4 day bachelorette party?!

That is crazy, but I also think destination parties are crazy. Mine was 2 hours at group painting place, after my shower. I was mare than happy with that. I think pre wedding events have gotten way out of hand over the years.

That's excessive to me. My sister just asked me the other day if I wanted to go out of town for my bachelorette party, and I said no. My friends have lives and responsibilities, be it work, school, children, etc., and I would feel guilty asking them to do all that for me.

If your friend insists on doing this, I would either say no or just go for a day.

4 days? Nope. Way too long.

I would go for one day and come home.

How far is the drive? I would stay over one night, maybe two at most.

These long trips seem to becoming more and more common. My sister was in a wedding were the bachelorette party was 5 days and an 8 hour drive! She was not happy about it but felt obligated to go.

Most of my friends' have been 1 or 2 nights, which I think is fine.

My sister who is planning my own bachelorette mentioned it'll probably be two days so people can come to whichever day works best for them. I'm not the kind of person who gets offended by people not being able to make it.

To be honest, I didn't even want a bachelorette party. I would have been fine with a night out at the theater or something. But FH is doing a 4 day bachelor party that requires a hotel room and a flight out of state so his sisters, who are in my bridal party, thought I should do something just as big and were really pushing for Disney World but when my sister told me, I kind of put an end to that plan as I think it's crazy to ask people to spend that much money and time to celebrate my wedding. My friends have jobs, husbands, kids, etc. and probably have better uses of their money.

It's perfectly acceptable for you to say you can't make the whole trip but will come for however long as you can. It's even appropriate for you to decline, I know a couple of my girls will be.

Not sure how understanding the bride is, but there's really no reason for her to have a problem with it. My FH is upset that not all his groomsmen can make his 4 day trip and that one has to back out after losing his job, but I told him that's a lot to expect of people and if he really wants the big trip out of state he'll have to accept that not everyone will come as a trade-off.

Maybe you shouldn't have accepted being a bridesmaid while being a bride. That sounds ludicrous to me! I would at least go for a full day, in support to her. I think you should speak to her about it. Don't forget she is a bride also going through a million ideas and thoughts. I'm sure she didn't intend on burdening you.

If you aren't able to go, just decline.

Yeah no... I'm planning on mine being one night. That's all I need.

Why is she doing her bachelorette party so soon before her wedding? I guess 3-4 months before isn't super early but all the ones I've been to have been a lot closer to the wedding.

That's ridiculous *if* she expects everyone to be there for the whole thing. Youre not a bad friend just because you have a life.

She is having it in August because her wedding is in November and she wants the weather to be nice. She has told me she doesn't expect me to go out to the bars with her, but she fully expects me to go to the beach all 3 days. I think it's probably at most a 3.5 hour drive. And I was her bridesmaid before I became a bride myself. I appreciate everyone's input. At most I will go to her party Friday-Sunday, or even Saturday-Sunday. I'll drive myself, I don't like being trapped and on other people's schedules if I ride with someone else. So I would definitely drive myself so I have the option to leave whenever I want lol. She ultimately has my best interest in mind, but I don't want to come across as rude or not involved in her wedding when she is actively involved in mine.

My bachelorette party was a beach weekend, a Friday night to Sunday morning. I think that's a good amount of time. Staying until Monday would have been overkill I think.

If it's within driving distance, I would go for 1 night only. A lot of extend bach events have people come and go throughout the weekend. My party was only 1 night and I still had friends join either for the beginning or ending only. Talk with the bride directly.

We did a weekend girls trip for a friend but the bride didn't plan it. Same set of girls want to do it again for mine (they are talking San Diego.... from Portland) but I think that's a bit excessive.

If I were you, I would be honest that you can't get away for that long but would love to join in on part of it.

I'm old as fuck, but I think the whole destination/multiple day/large dollar bacherlotte parties are ridiculous. At the very least, she should understand why you can't do this big a thing so close to your own wedding. And that's exactly what you tell her.

There is no way I'd spend four days with a bunch of people I don't know in a place I didn't pick with money I probably don't have. Paint parties, a night of bar hopping, a spa day even; now you're making sense. Sorta.

Thats definitely a lot. I would see what events they are planning, and if participate to the extent you are able. Or politely decline. You are participating in the wedding which is also $$$ and time. Everything else is extra.

Your liver and pancreas would be most appreciative if you don't attend.

^ wtf..

I'm going to be gone for 4days for mine. I didn't plan any of it, my bridesmaids consulted with each other. I actually didn't want it be that long, but I agreed because they were so excited. I definitely think they should have communicated with you.

4 days of drinking in Portland? A bit much.