400 Guest Wedding Planning

400 people?

that's a lot of people.

LindseyO - that is NOT true. I agree with Nonna T.

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@Nonna T, so then it's gift grabby on the parents' part. I get that weddings can have different cultural meanings, but that doesn't change what inviting 400 people means.

I think the Royal Palace staff can work all this out for you -- (presuming you are indeed marrying a royal prince, because WTF?) :-) I think it is sweet that you want to be so inclusive, but trust me - your wedding is far more important to YOU than it is to anyone else. You don't have to invite everyone you're friends with on Facebook.

AL, it's reciprocal, it's tradition and it's a party. If they can afford to host it properly, it certainly isn't gift grabby. You don't "make money" on a wedding.

It's not gift grabby as long as you're hosting properly. That means you pay for a seat for everyone, a full dinner, and alcohol all night for your guests.

If you want to have an intimate ceremony that's fine but everyone needs to be invited to the ENTIRE reception. You need enough food, drinks and seats for every person invited. If that is not possible with your budget you need to cut your guest list.

I have a big European family and yes, I see all 200+ of my side on a regular basis. I am only inviting 4 very close friends, the rest are family. That's not including his side. I had to figure out a venue where all 300 guests would fit for the ceremony and reception. LOTS of places could handle a big reception but maybe only 200 for the ceremony. My advice would be to find a venue that can handle both, or bigger church (or whatever it is) for the ceremony. Do serve dinner, but maybe you would prefer buffet instead of a seated formal dinner? That might work better for your more "social" idea. Good luck!

Didn't we already address this??

@KatieK I want to read her original post about it but it was flagged? whyyyy

@FME, I'm not sure why it ended up being hidden. (I'm one of those annoying users that read and leave comments, but doesn't always stick around to watch things unfold.)

You can absolutely have a private ceremony (and that means private; immediate family and less than 20) and then a party.

But there is no one on this planet who has 300-400 close friends, and tapas/appetizers for that many? That is a logistical nightmare and it will cost a fortune. And at 8:00, those people need to be fed a dinner amount of food, in whatever format you choose. You won't even be able to say hello to that many people; what's the point?

It's back to the drawing board for you, because this is a disaster waiting to happen.

I just had dinner last night with some friends who invited 350 people to their wedding, most of which was family. They were both Catholic and both the youngest of their families, so it is totally possible to invite this many people, have most be family, and not be doing it to be gift grabby.

I think you need it to start past 8:30 to justify not doing dinner. And also, really think if this is the best choice. I'm having around 180ish and am a bit nervous as to how I'm going to manage that, much less double that.

I don't even know more then 75 close people ( Friends and Family). Maybe I'm just sheltered?

I actually understand the big guest list. FH and I were looking at 350+ guests and that was mostly family and just a handful of friends. That was too much stress and way too much money for us so we dramatically cut it down to only 50 people - immediate family and their immediate family members (i.e. grandparents, parents' siblings, first cousins) only.

It's easy to want to invite everyone, but I promise you'll just burn out from all that stress! Decide on a budget, determine how many people you can properly host within that amount, keep the guest list at that number, and STICK TO IT (the budget & the list). Your guests will enjoy the party & proper hosting, you'll be able to enjoy your day without worrying about greeting all 400 people, and you'll save money that can go towards a honeymoon or whatever you want. Win win. And I've learned that most people will understand your decision to have a smaller wedding.

The Duggar wedding is back!

This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. If you can afford 300-400 people cool, but at least make it a wedding and not a party. Because what you're describing is a just a party. Choose a start time invite who you want to attend but don't separate attendees. If I were a guest at this kind of event, I'd be highly annoyed.

Inviting guests to dance and drink after dinner may break the rules of your contract as well as being rude as all get out.

I am doing something similar. I know what it is like to have a huge amount of people that you speak to regularly. Be ruthless when you go through your guest list. I went over mine with my family and was able to CUT my guest list to 300 people. That was just round one. There are people I adore but logistically my venue can't handle that many people, so I have to make some tough decisions. I've minimized it as much as I could, but some people are just going to have to deal. Here are some points to consider:

1. You will not save money. This is an expensive option. I am doing it because I like the format and I have the budget. If you think this is a good cost-cutting measure, you are very very wrong.

2. Hire experienced caterers and event staff. This is logistically complicated and needs the right staff to make it flow. Good planning and execution are key.

3. Have a chair for every butt! We are having regular round tables and cocktail tables, but there are chairs set-up everywhere so that EVERYONE can have a seat. In addition to this, we will have other seating options. No one will be standing unless they want to stand.

"People are just going to have to deal"?

What does that even mean?