Adults Only Wedding Wording & Childcare

No and No. Invite specific people on the invite (as in NOT the kids) and don't make childcare your problem. It's one more thing to make yourself nuts over.

OMG super nice of you to offer childcare but it is NOT NECESSARY! I'm not having a wedding website so I'm not sure on what to do there, but on my rsvps they will be writing in how many people will be coming in a blank space, such as ..."___fill in here___ out of 2.... And I'm making damn sure it's on my invitation/rsvp that no kids are allowed. Writing that on the rsvp and addressing it to mr and mrs smith will help them figure it out without it being rude. But hey if you gotta be up front about it with some people, it is YOUR DAY. not their kids!

Offering childcare would be a real kindness on your part. Some people will not take advantage of it, and that's their loss, but some people will be really grateful that they can still come to your wedding, even if they can't find someone to watch their kids (usually this is a big problem who are traveling overnight, so maybe not an issue for any of your guests).

We put 'Adult reception to follow' on the invitations AND addressed to specific people. And of course I'm STILL having family members asking if they're allowed to bring their kids and others who Rsvp'd for 4 when it was addressed to 2. Now I have to figure out a polite to reiterate no kids!

We had an adult-only wedding (even the flower girl and ring bearer were picked up by their grandparents after the ceremony). We simply addressed invitations to the people who were invited (Mr. & Mrs. John Smith instead of The Smith Family) and we didn't have a SINGLE guest try to add their kids. We did not put "adult only" anywhere on the invitation, also to me that implies you can bring your kids to my ceremony but not my reception which is false. We did include a note on our wedding website about the reception being adult only: "We love children, and hope to have our own some day! However, the historic Mansion is not child-friendly, and we want all of our friends and family with young children to be able to party the night away with us! Therefore, our reception will be an adults-only celebration."

If you really want to provide childcare, I would include an insert in your invitation saying that for any family interested, childcare will be provided (at the hotel, I'm assuming). Make sure the person you hire is CPR certified and background checked. Depending on the ages of the children, you may need more than 1 person to safely watch them, especially in a strange place like a hotel room. I would simply give the name and contact information for the babysitter and have any interested families contact them to reserve directly.

Also... change your avatar

Do not offer to pay for childcare - this actually may actually encourage people to bring kids who wouldn't otherwise, and then they'll get there and one or more of them will then either a) have to leave early because the child is melting down, or b) the parents will be constantly checking on them, and not be fully present for the wedding.

You have to accept when you decide not to have children attend that some people may not attend due to this - that is a fact of weddings.

If we had not wanted children to attend, in invitations to friends with children I'd include a hand-written short note on an extra blank note card "We're so excited to celebrate our special day with our family and dear friends, and appreciate your understanding that we have decided to have an adults-only reception. We hope that you and your wife will still be able to join us. Much love,.."

Just an idea.

Thank you everyone! Very helpful. Rebecca H, I had the same thought about people leaving or being distracted.

As has already been mentioned by some, I wouldn't recommend providing childcare-especially if you plan on mailing save the dates. This should give your guests ample time to make childcare arrangements. As for the wedding website, that is what we put on ours. I'm of the belief that every event isn't for children and that parents should understand that it is ok for them to have fun without their kids. Address the invitations explicitly and spread it by word of mouth. Be prepared for people gripe and complain-and if they choose not to come because of it, look at it as them saving you some money. Whatever you do, do not make any exceptions. Making exceptions (aside from children in the bridal party) will cause more problems than it is worth.

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