Accommodations for Bridal Party

Is it required for them to stay there? Or can they chose their own place/stay at home and drive up the day of? If it is required, you pay for it. If it is optional, and they choose to stay there, they can pay for it.

View Quoted Comment Typically when you mention an adult’s family, you’re referring to their partner and/or children, not their parents or siblings. No one here is baffled that you didn’t invite your bridesmaid’s mom to your wedding, but the bridesmaid who is in a relationship or any that get into relationships by the wedding should be invited with their significant other.

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You took the words right out of my mouth.

First of all, it is your wedding and you have the right to invite whoever you want. If you chose not to invite your BP's SO's BIG DEAL. Especially if you are on a tight budget. And you never said you were requiring them to stay there. Furthermore, I'm sure you let the party know well in advance that the wedding would be a few hours away, if this was a problem for any of them, they could have declined. People in this discussion are acting all offended but it really isn't a big deal. I hate when people say "the bride is required to pay for ___". If you are really that tight on a budget and one of them asked how much they owe, you could always say if you guys want to pitch in that would be great, it would split evenly at $33 per person. You did a nice thing by booking them all in one place and saved them from having to make their own arrangements. Asking them to pitch in if they can, is not a horrible thing.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much! Yes, people did seem very offended in their responses and I didn’t really understand why! Thank you for being kind and supportive and also give an answer to the asked question! ❤️

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No problem!

I am getting a hotel room the night before the wedding and inviting all of my bridesmaids to stay with me if they'd like to (but it's totally optional and I'm only actually thinking 1 or 2 will stay there). I am paying for it, but truthfully I am traveling to my hometown and would need the hotel room regardless because it'll be our getting ready room the next morning and the hotel can't guarantee check in early in the morning. So whether or not they stay with me, my cost will be the same. I think if you present it as optional that should be fine! Just keep in mind if you say it comes out of $33 a person but half of them choose not to stay there, you are responsible for those amounts (you can't then go back to everyone and tell them that the per person cost went up because less people are splitting the cost).

View Quoted Comment Jenna! Good point! Thank you! As you said, I need to pay for a place anyways, but this seemed to me to be the most logical way to get us all to the place and then no one oversleeps of anything like that. Good point about the cost per person!

Both my girls are coming from out of state, and they are paying for their own rooms as well as their way here. In every wedding I have been in, I have paid for my own way/room and everything else unless it was for hair/makeup that the bride required. However, in order for me to get some time in with them before we go on our honeymoon bright and early the day after, I am getting us a room that I am paying for. I don't think it is unreasonable for your ladies to pay for their own rooms.

The norm around here is if the bride extends the offer to stay with her the night before that is on her (since she is paying for the room anyways even if you don’t stay). The night of the wedding no one stays with the bride and is on their own.
My wedding, I am opening up my home and then hosting breakfast and a mimosa bar.
I think you booked the room because you wanted it and you should pay for it since you need a place to stay anyways. If you are charging $33 and say it is for 6 of you and only 4 of you stay will you then make the others make up the cost or will you pay the rest anyways? Is it really worth the hassle over $33 for each of your ladies?

View Quoted Comment I'd have expected you to pay, since you did not bring it up with them well in advance. The majority of weddings I have been in , not just guest, the couple has paid lodgings for the night after the wedding only, if it was fine to drive there on wedding day. And the night before too, if not. We paid for individual rooms for our wedding party people.

View Quoted Comment Is everybody talking the same thing here? Bridal party members spouses or SO, and she says there are none, should be invited. But the bridal party members families they come from, like bm father, mother, siblings, those families are never automatically invited. Only invited if they are very close to B or G and would be invited even if family not in wedding party. There never has been any standard etiquette requiring asking the families of single unattached wedding party members. Nor to ever get to know them. Just spouses and established SO.

It's not up to you to pay, you can if choose to, but when someone agrees to be in a wedding there are certain costs up to them, the dress or tux, and hotel/motel is part of that. it's not at all unreasonable. I think the one bridesmaid was just wanting you to foot the bill. I wouldn't if you're on a budget.

Accepting to be a bridesmaid is an honor but also comes at a cost. Bridesmaid should be aware of this before accepting. It is not customary to have to pay for their accommodations as it was their choice to accept being in your bridal. Depending on how many people you have, that cost per person is low enough that it probably won’t make or break anyone.

Lol I am baffled by these ridiculous people getting all sensitive about the people you chose to invite to your private small ceremont with your closest friends and family that obviously don’t mind since they are still choosing to attend.*inhale* Sorry long sentence! Anyway, I want to applaud you for how respectful you were answering their “slightly” offensive comments I would have chewed them all a new one😆 I personally love how intimate your wedding sounds and I would totally attend!

Now back to your original topic: I just booked 2 Airbnb’s for my BP and their dates for the night of the rehearsal and the night of the wedding. It cost me $400 for 10 people which I personally think is a steal! I am not requiring them to stay or pay I offered it and booked it for everyone who wanted it. I think you should just make it an option like others have said.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I was definitely surprised at the backlash I received. $33 a head is definitely very cheap, I will definitely make it an option to the ladies to stay or handle their own accommodations. Thanks for your support!

Personally, every one of my bridesmaids has offered to help with anything. I have not discussed this but pretty much everyone I have talked to KNOWS the bride is already paying for most things so as long as you ask/ discuss with your bridesmaids, it's ok to ask them to chip in. If its just for that night why not split? If it's for you and your husband night of, that's probably on you and him, unless again someone wants to bless you

I have 2 bridesmaids (my cousin and my FSIL) who are 2-3 hours away. My hotel included special rate for the night before the wedding as well. I always feel guilty having people spend extra money so I understand but I can't afford to pay for their rooms, not including my 2 groomsmen. We just decided to do our rehearsal the morning (10 am) of our wedding since our ceremony isn't until 6pm. Nobody is obligated to spend the night on Friday or take the Friday off from work to be here at a certain time.

We are having a Cruise-ship Wedding and his sisters (and their children) are my bridal party. I am paying for their dresses and their cruise fare. They live in NC and we are in FL. One sister is my MOH. I am putting her in charge of finding accommodations for the bridal party and that way, they can choose where to stay and for how many days before embarkation they want to come down.