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Dedicated September 2019

Accommodations for Bridal Party

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Aubrey, on March 26, 2019 at 12:03 PM

Hey Guys! I just booked where my bridesmaids and I will be staying the night before the wedding. It isn’t crazy expensive but I am on a tight budget.

One bridesmaid told me in advance I am expected to pay for the entire cost. My mom said she had never heard of this and in all the weddings she had been in, when people traveled they paid their own way. Note: my wedding is about 2 hours for most of my bridesmaids, so no one is paying to fly or anything like that.

I shared the news with my bridesmaids that I booked the place in a group chat and one bridesmaid said “let me know how much we owe you”.

It would come to $33 per bridesmaid. Is it unreasonable to ask people to pay this for their accommodations the night before?

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59 Comments

Super May 2019
Kiki · on March 26, 2019 at 12:24 PM
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I would wake up at 4am if it meant I didn't have to sleep in a hotel bed so I wouldn't assume anything about your BP.
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Devoted August 2019
Madison · on March 26, 2019 at 12:24 PM
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Wait, nobody's significant other/spouse is invited to the wedding?
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Dedicated September 2019
Aubrey · on March 26, 2019 at 12:26 PM
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That seems like overly critical feedback but okay... sorry you don’t agree with my wedding.
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Dedicated September 2019
Aubrey · on March 26, 2019 at 12:28 PM
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I don’t know the families of my wedding party except one, and only one girl is in a serious relationship. My entire wedding is 30 people. There is an optional BBQ peoplecan attend with the rest of our families 2 weeks later and people can bring a friend or partner to that
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Dedicated September 2019
Aubrey · on March 26, 2019 at 12:30 PM
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Okay i will make sure to give them an
option
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Dedicated September 2019
Aubrey · on March 26, 2019 at 12:31 PM
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None of them are married and only one person is in a serious relationship. Not even our aunts and uncles are coming to the ceremony. We are doing a receptionwiththerest of our family 2 weeks later and if they chose to attend that they can bring a partner or friend
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Devoted August 2019
Madison · on March 26, 2019 at 12:32 PM
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Are you hosting a reception after the ceremony? If you are, I still think it's a little insensitive not to invite people's families. If you don't know them, I would make an effort to by September if that's your reasoning to not invite them.
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Master June 2019
Danielle · on March 26, 2019 at 12:35 PM
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If you are making them stay at a certain place, then yes you foot the bill. Otherwise, you can let them handle their own accommodations for where they want to stay the night before.
However, you can simply ASK them if they'd be willing to pitch in, but DON'T require it.
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Dedicated September 2019
Aubrey · on March 26, 2019 at 12:36 PM
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The reception is 2 weeks after the ceremony. People can bring partners or friends to that. I have known these girls my whole adult life and have never met their parents. Most of their parents live out of state and probably don’t know who I am and don’t care that I’m getting married. If a friend raised a concern that their mom wanted to come to the reception BBQ that would be fine, but ultimately this post is just for the 30 person ceremony and accommodations for the bridal party for that
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Dedicated September 2019
Aubrey · on March 26, 2019 at 12:38 PM
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I understand many of you seem to have a lot of feelings about the size of my ceremony and that people are not bringing significant others. None of my bridal party nor my FH’s party has a problem with this. Everyone is fine with that decision.
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Dedicated September 2019
Aubrey · on March 26, 2019 at 12:40 PM
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That’s a great idea!! Just that slight change in wording will definitely make a big difference!
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Master October 2019
Meghan · on March 26, 2019 at 12:43 PM
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You are in no way required to pay for your bridesmaids lodging! When they said "yes" to being your bridesmaid they knew they would have to pay for things like this. If they are offering to pay, then let them! If one of them have a seriously issue with chipping in, then that can be discussed between the 2 of you. My bridal party has decided to all get a house together and split the cost and no one complained or had any issues with that.
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Dedicated September 2019
Aubrey · on March 26, 2019 at 12:45 PM
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Okay awesome! Yes, this is a house we are splitting and it was incredibly cheap and super pretty. Yes, if someone can not pay then I would definitely work to cover them because them being part of my big day is important to me!
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Super September 2019
ASMini914 · on March 26, 2019 at 12:48 PM
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I booked a room for myself to stay in the night before, and offered the 5 of them to also stay, but did not require it. I imagine 3 of them will, 1 will probably stay at the hotel but in a room with her bf, and the 5th will most likely spend the night in her home 10 minutes away (she has 2 small kids)
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Dedicated September 2019
Aubrey · on March 26, 2019 at 12:53 PM
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Okay! Yes I have reached out offering it as an optional place to stay and explained the price and offered to help find other accommodations if they wanted to stay somewhere else
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Super September 2019
ASMini914 · on March 26, 2019 at 12:56 PM
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I think that’s a great plan, and after reading the other details in your post I can see why it would make the most sense to have everyone in one place!

Also, I don’t think it’s wrong at all for you to not invite SO/families. It sounds like you guys want a very intimate ceremony, and don’t want to have random people there! I think that’s such a good idea, and I love that you are having a larger celebration a few weeks after!
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Dedicated September 2019
Aubrey · on March 26, 2019 at 1:09 PM
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Thank you soooo much for your support! We definitely wanted our most important people there for the true wedding, but also wanted other family and friends to feel included, so this seemed like the best way to do that. We love the idea and all of our friends and family have been very supportive!
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on March 26, 2019 at 1:21 PM
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If they asked you to book their room, no. But if you want them all to stay at a specific hotel together, you should pay for it. However, I've never heard of you being responsible for their accommodations, usually BM can reserve and pay for their own.
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Dedicated September 2019
Aubrey · on March 26, 2019 at 1:23 PM
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It’s one Airbnb where I rented the house, I have since told them no one is mandated to stay there, so hopefully there will be no issue! Thank you!!
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VIP May 2019
Soon2Bmrsp · on March 26, 2019 at 1:37 PM
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NO, they should be paying for their own accomodations. I've always paid for my own accomodations as a bridesmaid even when I didnt want to stay. NOW, if you want to pay and do not expect to be refunded then that's your gift but it should not be expected.
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