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Krista
Beginner May 2020

Adults only?

Krista, on June 20, 2019 at 12:39 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 21
How do you handle your “adult only affair”. People give me a weird look when I tell them we wish to have adults only. Also, how do you word it on your save the dates and invitations. I just used “adult only affair” on our save the date. Do guests get the hint? We would prefer no children because of the amount of alcohol that will be consumed and our venue is right on the river.

Adults only? 1

21 Comments

Latest activity by Sherry, on July 11, 2019 at 1:00 PM
  • Mariangeli
    Devoted October 2019
    Mariangeli ·
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    Do you have a website? i would put it on there and not on the save the date. Also address the invites to only the specific people invited! Avoid saying "Smith Family" and instead say "Mr and Mrs Smith"


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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    "Adults only affair" isn't a hint, it's pretty blunt. Etiquette wise, the best way to handle it is to just not invite children. Some people disgree, but I've never received an invitation to an event that says "don't bring your brother," because there's no need to mention who isn't invited. Just address the invitation to who you want to invite and then on the RSVP card put "we have reserved __ seats in your honor" and fill in the blank. This will prevent them from adding extra guests. You could also add it to your wedding website if you don't think that's sufficient.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I would put it on the FAQs on your website. For invites, I'd address the invites to specifically the adults then include RSVP cards that say "___ out of ___ attending" and fill out the second line.

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  • Jessica
    VIP June 2020
    Jessica ·
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    I did not put it on our save the dated but on the bottom of our invitations I put "Adults only affair". If they don't get the hint then when their RSVPs come back with kids names on them we will call them and just let them know we don't have the space for everyone's kids so we are asking only adults attend. I also did the "we saved __ seats in your honor" thing.

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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    Using “adult only affair“ sounds fine to me. If people give weird looks, that’s on them. It’s not going to change the fact that you’re not having children at your wedding. Parents should realize that every event is not child friendly.
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  • Future Mrs. McCully
    Devoted July 2019
    Future Mrs. McCully ·
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    I put: "Although we love your children we unfortunately cannot accommodate them at the venue due to restricted numbers. We hope you see this as an opportunity to let your hair down and enjoy the party with us!"

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I sometimes see people say make it a date night, it's an adults only wedding.
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  • Krista
    Beginner May 2020
    Krista ·
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    I love this idea! Thank you!💕
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  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly ·
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    I didn’t put it on the save the date (although I really wanted to). I did put the wedding website on the save the date & then included verbiage that says unfortunately we are only able to accommodate children in the wedding party at the reception on the website.

    On the RSVP card I also stated # of adults attending wedding.

    Hopefully everyone gets it.
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  • Future Mrs. McCully
    Devoted July 2019
    Future Mrs. McCully ·
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    Even if it is a lie and your venue doesn't have restricted numbers your guests don't need to know that (:

    My venue doesn't have "restricted numbers" but I have to pay $15 per person if we go over 125 guests...so they are restricted numbers when it comes to my budget...this isn't including the catering costs per person...so much cheaper to have adult only!

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  • Carlee
    Dedicated September 2019
    Carlee ·
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    We are having an adult only wedding as well. I put on the details card "An Adult only reception will be held immediately following the ceremony" Also on the RSVP cards I did ____of____ will be attending.

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  • Mj
    Devoted June 2019
    Mj ·
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    We actually didn't put adults only anywhere on the invites. The ones who did have young kids, we explained to them that we made an age limit of "___" and every parent said it was fine and they understood. Maybe it is just our families but my FH's sister had the same rule at her wedding so it may have just trickled over. Also, when you send the invites and address them, they normally get the hint as well. If they don't just reassure yourself by telling them.

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  • Heather
    Devoted February 2020
    Heather ·
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    This what we are doing. I’m also adding a line on our details card. I want to take every step possible to prevent anyone from saying “oh I didn’t know”.
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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    I think saying an adult only affair is polite and makes the point.
    Not sure how you're defining adult but as you mentioned alcohol if nobody under 21 is attending you could also say 21+ event.
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    This is just an odd point, but if you’re including it on your save the date, I’d change the wording to add “only” 😳...while I’m sure everyone could figure it out “adult affair” on it’s own has another connotation ....

    we personally left it off paper cards, but I did note it on our website (just concise “adults only affair”), and I kind of spread the word just verbally among relatives. We always addressed envelopes specifically to the named invitees, and on my rsvp cards we put “__ of __ attending” and filled in the second number. But, we weren’t particularly worried about our crowd — most had hosted weddings, most “got it” ...so while it may not be proper etiquette, I do think in some situations there may be certain people who could definitely benefit from it being clearly spelled out!
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  • C
    Devoted September 2019
    Caitlyn ·
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    Put it on the website if you have one. Only address you invitations to specific people not "XX and Family". You could also say on the RSVP cards that you've reserved X number of seat(s) for the person/couple.

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  • K
    Expert February 2020
    Kristina ·
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    I found the saying below and I think we will be putting it on the invites

    "Make it a date night, it's an adult-only wedding"

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  • Isabella
    Dedicated June 2020
    Isabella ·
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    I agree that you should only address the invitations to the people invited if you're not including kids (for the record, we are also not doing anyone under 21, it seems to be an unpopular decision for those with kids but it is our wedding so I feel you completely). I think you phrased it very clearly on the save the date, but I will warn you that some family member will still put their kids on the RSVP and you'll have to have a "speech" prepared for what to say to them!

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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    I think if it's a strange concept, you should definitely put it on there.
    Where I'm from, you just put the adults names on the invite. The kids are part if the package. Its assumed they are invited. So yes, putting it on there is a good idea.
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  • Danielle
    Savvy September 2019
    Danielle ·
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    We are having an adult only reception as well. I have made it as clear as I can that we are having an adult only reception as best I could. I put "Adult Reception" on the Save the Dates and on the Wedding Invitations. It is in my Q&A section of my wedding website. I was specific on who the invitations were addressed to. And I also filled out the names on the RSVP cards as well. My reasoning for doing all this is because we have a very limited amount of guests we can invite and have no room for unexpected extras.

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