5,000 budget on wedding

I never expected gifts from anyone, my wedding day was about sharing the day with people who would be happy for our union. Not about how many gifts I can receive. I expected to share my day with people who were happy for me and my FH not people who cared whether I had lobster or pasta for them.

I do apologize for my misconduct on everyone's proper etiquette.

But as I stated whether my family cooks I get Olive Garden to serve someone will definitely have something say whether it's **** out my pocket I can not please everyone.

I just hope I share my day with people who are actually happy for us, because from this post I can see how stressful it is to get it wrong for people who expect it a certain way.

@FB99 That's true. But who is to say what that the reception must look like? Certainly there is no regulation that says a reception must be catered? Friends and family can be thanked for coming with a professionally catered meal OR one that is homemade, or without a single morsel of food. For those that are concerned about their host's ability to provide a sanitary or safe meal, the solution is simple: don't eat. Or fill up on a second helping of the bakery prepared cake. Or, if too hungry to carry on with the evening, leave early and stop for food on the way home. But don't assume that the bride and groom don't care to host an enjoyable event, or express offense that things aren't done as you would prefer. Please also note that my original post was in response to Kierra, who did hire a caterer. Unfortunately her posts have since been removed, but Mermaid's response mocking her misspelling of the word "caterer" still remains, for reference.

I seriously cannot believe that you're suggesting for the hosts to say "fuck it, go though a drive though if you don't want aunt sally's potato salad. Oh, but leave that gift card here." My mind cannot comprehend treating family and friends that way.

@Kate

I don't recall saying I did.

I don't recall saying I did.

I don't recall saying I did.

However, I did acknowledge that for some, this might be an appealing avenue. In my opinion, these individuals shouldn't be shunned. For all we know, their friends and family are honored to volunteer their services, in the same way that a photographer or dress designer friend might. According to WW posters, hiring a "friendor" is acceptable if a contract is provided. Shouldn't the same logic hold true for the food? Also, I feel it significant to note that food borne illness is not limited to meals prepared by family members. Restaurant meals, catered items, and prepackaged foods are also possible culprits. For anyone who has retained a professional caterer, why is food poisoning not still a valid concern?

No@ MMB I didn't

the caterer was hired first my family thought he was too high so they offered to take care of the cooking for me, because I could get more of a variety of food for the amount I'm paying for just a pasta. I have yet to decided whether he will cook or my family but either way I am prepared to pay 500-650.

I'm just gonna leave this here.

@MMB It's probably difficult for you to believe because I didn't say that. My mind can't comprehend telling loved ones to "Fuck it" and leave a gift card on the way out either! I can't imagine behaving in such a manner. In fact, you'll probably remember that the entire point of my original post was about gratitude. The quote that you incorrectly attributed to me is quite contrary to that.

Just reiterating that you can't host 100 people PROPERLY on a 5k budget. not in LI and not in bumblefuck, anywhere USA

@Kate I'm not sure. Neither of us can speak for everyone's Aunt Sally. I'm sure there are plenty of people with aunts who are pro chefs.

Sabrina, food is different. People will be putting it into their bodies. It must be properly handled by professionals. And I know you didn't say "fuck it." But that is definitely how it will come off to your guests when you make them cook food for everyone.

And Kierra that's not what you said earlier, but cool. I would urge you to go ahead and go with the caterer if you haven't made up your mind yet.

I'm trying to play catch up here but unfortunately Kierra hid pretty much all of her comments. OP disappeared. Here's my take: OP, Sabrina and Kierra are all the same person trolling like a mofo.

If you are a member of a church consider having the ceremony and reception there. You'd be surprised at how beautifully you can decorate a space and change it completely. This way you could put the budget towards a nice caterer and decorating the reception space. Or consider doing the ceremony outdoors late in the evening at a green space, like a park or garden. Then have the reception at another location. All you need for the ceremony is chair rentals and minimal decor.

@sabrina I appreciate your gesture. I honestly haven't been to wedding down here where families haven't cooked it's common. What I got a lot from this conversation is people will do their wedding how they chose. I always thought a wedding was about sharing it with people who are happy for you but I see people see so much more(gifts food decoration alcohol) but I have took everything said into consideration.

@Katy Welcome! Yes, since a lot of the original posts have been removed, you may have missed out on some of the context. However I can confirm that @Kierra and I are different people. I can't speak for her, but I assure you I am not "trolling like a mofo". I'm simply a person who opted to post a comment in defense of someone else. Just trying to bring a bit of that community support that should exist amongst a group of peers!

Kierra, but I thought you said that you didn't care what your guests want because it's your wedding? Oh wait, you hid that comment too.

Have a blessed day everyone. Lol.

I deleted them, because I'm being criticized and I have no idea who Sabrina is. Regardless of the fact you guys are miles away the way either of us do our wedding should be the least of your concern but encouraging a bride who feels like she can't have her day that's important to me no matter how she does it.

@Kierra Definitely...a wedding should be personal and it's beautiful when someone's celebration reflects that! I think you're looking at it in the best way -- celebrate your love and then anything you provide on top of inviting others to witness your union is a bonus that I'm sure your guests will appreciate! I know I would, and I hope that the folks on my own guest list do too. Happy planning!

All I want for my reception, is for everyone to be able to relax and have a good time. They've been kind enough to join us for our wedding ceremony, and the least we can do is offer them a professionally cooked meal and some drinks.

ETA: I cut back on things like decor to ensure I could afford to do this well within my budget.

To me my wedding day is about the bride and groom to you it's about your guest and making them happy. Being surrounded by people who are happy for me is what I care about not that guest who criticizes money I spent out my pocket to satisfy them. But like I said everyone has their own opinions just like some people take time out their day to speak negativity and some people take time out their day to speak positivity. Do your wedding your way and I hope you and your guest have the best day of their lives

@RaeGin I'm with you there. The first thing I booked after the venue was the caterer because I'd rather pay for booze and food than decor.