could go up on the website or the invites saying this

I put an FAQ on our website that basically says "it's fine if you can't come because you feel unsafe. We understand. Our feelings won't be hurt. No explanation is necessary" I completely agree that I would rather a regrets response than no response. I would just say "we need an answer today or we won't be able to guarantee a meal and seat for you. We understand these are difficult times, so if you are unable to attend, we won't be hurt and no explanation is necessary"

View Quoted Comment Exactly lol... I just want to say look, we paying for you to eat and drink free alcohol so it would be nice to be honest with us so we don’t waste money on you lol...