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Lindsey
Dedicated October 2018

4 months before my wedding, and my father passed away yesterday...

Lindsey, on June 12, 2018 at 9:38 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 23
Good morning ladies,

Long story short my father had cirrhosis of the liver and was given 6 months to live back in march. He had addiction issues, but was doing better than the nurses had expected. Yesterday, he passed away suddenly... Where do I go from here? How did any of you ladies grieve and plan your wedding knowing a loved one you planned on being there, had suddenly passed? How was your wedding day experience?

23 Comments

Latest activity by intheforest, on June 23, 2018 at 3:49 PM
  • Carol
    Super April 2024
    Carol ·
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    First I am so sorry to here this. My heart really goes out to you. I do not have experience with this but I would say pause planning for a while and allow yourself to grieve. Don’t force yourself to move forward with planning because you feel you have to. Good luck and my deepest condolences go to you.
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  • Catjam
    Expert October 2018
    Catjam ·
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    First, I send deepest sympathies. Grieving takes time, but your wedding would be important to him also and would want you to enjoy... best of luck!
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  • Rachel Langerhans
    Expert October 2015
    Rachel Langerhans ·
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    Oh my goodness, I am so, so sorry for your loss, Lindsey Smiley cry Smiley heart


    I would just take a break from wedding planning for as many days as you can. Spend time with your loved ones, talking about your dad, celebrating his life, reminiscing about what you loved about him. Your wedding day will definitely be difficult, but try to think of it as a day he'll be looking down on you and celebrating this milestone. Some people like to have a memory chair, others frown upon that. Some people like to have photos of loves ones that aren't able to be there at a memorial table. Whatever you are comfortable doing, I would do; however, I would try to keep the focus on you and your significant other and as a celebration, rather than a somber memorial.


    ** Hugs to you! **

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  • Bride107
    Expert October 2018
    Bride107 ·
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    My condolences, thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

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  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
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    I'm so sorry about your father. Grief is real. You've just started the journey and must realize that it is a journey. You'll have good days and bad days. Never feel guilty for having the bad days. Likewise, never feel bad for having the good days.

    As for your wedding, your dad would want you to enjoy your day, wouldn't he? Plan with that in mind and don't feel bad planning a wonderful experience for yourself. I'm sure your wedding will be bittersweet. You could include dad with a charm on your bouquet with his photo. In a way, he would still be walking down the aisle with you. If you still want a first dance, do so with your mom, a brother, an uncle. The same with walking down the aisle - or walk down the aisle by yourself or even with your fiance.

    Lastly, talk about him with others. If you're feeling blue, talk it out with friends, family and your fiance. And remember it's OK to laugh when you or others tell funny stories about him. Laughing can actually be healing.

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  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
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    I don't have any advice, I just wanted to say I am so sorry.

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  • A
    Dedicated July 2018
    Adjoa ·
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    My condolences to you and your family.
    In 2016, 3 months after my FH asked for permission from my parents to marry me, my father passed suddenly. So we set our wedding date a year after his death (died June 2016, set wedding for August 2017).
    Last year I started wedding planning with my mum and in March, my mum died from a car accident. I ended up moving the date to this year, which is also over a year after her death.
    I just couldn't go on with the wedding in both cases. And mostly because I didn't want my wedding year to be the same year as my parents tragic death. My FH stood by me in both cases and the tragedy really made our love stronger. I realized how patient he was n I do appreciate him more.
    Ps: Do what feels best for you. If u can still have the strength to proceed do, if you don't have the strength, talk to your SO and come to a compromise . Goodluck and stay strong. I dont know if you believe in God but if you do, just pray and praise more often, that gave me strength
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  • T
    Expert September 2018
    Tia_Fred ·
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    I'm so sorry for ur loss. Also my dad died of cirrhosis of the liver as well he was a big drinker and it was so hard when he passed. I think he would want u to atill have ur wedding and get married but u still want to grieve as well.
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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    I am so sorry for your loss Smiley sad

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  • T
    Super December 2018
    T P ·
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    I am so deeply sorry for your loss. While I cannot begin to grasp the depth of what you must be feeling, I wish you peace and comfort. Few things in life can be more difficult than the loss of a parent. I have attended many ceremonies where the couple has honored a loved one through special recognition. I have seen these memorials delivered during either the ceremony and the reception events. I don't know at what point you will feel strength to continue moving forward with your plans, but your loved ones and your future husband will be there so you may support each other. I am certain that your father will be proud of you however you choose to grieve or press on with your planning, and would be happy for you at whatever point you celebrate the new chapter of your life with your husband. My condolences.
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  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
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    I don't have advice but I'm so deeply sorry this happened. I'm thinking of you.

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  • Tammy
    Super October 2018
    Tammy ·
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    I have no advice just wanted to say how sorry I am about your father. Do what you feel is best for you and what you need too. Smiley heart You're in my thoughts.

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  • Suzanne
    Devoted November 2018
    Suzanne ·
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    So sorry for your loss. Take time for yourself and grieve. You can pick up where you left off when it feels right to you.
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  • K
    Expert September 2018
    Kate ·
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    I'm really sorry. My father passed about 4 months ago suddenly and we also lost our son a month later. Our wedding is in 110 days. It's hard imagining our wedding day bc I feel like I'm going to be thinking about them all day and that it's just going to be emotional. But honestly, the wedding planning has given me a little bit of a distraction and it helps. So just taking it one day at a time over here.
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  • Heather
    Expert August 2018
    Heather ·
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    I am sorry for you loss. I lost my dad 16 years ago, so I understand the pain. Just remember, that your dad would want you to fully enjoy your day. Keep that in mind when the time comes around (((HUGS)))
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  • Raina
    Super October 2017
    Raina ·
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    I am so so sorry to hear this. I wish I knew how to give advice on this. I guess I would just give yourself a couple days to really process and heal. But I do agree with a previous poster your dad would want you to plan your wedding and it would also be a good distraction at times. You're in my thoughts!

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  • Lindsey
    Dedicated October 2018
    Lindsey ·
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    Thank you everyone. You're kind words and thoughts are greatly appreciated.
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  • Beginner September 2019
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    Good Morning T
    Both my parents are deceased,so I will honor them during the wedding and reception.Grieving is healthy,please take time and mourn for your loss your dad would want you to do so. Extending heartfelt condolences and prayers for you and your family. Hugs !!!
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  • Teresa
    Super September 2018
    Teresa ·
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    I'm so sorry, I'm experiencing a similar situation as my FSIL passed on Sunday. This community forum has been great but just take a moment to breath for yourself and then maybe focus on little things. As they say, take baby steps.

    You and your family are in my thoughts
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  • M
    Devoted July 2018
    Mrs. Terelo ·
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    I'm sorry for your loss.
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