~30 minute gap between ceremony and cocktail hour

I think it's really weird if everyone is staying at the same place as both the ceremony and reception...why woudln't you just move up cocktail hour 30 minutes?

30 minutes is pretty typical if guests have to travel to a reception venue, but not if everything is in one place.

Push your ceremony back to 3:45. I live in New England and can tell you even if sunset is 4:15 it will not be pitch black at that point - if anything photos will be even better at sunset! This 15 minute buffer will allow some mingling over to cocktail hour and be much less awkward than a 30 minute gap. Also, I can almost guarantee no one will want to check into a hotel in between the ceremony and cocktail hour unless they are running super late and have no choice. This will give people more time to check in as well if check in isn’t until 3pm. It would be more ideal to give people a full hour between check in and ceremony time but if you can’t swing it, 45 minutes is certainly better than 30 - especially if you want people on time to the ceremony.

I think you are underestimating the inconvenience to your guests (outdoor ceremony in winter, long drive, hotel rooms may or may not be available after long drive, confusing gap). Destination weddings are fine of course, but I think it's extra important to think about guest comfort and accommodations if you are also asking them to travel really far and pay extra to attend. Lose the gap.

I don’t think it’ll be that big of a deal. Ask if you can have people wait in the reception area during the break, and that should make it flow nicer. I can’t imagine they would lock people out over that short amount of time. They can just not start serving food and alcohol until the appointed tome. I think most places automatically build in a buffet time and just don’t tell people about it. I wouldn’t bring up the bar, if people want a drink immediately after and before the reception, they’ll figure it out on their own.

Could you push the ceremony to 4? Then go directly to cocktail hour afterwards

Honestly 30 min isn’t that bad. People can go to the bathroom, take pictures and mingle. If I was a guest it wouldn’t bother me. I would just be worried about irresponsible guests who might disappear for longer

View Quoted Comment My only,concern with that is that if I was a guest and was running late, for whatever reason, I'd still check into the hotel first to freshen up and change into my clothes. I wouldn't wear something nice if I was stuck in a car for 5-6 hours. Is it possible to change the ceremony time?

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I was thinking the same thing as Renee. If we're driving 5-6 hours (not counting possible weather delays), I'm going to plan our trip so we arrive early enough to check in, clean-up, and dress for the wedding. If that means we have to come in the day before or stay somewhere else because we won't have access to a hotel room between the end of our 5 hour drive and the start of the wedding at 3:30, we're going to do that. I agree with others about having the ceremony start time later. You can always do first look, wedding party, and some family photos before the ceremony to take advantage of the light/scenery.

Daughter's wedding/cocktail hour/reception were all at the same location and one event just flowed to the next, for a total of 6.5 hours (5.5 hours of open bar, beginning at cocktail hour and ending about 30 minutes before the reception ended). With your current schedule, even 30 minutes of having people standing around would seem really odd to me (especially as it's starting to get dark, and is potentially cold [even though you didn't want comments about the weather]). Even though daughter & SIL did a ton of photos before the ceremony, there were still some extended family and more wedding party photos after the ceremony, while all the other guests were enjoying cocktail hour. So, they got plenty of photos, but guests were happily occupied.

View Quoted Comment It would be extremely rare to have it drop below the 35-45 degree range before 8 pm , that early in December. Could be warmer up to fifties, more likely forties. Not miserable, unless rainy. But people would go in fairly promptly. Instead of extending the bar, just as people come in you could provide them with a warm non-alcoholic cider or cocoa. After long drives, then outside, not many should have alcohol on a dead empty stomach. And it will feel better walking around the lobby, chatting. Is there going to be a coatroom and a guest book table right where they come in to wait? That takes time, shedding coats there, or up in rooms, combing hair, and coming back down. Provided there is a cup or mug of warm drink, to keep them out of the bar, 30 minutes is not a lot of time to kill.

Personally, I don't find 30 minutes too long. As a guest I would just use that time to relax, take pictures, and mingle with others.

I think my biggest question is what will you and your FH be doing in that 30 minute gap? Are you starting photos immediately? If so then a good portion of your people will be taking photos and it won't be a big deal and then they can join cocktail hour when it starts. If you guys aren't doing pictures after, then I think it will get confusing but ultimately guests will take your lead. If you must have the gap I would definitely see if you can get the reception and everything opened at least and start corralling people into that area. They can use that time to use the bathroom, sign the guest book, put cards/presents in designated area and so on.

I do agree with some previous posts though that wouldn't your guest want to be in the day before? I wouldn't sit in a car for 5-6 hours in wedding clothes and if my room wasn't available pretty much till after the ceremony I just think that would be more inconvenient than the 30 minute gap. If they come in the day before then they will know about the bar and everything. You could always do a welcome pamphlet that has the timeline of things so they see the gap laid out and they can decide from that point what they will be doing in that time period as well.

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We will be doing some photos yes! We were going to set up a photo booth in the reception/cocktail area and thought that was something people could do to kill time, possibly?

I think majority of our guests will be coming up a day or 2 early but there is a handful i know that will be coming the day of. I personally wouldn't plan that way if I was attending an out of town wedding, but guests are welcome to do whatever they want! So I was just trying to consider all people when asking the question! I do like the idea of a welcome pamphlet for sure!

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This was really helpful! I will call to ask about this. There is a coatroom and guestbook that will be in the main barn reception/cocktail area!

I would definitely move the ceremony to 4 because like you said guests might not be able to check in before the ceremony so this way they are guaranteed they can and freshen up in their room really quickly. It sucks that the sun will be setting but it could make for some really great ceremony photos.
idk if you’re doing a first look but if you are then you can do all wedding party photos before the ceremony too so you still have the sunlight.

View Quoted Comment There you go. Its something. I dont have a gap between but we will go from ceremony to pictures while everyone does cocktail hour and while we have an open bar I still plan on having cornhole, giant jenga, and giant yahtzee out for everyone. I mean honestly it is what it is. You cant do much about it so it seems so instead of stressing about the gap (that you obviously cant fix) I'd provide solutions such as the photo booth. A pamphlet that gives everyone a heads up about timeline including the gap and maybe suggestions on what they can do in the meantime. I think you'll be fine just dont stress

I've seen wedding do a big group picture with all guests. You could do this to kill a little bit of time and then do what a pp recommended and have a warm cider ready for everyone while y'all wrap up photos. This way nobody wanders off but they also have a drink in their hand and are able to mingle instead of awkwardly standing around. You could also do a seating chart that has all name cards pinned with their table number and instructs them to replace the card with a Polaroid (pictured below if I didn't explain this well). That will stall for a little while also.

I feel like 30 minutes is too short to do something like check into a room and too long to not be doing anything. Like PP say, some people who don't have anything to do may go to a tavern or do something that will take more than 30 minutes for them. And something may go wrong for people checking in. I know that if I had 30 minutes in between a ceremony and cocktail hour, I would be stressed out and not able to enjoy the ceremony. Then on the other hand, if you make it longer for people to check into hotel rooms, people who don't need to might think it's enough time to go to their hotel room to take a nap or something else and, again, miss out on stuff.

I would say either make the break an hour for people to check in and just have something for the other people to do, or come up with another plan for other people to check into their rooms. I personally would go with the second option, though.

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Oh my gosh I love this idea tooo!!!!! thank you for sharing

I like the idea of having warm cider preprepared for them to sip on after the ceremony during your gap.