Accepting gifts

View Quoted Comment I just don't agree. I don't see how it's rude because you aren't specifying amounts of money people should give. It really is no different. People don't have to give you anything, but if they choose to, then an amount of money of their choosing to help start your life together is fine.

View Quoted Comment It is cultural to give money from our family. For our guest who do not know our culture, they would be the ones to bring gifts. We had a housewarming last year and registered, and got some great gifts. Money shots: (Cambodian) guest give you money and you give them a shot of liquor. It's a form of wishing happiness and blessings to the couple.

View Quoted Comment Said the owner of the truth! And being rude there is bad but here is acceptable.... to your face? Really?
Have a happy life! 😘

On a side note, for my brother's wedding he and his wife didn't do a registry. They did the typical wording of how our presence was more than enough, but if we wanted to make a monetary donation it would be greatly appreciated as they were trying to buy a house. As his little sister and as a guest, that put me off because I was like "Well damn, how is any kind of monetary gift on my part going to really help them buy a house?"
OP, I think your wording is good as it doesn't make any kind of implication of the amount of money you'd want. Like you side, just their presence is wanted and anything else is appreciated

View Quoted Comment Jesus Christ she said it was part of her culture....her FAMILY'S culture. I doubt her family would find it rude, and everyone else will accept it as part of Cambodian culture.

View Quoted Comment 😂😂😂😂 money shot.....guess has several meanings.

I don’t see a problem with your quote from your site.

It’s not technically etiquette to ask for money, but you know your guests, and this is a new kind of culture.

I think whats rude about straight up asking for money is that it says “we don’t trust you to pick out a nice enough gift, so just give us the money and we’ll buy it ourselves” and/or “we don’t want to be inconvenienced with making returns to big box stores when we return from our honeymoon, so just give us money”

I’m not saying that’s your attitude, but your asking for money has potential to come across that way.

In in regards to your original question- I would not reject a gift- it’s nice that people want to celebrate you and FH! Send a thank you and decide what to do with the gift from there.

View Quoted Comment

A registry is NOT asking for gifts.

A registry exists solely to ensure that your guests don't buy two of the same thing. When you're just starting out, you don't need two toasters. A registry ensures that guests see what has already been gifted, so they don't get you the same thing.

If people want to give you cash, they will whether you have a registry or not. If they want to bring a gift, you'll either get something you know you want, or something they decide that you want, if you don't register.

You DON'T REGISTER FOR MONEY because there's no need to (and it's rude). Multiple people can give you money, and it's all the better.

Get 5 toasters, that's a different story.

In regard to your question, OP, you can accept the gifts if you'd like. If someone gives you a gift and wants it back because they aren't invited to the wedding, they're in the wrong.

If you don't want the gift, you don't have to accept, either, but that may end with hurt feelings.

View Quoted Comment I agree, I think there's nothing wrong with it. I've noticed some of the Feedback here is... judgemental instead of helpful. SOME not all.

View Quoted Comment To me, it says wet don't need anything in particular except to plan our future. If money is what they need most I don't see anything wrong with that, especially since money is a very common wedding gift..

I had so many coworkers and family who were not invited who gave me gifts. I just sent a thank you card and excepted the gift.

View Quoted Comment I am totally in agreement with you! Just today i read someone asking about a garter. Most comments were how trends have changed and today this is outdated. Yet, many think asking for money is still unacceptable. For me, money is a gift as is the money used to buy those things people can't use or want. Girl it's your day, do it your way!

View Quoted Comment While I understand your point, I don't agree. A registry is a wishlist of items that you want, if a person decides to give you a gift. You are asking for those items. I don't think it's rude to ask for money in lieu of physical items. Some people who were looking to give gifts may decide to give cash instead because of the OP's poem. If there's a method to give cash on-line even better. (A friend had half her cards stolen out of the box at her wedding). I think it's open and honest and no big deal to state what is "supposedly" universally understood. If you were already going to give cash, then seeing the OP's poem should be NO BIG DEAL BECAUSE YOU WERE GOING TO DO THAT ANYWAY. That's like someone wanted to give someone a toaster, then sees a toaster on the registry and says, "how dare she ask for this toaster! The nerve, she's only getting a fork now." It's ridiculous. I think times have changed and people who are up in arms about folks asking for money need to take a deep breath and let go.

*accepted not expected the gift. Stupid auto correct!

I don't mind honeymoon registries but I hate it when people ask for "donations". You are not a charity.

We'll see what happens on Saturday at ours. Then again, we are a different couple than most here on WW - 2nd marriage for both of us, both kept separate households for >20 years, children grown and gone. We are moving to a new (to us) house 45 days after the wedding, and literally have NO idea how we are going to furnish it, as we're going from 2 BR to 4, and 2.5 Bathrooms to 3.5. I got blasted for merely "suggesting" here that we had a charity registry. Oh, the horrors that we would deign to suggest that our friends and family donate to a cause we (and most likely them, too) are passionate about as a "wedding gift" to us! Really, and truly, all we really want is their presence at our event. We KNOW it cost them a lot in time and money (airfare/gas/hotel, etc) to be there, and anything above that is truly, TRULY not necessary. However, we will accept graciously whatever cards/envelopes/gifts we receive.

We are having a destination wedding, so it will be expensive for the attendees. On our website's registry tab, we simply stated: "Your presence is much preferred to presents, so we are opting to forego a registry." Period. If someone wants to bring a gift or give money (invited or not), we will sincerely thank them. Simple.