Addressing save the dates & invitations

If you don’t care about traditional etiquette, you can do whatever you want Personally I felt it was antiquated and unnecessary, so we bucked tradition and didn’t use honorifics (Mr, Mrs, Ms, etc) on our save the dates or invitations - unless it was a Dr.


In most cases we did use a person’s full formal name instead of a nickname. For married couples with the same last name, we did “John and Jane Doe” but I think the way you are leaning would be fine too if that’s what you prefer.

Save the dates are very informal so you don’t need Mr/Mrs. You also don’t need them for invitations unless it is a super formal black tie wedding.


Nicknames are fine. For example, if someone doesn’t go by their first name and you know them by their middle name, then use that. A full name is not necessary.
In our families and social circles, Mr and Mrs is only used for the most formal events and rarely for weddings. When it is used, it’s done as “Mr and Mrs Dan Jones” and adding the woman’s name as “and Mrs Joanne Jones” would raise an eyebrow. You can do whatever you are comfortable with.

It depends! Are you throwing a formal wedding? Or is it like semi-formal? If it's formal then ideally a lot of people put in Mr. and Mrs. If the couple happens to have the same last and are married then you can just address it to Mr. and Mrs. John Joe. If the couple happens to be just dating then you can address it to their respective names Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Smith.

But you can honestly do whatever you want!

My wedding wasn't formal so I just addressed it without adding Mr. and Mrs.

I skipped all the traditional titles. If they had the same last name, I just put "John and Jane Doe" and if they didn't I put "John Doe and Jane Deer." My sister's name is Rebecca and I put Becca on her envelope because that's what she goes by. The way you address your cards can help you set the tone for your wedding in the same way the design of the cards can, so opting to forego the formal titles can help your wedding lean away from traditional if that's something you're interested in.

Hi Jordan!! I went casual when addressing save-the-dates and skipped the "Mrs. / Ms. / Mr." and addressed them in the style of "John and Jane Doe".

For our invitations we made sure to use full names and went more formal! However, I personally hate being referred to as "Mrs. 'My Husband's Name'" so we went with either "The Does" or "Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe" (instead of "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe"). All of those options are formal and correct - so it's your choice!

Here's a great article with more expert addressing tips you can check out:

How to Address Wedding Invitations So You Don’t Offend Anyone 💌

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You're literally on an etiquette board.

For a more formal event, definitely use people's titles. For a less formal event, it's OK to use a less formal approch.

Have you ever been addressed as MRS., or SIR? You know how that feels wrong? I'm a Dr. and by convention I go by Dr. "Jacks". It would be very weird for me to receive an invitation addressed to "Mrs. Jacks" or Miss Jacks". It's just not me. If it was a casual event I'd be happy with "Jackie.."

I am with you! I would HATE to be called by my husband’s first AND last name, so I wasn’t about to do it to my guests. When deciding how to address the envelopes, we disregarded that standard etiquette. The idea was just too uncomfortable. We addressed them as “Mrs. Jane Doe & Mr. John Doe.” As a previous poster mentioned, use the correct title (“Dr.,” “the Honorable,” etc). I wouldn’t use nicknames unless it’s an informal event, but that’s also completely your decision & I personally wouldn’t think anything of it if I received an invite like that. Also, excluding “Mr.” and “Mrs.” etc, is fine too (but also seems less formal to me which is why we decided not to).


Bottom line: when it comes to “etiquette,” don’t feel obligated to follow it if it seems antiquated & arbitrary to you.

I’m working on this now and I’m personalizing it depending on each recipient! For instance, to indicate that the kids will be invited, I put “The Smith Family”. For my older relatives , I put “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” . For younger couples who live together but aren’t married, “Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. Joseph Jones”

For save the dates we only used mr and Mrs for his grandparents as we know they’re old school. Everyone else we just did “blank + blank last name” if married or both first and last name for couples that weren’t. We did however use full names and will be doing the same for the invitations. I just feel for a wedding it’s more proper

View Quoted Comment I did the same thing if it’s an entire family I invited. I put “the blank family” on the invites

View Quoted Comment I’m the same way about being addressed by my husbands first and last name as if I’m not a person and all I am is my husbands wife 🙄 it’s why we won’t be introduced that way at our reception either.


His mother wanted to address a card to us that way and I very quickly shut that down and asked her not to because it really bothers me