Adults Only Reception....tacky?

I disagree. What are you supposed to do, call every guest to tell them?

Hi Shana, I am choosing to do an adult only reception also. Or asking that kids leave by 7p.m. I haven't decided yet. I don't think it is tacky. It's hard to have little ones running around and plus my FH and my friends can get a little rowdy. That's why we are either going with no kids after 7p.m. or no kids at all. And I do not think it is tacky at all! if that is what you want then go for it.

She said that most people will know if it doesn't say "And Family" or include their kids names than they should know they aren't invited...

EDIT TO ADD: I dont think it's tacky...I just want to know what others say...to be sure im not wrong.

I don't think it's tacky at all. If I were a guest and saw that, I'd actually be pretty excited. Kids are not allowed in bars, primarily because of the alcohol & drunken debaucheries that occur as a result. Saying that, I think it is a fabulous idea!

Well, I agree in part. Most people SHOULD know, but it has been my experience that most people DON'T know.

I think the purpose of an invitation to the reception(as opposed to the ceremony invitation that is the main card) is to inform your guests of what they can expect at your reception.

My daughter, Cate's, invitation invites initially read:

"Please join us for an adults only evening of cocktails, dinner and dancing."And then the venue and time were listed. Since her two nephews will be at the wedding, her FMIL wanted it off the invitation.

Ditto Carole. Especially about the distinction between the ceremony invitation, and the reception card.

In a perfect world I agree with your FMIL and here's why - ideally I think it's better to emphasize who IS invited instead of who is NOT invited. Like, writing each individual's name on the envelope and RSVP card, using RSVP formatting like "__ seats are reserved in your honor", etc. And then if people add any extra guests to an RSVP card, kid or adult, you call them up and straighten it out. But, it's not a perfect world, and only you know if your guests need an extra hint.

Is she twisted about the wording? Or is she really twisted about the fact that it's adults only, and nitpicking your wording to prove a point? Sometimes I wonder when people get so obsessed with a detail like that.

Kris S....Cate's FMIL(who is not paying a dime for anything related to the day of the wedding, but generously hosting a lavish rehearsal dinner) wanted it removed because Cate's 3 nephews would be there and she didn't want family politics. I said....eff her!

Edit to add:

Print this out and give it to her. http://weddings.about.com/od/weddinginvitations/a/BasicWording.htm

This isn't even a case of, "If she is writing the checks, she can control it." This is a black and white issue of right or wrong according to the gods of wedding ettiquette

Not tacky at all, I promise.

@Kristi--thanks! & it's exactly what I though. The reason we didnt want kids there because we didnt want to have to censor ourselves at our own wedding(it's not like WE have kids). He wants to be able to drink and let loose.. & I have a sailor mouth(which I need to work on) but I dont wanna worry about slipping out a $hiT or anything else once in a while

@Mrs Carole--- I agree I think people SHOULD know and to be honest before all the planning and visiting these forums..I LEARNED that if your name isn't on the envelope you're not INVITED. Had no clue! We are having 1 child there who is a 2nd cousin coming from FL. THAT IT. (minus my nephew who is a jr groomsmen.)

THANKS LADIES MORE COMMENTS ARE WELCOME AS I'd like to show FMIL I'm not the only one lol

Shana....Re check my post, I gave you a link you can print out and give to her.

Disagree

@ Kris S. Im really not sure, but I think it's the wording...maybe I'll forfeit and do this:"writing each individual's name on the envelope and RSVP card, using RSVP formatting like "__ seats are reserved in your honor", etc. And then if people add any extra guests to an RSVP card, kid or adult, you call them up and straighten it out."

I dont know yet..undecided.

@ Jamie H.-I didnt think so..thanks!

It is not tacky....when you add adults only...you leave no doubt...to the atmosphere of your reception...most people understand that a couple wants to enjoy their celebration without children running around and will make appropriate arrangements...you will get some backlash for it...there is a simple response.."we would love for you to share in our day, but we do understand if you are unable to attend"

@ MRs. Carole--thanks!

@Karla H- Thanks!

I think it would be inconsiderate to NOT put that on the invitation, it is important information that your guests need to know ahead of time.

on a side note to @Cayte M - I'm not going to try and start the discussion of whether you should or shouldn't allow kids, but can I offer a suggestion because I do think that requiring guests to have their kids leave by 7 is kind of mean. I would suggest either going with adults only the entire evening, or hiring a babysitter in a seperate place to take the smaller children after a certain hour. There have been multiple threads on this subject and most of us agree that, if you are going to allow children to come, you should leave it up to the parents to know the best time to take their children home.

@Jennifer....I totally agree. But then again, I favor adults only receptions. Whenever my children were invited, I never took them. For me, it was a night out.

From the number of posts we've had on here about brides getting RSVPs for extra children, extra people, different people, etc.... I think it's a good idea to be clear on the invitation/info card what type of event people can expect, and who exactly you're inviting with the card. And "Adults Only" or something similar clearly expresses your intentions.

If I was a mother, and I didn't have any information about the type of reception, and I received an invite addressed to my husband and I, I can see where I might assume it is for the entire family.

Per traditional etiquette, I understand why this assumption is wrong - since the invite should be specifically address to everyone it applies to - but I know lots of parents who kind of default to a family-oriented thought process.

It's not tacky - if anything it will clear up confusion that may otherwise happen.

It's definitely not tacky!!!!!!

It is definitely not tacky and I plan on doing the same thing and hope my family gets the drift..I have said straight out I do not want children at the wedding (the only one I am having is my 6 year old nephew who is my ring bearer) and my mom took this as it would be ok for my aunt to bring her baby who will be close to one (which in my mind is the worse age b/c I don't want a screaming child in the middle of my wedding) because I don't have to pay for him. I explained to her yet again it is the fact that we do not want children, not the fact of paying for them. So I will be writing in bold orange big letters adult only reception

Kind of random to add but one of my friends sent an invite to her grandmother and her grandmother rsvp'ed with plus 8....I guess granny travels with an entourage! I will be including names on my rsvp cards for this very reason. lol