Addressing Mum and Dad

I did outer envelope mr and Mrs James last name.
Inner I did mom James and Michele
i wanted a formal feel.

We addressed our envelopes to our parents with Mr. & Mrs. We didn't have inner envelopes but if we did I still would have used their first names and not Mom & Dad. I, personally, think it would have been a bit strange to see a wedding invitation addressed to Mom & Dad

View Quoted Comment I guess my thing is at no other time would I not use M&D, so feels a bit forced to do it on invites, or maybe I’m thinking too much into it

Hi Tamsin! I totally understand why it feels a bit formal addressing your parents as Mr. And Mrs. on your wedding invitations! But, it is proper etiquette to write our their formal names on any important mail! Therefore, I recommend just writing it out and not thinking too much about it! This is also helpful for mail services in case the mail was to be misdirected or sent to the wrong location! I hope this helps!

View Quoted Comment I understand that about the postman completely, although we will be hand delivering both of theirs so it would just be a name on the envelope in their case.
Then inside?

View Quoted Comment

That make's sense! I would still keep the addressing on the more formal side, as it is just common etiquette! If you have any more questions, you may want to reference these two articles:

How to Address Wedding Invitations So You Don’t Offend Anyone

Envelope Addressing Etiquette

I hope these help!

View Quoted Comment Thanks.

I’m not being argumentative at all but is not using formal names on invites when we are going for an informal invite and day a not counter intuitive?

For example using a full name of a guest who never uses it (Also is that rude?)


Also in the link there is no example of how to address a married mixed-sex couple but different surname, it assumes though couples are the same sex. Which for many of our guest would be the case - my parents included

I addressed ours with Mr. & Mrs.

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Hi Tamsin! To answer your questions, I think it's still polite to address with formal names, even for an informal affair! Since it is a wedding, it is still technically "formal" even if the event itself is not formal.

As for addressing individuals by their full names, I would address them by the name they go by, rather than their legal name. For example, If someone goes by their middle name, it is perfectly okay to address the invitations by their chosen name and the name they go by!

And when it comes to addressing same-sex couples, this article is super helpful and covers most situations: How to Address an Invitation to a Same-Sex Couple!

I really hope I answered your questions!

I understand the whole just handing it to mom and dad (I'll probably do that too) but to keep it simple and a formality I would still use Mr & Mrs. They may want to keep the whole thing as a keepsake anyway! On the other hand, maybe you do not even need to really address it at all? Because they are obviously coming. Maybe just give them a physical invitation for them to keep? That's what I am thinking. Why waste postage and expect an rsvp from mom and dad IF you live within distance to visit.

I didn't mail mine to my parents as we were able to hand deliver it to them, but I addressed FH's parents as Mr. & Mrs. so and so even though I really didn't need to.

View Quoted Comment Thanks, it is beneficial to see the ‘correct’ view of addressing them

- I wasn’t asking about same sex couples though. But mixed sex married with different names as this isn’t addressed in your link

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Oh no, I completely misunderstood what you were asking! When addressing an invitation to a mixed-sex couple with different last names, you should write the wife’s name first and then the husband's name on the same line. For example Mrs. Natalia Evans and Mr. Daniel Bing.

I really hope this helps! My apologies for the misunderstanding!

View Quoted Comment That is fine and thank you

although I know those in that group would hate being address like that - I guess I’ll just go with what I know they use.

And still ponder the Mum and Dad question when it comes to hand delivering

View Quoted Comment Thanks
yeah I’m debating addressing them generally now. If I’m just putting name on them so I don’t forget why put names I never use on it?

Hmmm