Adding a Co-maid of Honor

It's not the job of the MOH to help plan the wedding, though. The only things they need to do are get the dress and show up on the wedding day ready for photos.

The MOH designation is a chance for you to honour someone in your life who has been important and valued.

Having said all of that, it's fine to have two MOH's.

View Quoted Comment In general it’s fine to have co-MOHs but IMO it’s a bad look and will undoubtedly cause hurt feelings if you were to all of a sudden “promote” your existing BM for this purpose. As Jacks said, none of this is a MOH’s obligation or responsibility.


FYI any person, whether in the wedding party or not can offer to help plan parties etc.

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I have to completely disagree. There is an understood silent agreement that the MOH helps in the planning process. My MOH jumped in to help plan and I have jumped in as the MOH in the weddings I was the MOH for without question.

To the OP: I was the MOH in a friends wedding a co-MOH was added six months in and I wasn't offended at all! It actually helped me with the planning process and took a load off my plate. I think you would be ultimately relieved to add a second MOH and the 1st one might be relieved as well!

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As you state the agreement is "silent", it leaves a lot of room for misunderstanding.

I would never give advice to someone that their MOH is under any silent obligation. It doesn't do anyone any favours, and risks the friendship. Read around here for awhile, you'll see what I mean.

The wedding party is a chance for the couple getting married to honour their closest people. It's not the other way around. These people aren't unpaid wedding planners.

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It's a silent understanding--meaning that both parties have a mutual understanding and respect for the expectations of the roles. The role of the wedding party is to honor and celebrate the couple getting married. I'm not saying that the MOH should plan the whole wedding. I am saying that they should absolutely play a role in aiding the planning process alongside the bride.

I asked my sister to be my MOH and then she also got engaged and will be getting married in the prior and in same year. What I’m doing is having her take charge the months following her wedding and one of my other bridesmaids is actually pregnant and she is taking charge now until the time my sister has gotten married. (Which will also be after the baby) So maybe ask one of your other bridesmaids you help and just take charge and then your MOH can be in charge wedding day.

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You're asking a pregnant woman to work for you for free until a newlywed can take over? These women have other monumental events in their own lives. Step into modernity and enlist your partner who should be your equal in planning all life events with you.

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Take charge? Of what? Wedding planning is your job and that of your FI and any other host or co-host. MOH is an honor not a job with obligations, silent or otherwise. Anything your friends, family or bridal party choose to do for you in the way of hosting events or offering help is completely optional and voluntary.