a good friend of mine is getting married the day before me.

I agree that it’s an odd choice to make. My guess is she has some internal competitiveness or weird desire to be first - certainly that’s a very fast journey from starting dating to getting married!

I think the best thing for you to do is let it go. Unless her choice has a direct impact on your day (other than you not being at each other’s weddings), it will only matter if you let it. Do your wedding, let her do hers, and then see how the friendship goes in the future.

I agree with pp. Help her as you much as you can, if you can and just focus on your day and your happiness. Both events are already in motion and all you can do is be a good friend even if you feel like she isn’t. As long as she is respectful of your time and your relationship there isn’t much more you can do. Don’t let this overshadow such a joyful time in your life.

I agree that it’s definitely odd to choose the date before yours, but what can you really do? Help her as much as you can, but don’t sacrifice focusing on your day or your joy to do so.

I would be upset/angry too - there are 104 weekend days she could have possibly chosen from, why are they rushing it as its only like 3 months away? Was she supposed to be standing up to your wedding or are you not doing wedding parties?

I somewhat disagree with other posters. This is weird and rude to me. I would be livid.

You already have to work around so much to keep that sparkle of being a bride - sharing event times, working around other bride's and mom-to-be's with their showers and events, this was just too much. I would not only be extremely upset, but I couldn't see myself helping much. But like others said, what can you do

It’s definitely inconvenient, but I’d try to believe her when she tells you why she chose the date. Timelines for dating/marriage are different for everyone. Again, definitely not a great choice on her end but at this point it would kind of make you look like the bad guy to make a bigger deal of it.

Lol so yes you’re going to get tons of people on here that say “you only get one day “and well that is true… You mean to tell me that the onnllyyy day they are able to have their wedding on is the day before yours because they can’t take time out of work? Did they just decide to pick one of their standard days off? Typically people take the full week out of work for their weddings. You are going to be so crazy busy the day before and the day after your wedding, you definitely won’t have any time to get your kids ready for another wedding. And yes while she can pick any day that she wants, I personally cannot imagine picking my wedding day, the day before one of my closest friends is getting married.I’m assuming you guys are pretty close seeing as how she asked for your kids to be in her wedding. Is she going through a hard time or something?

Since there doesn’t seem to be a very compelling reason for why she chose that date, I would be upset too. I mean, if her spouse was getting deployed or there was some other unavoidable conflict that led to that choice, then I would be disappointed, but understanding. But choosing a date one day before your close friend’s wedding simply because you won’t have to miss work sounds like a pretty weak reason. People miss work for their weddings. Is there any chance she is pregnant and wanting to get married before she starts to show? That could explain why she suddenly bumped the date up from November to July.

I am a firm believer that you omly get one day, so I don't think you should be angry. I also don't think you should attend the wedding because you have your own wedding to be getting ready for.

It’s hard to know what goes on in anyone’s life - you say she’s been a decent person up till now, so this is totally out of the blue. That would make me wonder what is going on. Even just in a “you’ve known him for 6 months and you pick this day, that’s odd?”

View Quoted Comment I’m not doing a wedding party, just my sister and his brother might stand up there with us. I have no idea why they are rushing it. It all seems way to fast to me.

View Quoted Comment As far as I know she isn’t pregnant but that did cross my mind.

Iknow your title says close friend but really how close of a friend is she? Even though she asked you to be IN the wedding, the fact she picked the day before means you may not even be able to attend her wedding, if I was a close friend then I would want you there. Im a very thoughtful person, If one of my really close friends were getting married I would keep her date in mind and try my best to give some space in between weddings. If for some reason I was in a rush I would still try to space it out. Not the day before! I know not everyone is as thoughtful and considerate as I am but maybe shes not as close of a friend as you thought.

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It for sure is quick, honestly just worry about yourself and apologize that you can't be there - send her a card in the mail for congrats

View Quoted Comment No she isn’t going through a hard time, I think her brain has just fallen out of her a**.

View Quoted Comment I mean I have been friends with her for almost 15 years. We have not always hung out on a regular basis but we have always kept in contact. Since this has started I have been questioning how “close” we really are myself.

View Quoted Comment 😂 apparently so

Thanks for all the advice, I’m still pretty livid but I’m trying not to be a b**** cause her day should be special for her.

View Quoted Comment I have friends like that, we have been friends since high school, we dont talk all the time but always pickup where we left off but still consider them to be a close friend. Two of them I asked to be a BM because I really only have 2 friends I talk to on a regular basis and FH has tons. I was worried I wouldn’t have enough ppl in my bridal party. So all 4 bms said yes. One of these girls that I considered to be a close friend didnt show up to any of my bridal events other than the dress fitting. And even 1week before the dress fitting (which I made the appt 1month in advance), she almost didn’t make it because she was going to attend a family get together instead, but changed her mind and ended up coming to the fitting.


I wasnt a bridezilla. My only expectations were to show up to my few events and buy their dress & be in the wedding. She didn’t come to our small engagement celebration, fine, or to my bridal shower. Fine. But then she dropped the ball. She didn’t buy her dress on time when she said she did, even after constant reminders of the deadline in order for the dress to arrive on time (approx 4-6mo to receive the dress in the mail). She waited until 2mo before the wedding to tell me she originally didn’t have the money to order it and now even if she expedited the order, it wouldn’t arrive until 4mo after the wedding date. 😐. Well. I looked for other possible dresses she could wear that would match the other girls. Then I decided no. Im putting in all the effort and all she had to do was order the dress on time or tell me At the time she couldn’t afford it, which I would have loaned her the money. Its not fair for her to stand out by wearing a diff dress just because she didn’t do the #1 most important thing to be a part of my wedding. Since it wasn’t going to arrive on time She canceled her order. Our date got postponed twice. She never asked me about reordering since we got postponed, and I never mentioned it either. I have talked to her only a handful of times. Now davids bridal doesn’t even make the dress in our color anymore. So the whole pt of me telling u this is that we weren’t as “close” as I thought. Not to say your friend is showing her true colors right now, but its really not appreciated that she didn’t take you or your wedding date into consideration.

View Quoted Comment Wow! Do you still keep in contact with her?
I told her so this wouldn’t happen and it happened anyway, I’m just feeling a little disrespected like because my wedding is more intimate it is less significant to her.