So first a little bit of background... I am the product of my parents second marriage and my mom's only daughter. One of my older brothers eloped, the other had a tiny backyard wedding that my mom had no say in planning. So of course my getting married is a huge deal to her and even though she's not my bff, I do want her to be involved. My mom is the definition of a girly-girl. She loves shopping, always has her nails done, etc. We are very different.
My mom is also on a fixed income and she lives comfortably but doesn't have a lot left over at the end of the month, so I did not ask her to financially contribute to our wedding. She wants to pay for my dress, which I graciously accepted. She has said she wants to help pay for other things as well but hasn't committed a dollar amount nor am I relying on that. We are being pretty budget conscious as we are paying for most of this ourselves, but we've saved and financially we are in a place where we can afford to splurge a little.
So my problem: she has EXTREMELY unrealistic expectations of how much things cost and so far has had something to say about everything. First it was the time of year (October) - "you better switch to August or everyone will be wearing coats." October is usually mild in our area & the event is mostly indoors. She's also salty that we aren't getting married in the county she lives in (most family, including myself and FH, live in or south of the major city in our area, she's an hour north). We've already chosen a venue we love but she keeps suggesting different ones. She sees the venue fees on the websites and thinks that is the cost of the entire reception and can't understand why ours is so much more. She doesn't believe me when I tell her that's the cost for just the venue ("noo I don't think so!") and our venue fee is actually cheaper. I mentioned to her in an email (about the guest list) that the cost per head including food, alcohol, gratuity, and taxes is about $160. I was trying to explain why I can't invite every single cousin. She said that was "absolutely ridiculous" and "she's never heard of a wedding that cost that much" and that we should get out of the contract. She wants all the bells and whistles but somehow thinks we are going to get it all for less than $10k.
I know my mom and I'm not surprised she's acting like this (there's a reason why we aren't super close...), but we are one month into planning, with 12 more to go, and I'm already exhausted by her. Mind you... I was all about the court house wedding and was never thrilled to plan a wedding to begin with. I'm doing this for my FH who wants the big wedding.
Sorry, I guess this is mostly a rant. I appreciate any advice or words of encouragement!
