4 Date, Covid 2020, bride... Now what??

We legally married more than a year ago on our original date, but are having our wedding celebration this week. Our mini-elopement event was disappointing and anticlimactic, didn't feel very celebratory at all, and in many ways was a bit traumatic, even though there were some beautiful moments tucked in there. I feel like having an event as close to what we planned as we can is one of the only ways I'll feel closure. I'm excited about our upcoming celebration, but also pretty stressed, and honestly even though I'm looking forward to the event itself, I'm almost more looking forward to having it be over and actually feel finished.

We are pretty much doing the ceremony we hoped to have in the first place, although we are phrasing it so its past tense, updating/rewriting our vows, and will not be exchanging rings. The venue and all our vendors are the same, and the reception will be pretty much no different. We are having a smaller event, with fewer guests, a lot of VIPs missing, and very few people from my side, but it is what it is at this point. Dragging it out longer would feel like torture and I just am ready to move on with the next big chapter/events in our lives.

I had a small 20-person wedding due to COVID earlier this year, but we went all out (with the exception of the number of guests) and made sure we had a complete wedding experience, so we don't feel cheated. However, we still want to celebrate with your friends and family who did not attend the wedding, but we don't want another full blown wedding reception. So, we're planning a "watch party" around our first anniversary so we can share our wedding videos with everyone. It will be pretty low key with food (BBQ or seafood boil) and drinks and perhaps music and dancing, but nothing too over the top. Besides the wedding videos, the only thing I want that is wedding related is another wedding cake (just because I loved ours!).

You don't have to have a second wedding or formal reception if you don't want to -- having an unconventional celebration is just fine too!

I personally wouldn't do vows, but why not get all dolled up, just because? You could always do a cake cutting and a more "formal" dinner type thing as a celebration instead of a bbq lunch. Think, dinner party, with the idea to celebrate your new house and marriage. I bet some twinkle lights and a nice catering set up could be beautiful in your garden!

Here are some ideas that are popular right now for covid couples. I looked into all of these when we had to postpone and have friends doing a variety of different versions.

Full blown vow renewal or 1 year (or 2 years, whatever!) anniversary party - This can be a formal event like a wedding if you want the opportunity to get dressed up, take photos, and even have a bridal party if you want. It can be as big and fancy as you want and held at a more traditional venue, or you can do a more casual type of event. Basically, your original dream wedding, 2.0.

Reception only - Reception at a venue or restaurant or your house that has most of the parts of a traditional wedding reception (first dances, speeches, full meal, etc), but skipping the vow renewal part.

Smaller housewarming/celebration event. I think this will feel the least like a wedding event and might not give you the kind of closure and experience you want, but if it fits in your budget and works for you and your family, its totally fine too! You could call it an "I do BBQ" and make it fun!

TLDR; if you want to get dressed up and celebrate, do it! There are a lot of different ways including renewing your vows or just having a reception/party. I'm so sorry about all the postponing and I hope you find a way to celebrate!

Laura, I'm with you. Original Date April 2020, moved to September 2020, moved to April 2021, moved to September 2021. It's exhausting to type that btw. We got legally married in September because we wanted to get that out of the way. That wasn't my wedding it was a means to an end.

We planned our wedding, we contracted vendors and put down deposits. We were a month away from our wedding. We are having our wedding and I hope it's September.

DH is considering a traveling reception where we meet with different people from different areas of the country. We dress up and take pictures at each location. My dress wasn't the most formal so this is doable without looking absurd. I'd have to skip the veil. The trick is that allows us to meet with everyone, but not everyone to meet each other. Still, it's another fun idea! I had considered a Meet Me at St. Louis - reception, dinner, something - too. We live near there. I'm still thinking. Thoughts on these ideas? We wonder if people will want to travel for a housewarming or something casual. But, we also feel like a huge affair is over the top since this is a second marriage and we're already married too.

I'm a 4-date COVID bride too - our original date was literally the week COVID hit, we had to cancel 5 days out. I know exactly how you feel - it's been so long and drawn out that it doesn't even feel like a big deal anymore. And it's okay to feel that way! But if you want that special day, a day dedicated to you + your loved one, that's totally okay. Your loved ones will understand with all you've gone through. Don't let any of them give you grief. You've EARNED this day after everything you've gone through, Why don't you have a slightly less formal event some place that you like, like a restaurant? Get all your friends together, dressed up, you can wear a white dress, do the whole shindig but in a slightly less "wedding" format!

This is just my two cents on this however, if everyone has to come to you, I would discuss the concept of a weekend event with those you would be inviting. Keep in mind they will incur the cost of flights, rental car, hotel, etc. I wouldn't count on many guests attending, just being realistic, we are skipping many events like these simply due to the time off and financial obligations associated. I'm not trying to be negative, I just don't want you to be terribly let down if you don't get the responses you would like from those you wish to include. It's a difficult situation and sucks that 2020 and Covid took such a special experience away. Good luck in your planning, maybe plan a 5 year vow renewal/family reunion or something in the future.