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Just Said Yes January 2022

Accidentally left my mom out of bridesmaid dress shopping

Isabella, on July 8, 2021 at 6:53 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9
So i feel like a terrible person - tonight I had a bridesmaid appointment with a store via zoom because some of my bridesmaids are abroad. Two of my bridesmaids are young teens, so I went to their house to attend the zoom appointment with them. Their mother joined in as they are still young enough to need her input about sizes etc. My mother in law to be was also on the call as two of my bridesmaids are my fiances sisters (both adults but she was in the same house as one of them). It was only after I realised perhaps I should have asked my mother to join the zoom call, I didnt really think about it before as of course my mom was with me when I picked out my wedding dress (as was my mother in law for the record). I felt terrible after and rang her to tell her we picked the dresses, and I was striaght up with her and apologised right away and told her I'd never leave her out of wedding stuff intentionally and that I was so sorry if I offended her. She was a bit hurt and felt left out but she said it was ok and she knows I didnt do it on purpose. Has anyone else had a situation like this? I honestly feel so stressed out I'm at my wits end thinking ive hurt my moms feelings, I want to make it up to her properly but I dont know how.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Cool, on July 9, 2021 at 10:02 AM
  • Amanda
    Devoted May 2022
    Amanda ·
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    It sounds like an honest mistake, and I’m sure she understands. You could make an effort to ask her opinions more often and include her in future planning. Cake tasting, diy projects, suit try-ons would be easy ways to have her involved. I know I’ve made an effort to call my mom weekly with planning updates since she’s in another state and I can tell she appreciates it.
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  • mrswinteriscoming
    VIP December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    It's really nice that you're including your mom in the wedding planning but it doesn't mean that you need to ensure she is in attendance at every appointment, or aware of every single detail, unless that's what you both want.

    It sounds like including your mum in the zoom call was an honest mistake that I wouldn't dwell on too much if I were you. You've already spoken to her about this and apologised to her - don't make yourself feel guilty over something that was an innocent oversight.

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  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    I don't think there is really anything to worry about here. We did dresses from Azazie...I showed my mom the swatches, but she wasn't involved in picking the dresses at all. I wasn't that involved either once people had their colors...everyone ordered on their own. I think you're fine!
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I’ve never been in a wedding where the mom was present for a bridesmaids appointment, except my first wedding but that’s because my sister was my MOH but only 19 and so my mom was paying for her dress.
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  • Natalie
    Super November 2020
    Natalie ·
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    Truthfully, I don’t think this was something your mom needed to be included in. While it is wonderful that you are so willing to include her in the planning process, and she is so willing to participate, sometimes too many opinions can complicate things. Because all the bridesmaids and MIL were on this Zoom call, this likely would have been one of those times.
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  • Molly
    Expert August 2021
    Molly ·
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    I would never think of included my mom in bridesmaid dress shopping. My sister is one of the bridesmaids and my mom coming never crossed any of our minds. It's a little off to me that your mom feels hurt. I think it's great you want to include your mom but, too many opinions can make everything frustrating especially when wedding planning is concerned.

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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    You’re overthinking. Absolutely no reason a mom needs to be involved in that. Honestly if you hadn’t called to apologize, she probably may not have cared at all. Not everyone needs to be involved in everything— don’t sweat it !!!
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    Also regarding your last sentence, there’s nothing more to do. You have apologized, that’s really the best and only thing to do here. Now the only thing is to move on. The more you stress it, the bigger deal it becomes, and there’s no reason for that !
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  • C
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    There’s no reason your mom should or has to be involved in bridesmaid dress shopping. She said she was okay with it. Let it go.
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