Adult only reception, not even flower girls and ring bearers

Did you know in advance that your siblings only child care was your parents? If so, I'm not sure who you thought would watch the children. I also don't know how you'd coordinate them being at the ceremony, but not at the reception. While it's totally fair that you want a child-free wedding, I think the problem comes down to that there isn't anyone that could watch the children except for people that are attending your wedding.

Flower girls and ring bearers aren’t meant to be ceremony props, they are child wedding guests with a special honor. I once sent my young children home with my in laws after they were in a wedding, but that was my own decision.


Have a child free wedding if you like, but then I wouldn’t ask them to be in the wedding. Flower girls and ring bearers are not a requirement. Your other issue is logistical if the siblings have no other babysitting options. Another option is to hire a sitter on site if the wedding is not local to everyone.
All that said it makes no sense to me that you say you’re doing this for your siblings because “you feel they need a night off.” Again, having children there is completely up to you but if that’s your reason shouldn’t that be their choice?

I agree with PP. If you are wanting thie kids in your wedding, they should be included at the reception. Hire a sitter on-site if needed.

I agree to hire a nanny/sitter on-site who can watch the kids after the ceremony. I've seen weddings do this and it seems very chill, the kids just nap or have snacks in a separate room. You never know, they might even want to dance around at the reception for a while too!

A few things:

1. It's rude to invite someone to the ceremony but not to the reception, even children. It's even more rude to use them as ceremony props and not invite them to the reception. Having a child free wedding is fine, but it's all or nothing. If you invite children they must be invited to everything just like all other guests.

2. What were you expecting to happen when you made this rule while knowing full well that all of the babysitters your siblings trust to watch their kids will be at the wedding?

3. Please stop trying to spin this decision as something good you are doing for the parents (saying you want them to have a night off). That's something only the parents get to decide. Plus, this is only making things more difficult for the parents. Own the truth that you simply don't want to invite the kids.

If you made this decision because you think the parents will enjoy themselves more without kids, and the parents are telling you they don't actually like it and it's making things harder for them - that was a nice thought but apparently they won't enjoy themselves more without kids.

I agree with everybody else, I think this needs to be an all or nothing deal. Either invite the kids to the reception, or simply don’t have them stand in the ceremony. The only other option I could see would be hiring an on-site babysitter for them.

On top of what everyone else has said. We really need to stop trying to justify a childfree wedding as a favor to parents. I don't even have children and this irks me, because it has a similar connotation to "people can just turn our destination wedding into a vacation". A child free reception is not for the parents. It's for you. That's OK. There is additional logistical, financial, and planning to the parents' plate when you make it childfree, those are not favor. They don't need permission, they will "take a night off" of their own volition and enjoy themselves how they want and when they want.

View Quoted Comment I like this idea of a sitter on site! Thanks!