a good friend of mine is getting married the day before me.

I do want to say something - your feelings are hurt because you are human, and vulnerable and prenups have so much fraught energy around them, and you felt blindsided. He is still dealing with mess from his ex and that’s heavy and thinking of that. Though to be honest, if they married young and neither had any assets, a prenup may not have helped them. My ex and I were young and broke and married 20 years and boy that was a mess to work out. I have a TON of baggage from that!
None of us are 100% logical.
Your feelings are real and valid. And as crazy as it sounds, if you guys talk deeply and with vulnerability and honesty about this, you can grow even closer. Even you being open about this hurt - and seeing how he handles that, will be something important.

Yes! We still keep in contact. Its always a hey how ya been or happy holidays. But we haven’t talked about the wedding. Of course shes still invited but I was really disappointed in her lack of communication and priorities as far as her BM duties. I would feel exactly how you feel as well.

I am so sorry. This situation is just horrible and your friend is so inconsiderate. I would decline to be in her wedding and let her know you will not be able to attend either because your own wedding is the next day.

Oh boy my comment up there was for a TOTALLY different question, oops!!!

Considering they are smallish weddings close together, this will not mean that those who want to cannot do both. So what is your problem?

You may not be aware of it, but some of your guests, or hers, may go to 2 weddings on consecutive days in a busy month, 2-3 times a year. So what difference if someone is going to hers and yours, or yours and their uncle bill's, of hers Friday, Yours Saturday, and and a 3rd wedding or a shower or christening on Sunday?
People do. Multiple events the some weekend is common. So why not her and you.

View Quoted Comment I never said hers was small. Even a small wedding is very time consuming especially the week leading up to the wedding.

View Quoted Comment I just still don't see why it matters. How is she inbolved in or affecting your wedding?

I totally understand you being upset here. My husband and I had a minimony last summer and postponed our actual wedding to this August due to covid. We have also been together longer than my friend and her fiancé who I found out booked a date exactly 1 week before ours. In our case it was unknowingly on their end. I only found out because I checked in with her to confirm that our date didn't overlap with their possible wedding plans, as I did with my other friends who are getting married this year, only to find out that their wedding is going to be exactly one week before ours. I was a little uneasy at first about how close the dates were, but now at this point with everything going on (pandemic planning/ life/etc.) I can only put the time, energy, and love into my wedding and the beautiful day that it will be for my family! In your case, it wasn't right but I'd wish her the best and focus on your special day. You may not be able to attend each other's weddings with dates so close but If you are truly meant to be friends, you will reconcile at some point.

P.s. - This is coming from someone who's been married for a year (still very new, but semi-experienced) and has already seen how marriage will test many of the close relationships in your life, whether it's a conflicting wedding date or something else down the line (AND IT WILL HAPPEN, Trust me lol). It's an emotional time of transition for everyone and unfortunately we can't control anyone else's actions. As long as you're operating with integrity and keeping your future spouse/what's important as your priority, things will work out how they should. :-)

View Quoted Comment Could it be that she looked at her guest list, and decided only 6-8 people
would likely be invited to both of your weddings, where on an open date the month before, It would be the same weekend though different days of a close cousin, where 50 would have overlapped, or someone on her fiance's side a month later where 50 overlapped, and your wedding had the fewest guests going to both? 🤭
And I do not know about you, but having chosen a 4 month time we wanted to marry in, that cut us down to 5 weekends total. At the time I was having days of cramping and unhappiness and water gain around every period. And I wanted at least 7 days from the end of bleeding for prewedding things, and 2 weeks from wedding to the beginning of next months period symptoms to travel with my new hubby. And that left 5 dates in 4 months, one Labor day with a family wedding, and 1 family wedding each side of the single open date. People asked why we chose 2 weeks from one wedding, and 3 before another. But after we blo kef out periods for the best week before and 2 weeks after, as everyone I know does if they can, we had 2 weekends of days in 5 months, aside from Labor DY, Christmas, and 2 weddings , that were not occupied by an already scheduled wedding. Likely there were events in her family and his that she had to work around. Then period or health concerns . Then venues. No intention to be disrespectful at all.