200 person guest list

I allowed my parents to invite people I didn't know/didn't NEED to be there because 1. My dad is paying and 2. As a sign of respect to his parents.

That's why you invite people you don't "need" there.

Some of the vendors are getting a little jaded and forget some things...

I invited 304. 184 are coming. I am thrilled - many not coming are his family I don't know, but he's not as happy.

IMHO, no couple has 200 guests they hope will come to the wedding. Nor should they invite them.

Yeah read above. My parents are paying for like 80 percent of the wedding and they said no cap on guest really so FH family invited a lot of people too. Like I said it's not because I don't like some of the people. It will just be overwhelming with that many people but if they all come then that's okay too.

I'm sorry if you feel I"m jaded m, but I can tell you that a wedding with 50 people who REALLY want to be there and REALLY mean something to the couple has a totally different feel than a wedding with 200 guests that sorta know the couple, sorta know the family and could be any place with free food.

A wedding is not a family reunion free for all; it's a milestone event that should be witnessed and celebrated by the people who are the closest to the couple; not dad's golf buddies or every person who "needs' to be invited to reciprocate for some event that a parent or one of the couple has been invited to. (Not the best sentence ever, sorry.....)

If you don't want people to come, don't invite them. If your family wants to invite everyone in the 10 mile radius and you don't want that, then decline the money and do what you want.

We invited 257...with about 30 or so "because etiquite says so" plus ones (not people in actual know relationships, people who we don't know if they have a SO). So while we are hopeful that the majority of our peeps come, we'd be thrilled if they came solo.

I don't get this either. But then again we are paying for every cent and have total control. It's also a vow renewal after 6 years of marriage and if I don't know you after being married this long then you don't belong at our celebration of marriage.

I never meant to imply that your parents shouldn't have their friends at your wedding. I'm a total advocate, even if I was paying for the entire wedding (and in my case, I only paid for my gown which was less than $200 back in the day, my invitations, and a hobbyist photographer). I wanted my parents to be able to show off a little. They loved and supported me for decades, and I knew they'd been to plenty of weddings and given generous gifts to the children of friends/co-workers.

m is absolutely in the same mindset I was in many years ago. Mom and Dad graciously offered to pay for everything -- from top shelf open bar to the live band to the prime rib (and while I can't recall how many people actually attended, I know that there were at least 15 tables and a head table of eight -- four no shows, and I can still remember their names to this day). I knew who I wanted to invite and they were totally on board with every friend I wanted there (with a plus one). If it made them happy to invite their friends or co-workers, it didn't bother me at all. When I walked down that aisle, my eyes landed on the familiar faces -- family and friends. Those folks I didn't really know? They gave me generous gifts and the room was full of people having a fantastic time. I had nothing to complain about. The day was magical, and during the receiving line, it didn't matter to me if I knew the person who said, "You are a vision" or not (because I knew they were sincere). It was just a day like no other in my life. I gave my parents the respect that was due to them and they gave me a gorgeous wedding (even by the standards of the 1980's).

Centerpiece always knows what to say. It's not the actual guest I am stressed about its the number of them. I get shy in big crowds but I guess on my wedding day maybe it will be different. I think if we do have that many guest I would like to to some sort of reviving line to insure we do get to speak to everyone and not have to worry about making sure we get the chance to say hello to everyone.

AG13, it will be different on your wedding day (unless you have a diagnosed anxiety disorder which causes some brides/grooms to have horrible reactions to the attention and crowds). If you don't have an anxiety disorder (and if you did, you would have eloped), you will be fine -- better than fine, actually. You'll feel a natural high. You will be wearing an exquisite, custom tailored gown made to fit your body -- and your body only. The bridal party is merely the prequel to the bride. Every eye will be on you, and every guest will be thinking, "God, she looks beautiful". The good news is that you are under no pressure to perform. All you have to do is walk an aisle and connect with someone you love more than life itself --and you get to do that looking better than you ever have in your life. It's a thrill you won't soon forget. Every bride with a BAM comes back saying, "It goes so fast -- take it all in". They say that because it's true. Your wedding day will be amazing, if it has 25 guests or 250 guests. You'll love it, and like me, you'll be smiling when you think about it three decades from now.

So glad I'm not alone. We invited 130 and hoping for a decline as well!'

AG13 we have the same wedding date!

I invited 210 and thought I wasn't going to get any declines. We pretty much hit the 20% mark that they say exactly so I wouldn't worry too much. I ended up with 160 adults and 10 kids!

FH has awful taste in friends. I hope some of them don't show up just because I dislike them.

I wanted a wedding of 40ish people. My mom and FMIL want bigger. They're contributing a lot, so I have to go with their invites. I just can't really afford to pay the amount they won't cover if 20 extra people accept.

I'm on the same boat, but careful what you wish for! We got a 40% decline rate, which sadly included many friends I wanted to have there but who couldn't afford to come. And several relatives of FH whom we don't like, are coming. I'm surprised by the "why invite people you don't like" comments. If FH invited only the cousins and uncles/aunts he liked, and shunned those he dislikes, his parents and he would have to deal with lots of bad family drama.

Yeah i am too. we ended up with 220 (all of our friends are married - instant plus ones - and we had a lot of "courtesy" invites and parents that we weren't willing to cut because both of our parents are helping to pay.) and since eh 200 of those are from out of town, it's really a toss up as to whether everyone shows up. People could be more likely to come because it's a holiday weekend...or vice versa.

and yeah @VC - if we chose not to invite people just because we didn't like them/know them well/whatever, it would cause more problems than if we didn't invite them. for the sake of our parents relationships with these people, we're just sucking it up.

We invited 215 or so. Out of those we had about 200 RSVP yes. We also had about a dozen crashers that came after dinner and (that I can think of) about 10 no shows.

If you're wanting a larger decline rate then you should have not invited that many people...I don't understand why couples stress out over the guest list only to hope and pray for a larger decline rate

Normally I wouldn't invite people if I didn't want them to attend, but FH's parents put us in a really tough position and put us way over what we were planning on and what would fit comfortably in the venues selected. Both of his parents have huge immediate families, but many of those people live out of state and most likely won't attend. It is more of a courtesy invite to avoid hurting feelings. I understand putting your foot down (especially because we are paying for our wedding on our own), but the whole situation was a mess. While our friends understand the situation we are in and are okay that we can't invite them due to the guest list being taken over by family members, it still bums me out that they may not be able to be there.

210 invited, was hoping for 125 but it'll be probably 110. I know it seems like a lot of people, but 60 were my immediate family members (aunts, uncles, and first cousins). We invited more than our ceremony space can hold because I knew most of those aunts/uncles/cousins weren't going to attend, but since my family is huge but very close to each other I couldn't pick and choose between my aunts. So, huge invite list it is! Also, I gave everyone and their mother a plus-one, and a lot of people aren't using it, which is fine. But I HATED not being offered one when travelling for a wedding, so everyone gets one.

It's not that I wouldn't love to see every single one of the 150 invited to our wedding....but I REALLY wanted a smaller wedding. It ended up the way it did because we both have a lot of family and it was important to FH to have the big wedding. We also didn't want to exclude kids or dates. I'm FINE if they all show up, but MAN would it be amazing and more comfortable (for our wallets and the venue) if about 50 (or 80) of them declined.

We invited 254 and we are hoping to be around 220ish. FMIL had 26 people on her "must have list" so that's why we are hoping for less. We wanted to be at about 230. I would have preferred a smaller wedding but we both have pretty big familys.