400 Guest Wedding Planning

You can consider it to be a social event, but every single guest -- all 300 or 400 of them -- will consider it a wedding. You're trying to put a different name on it because you know, deep down, that what you're suggesting is wrong and rude. In fact, it's so rude that is has a name -- a tiered wedding. I'm asking you to think about it from a guest's perspective. The mere B-list invitation would cause me to cross you off of my Christmas card list.

The majority of guests will bring a gift, whether their invitation says 3:00 PM or 8:00 PM. Some of them won't realize what they're attending until they show up, and when they do realize, expect quite a few of them to walk right out the door -- with their gifts.

You're looking for hundreds of gifts (a majority of which will be in the form of cash), but your A listers will witness you ceremony, enjoy a cocktail hour, first dances, and a multi-course dinner. Once those dishes are cleared, the B-listers will arrive, gifts in hand, to have a few drinks and dance. Do you not see how rude that is? It's telling people that they just didn't make the cut, but you're offering them a consolation prize because they're bringing a gift -- and that is exactly the way they'll interpret what you're doing.

You pick the people whom you can properly host with alcohol, dinner, dessert, and entertainment. Everyone else? Leave them alone.

Tiered wedding receptions are bad etiquette! Everyone should be invited to the ceremony AND reception.

If FH invited our whole family, kids, close friends and gave everyone a plus 1 we'd have close to 350 people. But we'd still saving to host properly. So it's not that far fetched for people to have 300 to 400 guests I have 32 first cousins yes 32 on both sides.

That being said OP if you plan on having 300 400 guest have the ceremony in the same venue you plan to have the reception. As far as heavy apps have stations with different things. I went to a wedding with a pasta bar and different apps stations it was dinner time and very filling

@Celia

In my culture, not being invited to a wedding is very offensive. Whether you speak to them everyday or never speak to them at all, if they know who you are, you have to invite them. While I tried to be considerate and invite everyone I could, those that were eliminated will just have to deal with it. It's not even that they want to come or even care that I am getting married; they must be invited because we inhabit the same Earth. It's ridiculous, but it's reality in my world.

When you have larger events food by the pan i.e in bulk is a more cost effective way to feed larger groups.

300-400 ppl.....Have a cake and punch reception immediately after the ceremony. Get on the plane for the honeymoon same day. Or light reception with cake and punch and just Eat dinner with your immediate family.

It is possible to know and love 300-400 people. I have a very large family and so does my husband. When my family has Christmas breakfast together there are 80 people at breakfast...EIGHTY! For our wedding we are having multiple celebrations. We had an intimate ceremony on Nov 8 with just our parents and 6 other people. It was beautiful and perfect. Our March 4th (my hometown) and March 18th (his hometown) celebrations will include a community vow, food, drinks, and lots of dancing. We sent one invitation that had both celebrations, invited everyone to both, but encouraged guests to attend the celebration closest to them. It's a total of 350 guests between the two celebrations. Yes it's a bit overwhelming at times, but I love my family and my husband's family too much to not want to include them in our new beginning. And if you're wondering about the cost, we are both from small southern towns. We aren't spending over $10K combined, probably more like $8K.

Where's OP?

$8K for hosting 400 people at three different receptions? And $20 PP is all about love? Enough said.

Yes centerpiece. It's all about love and respect

I can't even. Because now we're talking fracas, not wedding. Why on the bloody planet would you invite people you DON'T EVEN TALK TO BUT THEY KNOW YOU? They don't even want to come nor do they care if you get married, but you're inviting them anyway?

And 8000.00 for 350 guests? Because you love them so much you don't care if you can even talk to them during the course of the celebrations?

Clearly, I live in a parallel universe. I went to the movies, came home and everything is upside down. You know, that world where you invite your close friends and family, treat them like royalty and actually spend time with them.

I attended a tiered reception. The marriage was between two people of different religions and cultures. The groom's family was very well known where he was from and his culture did not bat an eye at the size of the guest list. In total - the wedding was close to 450-500 people. To be honest, we did not mind being invited to either ceremony as the first ceremony started early in the morning and the remainder of the day was filled with processionals and traditions before the second ceremony. Being present for the reception was fine by us. The reception however, was a full buffet dinner/dessert/drinks reception which, IMO, is respectable.

Don't do it

also, if I was invited to a reception only or a ceremony only vs both, invitation would go in the trash. its rude.

Oh, do it.

Just do it right. WW right

I call bull OP

02/18/17 you posted this same thing, and it was flagged down.

This is either a troll post, or you're planning an impossible wedding.

If the answer is the latter of the two:

Don't do a tiered wedding.

End of story.

The point of the reception (at least in my understanding) is to thank your guests for attending your wedding and to celebrate you taking this huge step forward in your life. In most cases, everyone that's invited to the ceremony is invited to the reception and vice versa, and the most common exception to that is if it's an immediate family ONLY ceremony. If you truly wish to host this many people, that's great. But you should find a venue that can accommodate them for ceremony and reception both, and you should be hosting them properly. A full meal, booze and so forth. Just serving heavy appetizers and leaving them out the entire time is pretty crappy hosting IMO and it sends a message that you can spend money on a venue to host them all and on all the elements of your party, but you don't care enough about your guests to buy them proper meal. That comes across as attention grabby or gift grabby to me.

Oh goodie. This is back.

@Byrds - You are correct in saying that some cultures/religions have different traditions for wedding processions. However, OP had never stated that this applies to her. She blatantly said that she will invite friends to the reception only "who are there to drink and party anyways." And she's not providing an adequate meal at this time.

DONT DO THAT.... whoever is invited to the reception needs to be invited to the ceremony

Why would you want this?

That is a NO and so wrong on all levels.