Advice about 2021

I feel your pain. I'm a February 2021 bride and we have a backup 2022 date on hold for the next week while we decide. Our venue is starting to open back up with indoor events and is a little judgmental of us considering postponing. But we have a lot of people on our guest list who would not feel comfortable coming in February. And they're important people to us. It's all so weird and sad and hard. If you envision your day being big and full of dancing and hugging, I say postpone. But I also understand that you feel like throwing in the towel and doing something small instead. Not sure if this was helpful but good luck and keep us posted with what you decide!

We married on our original date this May but postponed our wedding to June 2021. Like you, I am not interested in a socially distanced wedding where people wear masks, don't hug, and can't dance together. I'm also not going to put my family and guests at risk to have a "pre-Covid normal" wedding when the virus is still a threat. Even if we can legally have a no masked, touch all you want wedding of the size we planned (60-80 people, so pretty small anyway), we aren't going to jeopardize our parents' (they're in their 70s and have pre-existing conditions) and loved ones health if it isn't safe to do so.

We are in New Hampshire but we have family in northern New Jersey (I grew up there) and NYC. I am seriously doubtful that a "normal" wedding will be possible during the first half of 2021, or at all next year. However we were in a position where we had already planned everything and booked all our vendors, and all our deposits were non-refundable, but transferable, so pushing things back a year seemed like the best option even if not a guaranteed one.

I think a lot of people who are plowing ahead optimistically with wedding planning for 2021 are either 1) completely disillusioned, 2) not taking the pandemic very seriously, and/or 3) so invested in the wedding industry that they have no choice. Wedding venues and vendors are unlikely to survive 2-3 years of a wedding drought, so they have to push forward and hope for the best. They need to anticipate and plan for a scenario where weddings indeed are possible next year, even if that isn't realistic, and they need to make all of us believe that having a dreamy wedding in 2020 or 2021 is a viable option. Also vendors are more focused on making weddings happen, period, rather than making the wedding of your pre-pandemic dreams happen - a DJ gets paid whether they DJ a dancing reception or a dinner party, a photographer still shoots your wedding whether your guests are masked or not, and serving food to 50 guests is the same whether they sit side by side at long farm tables or spaced 6 feet apart.

Planning may also be a coping strategy for home - planning a wedding may give some couples hope and something to look forward to when everything else is going badly. Some people are more optimistic, some are more pragmatic. Some are idealists, some are realists. We're all wired a bit differently. But feeling uncertain about 2021 is definitely normal!

I personally would not invest any more money in wedding planning right now. If you've already booked vendors and made deposits that are non-refundable, I don't feel there is any reason to pre-maturely cancel your wedding - there is a possibility that things will have improved a lot by June next year, and the money is already spent so you might as well hold the space just in case.

I would definitely hold off on purchases you have not already made and booking additional vendors. If you do go ahead and book more vendors be very clear about cancelation policies, postponements, and refunds, and limit yourself to booking only vendors you absolutely need and where you can either get a refund or apply your deposit to a service you can use later in the event your June 2021 event is canceled (for example, you might find the deposit for a wedding photographer useful whether you opt for a big event and a whole photo package or have your photographer shoot a small backyard elopement instead).

Since we already have all our vendors booked I'm just trying to not think about it until closer to December (which is when we'd send our new Save the Dates) and then not again until much closer to the wedding. I've already dumped enough time, energy, stress, and tears into it, and I'm going to do my best not to set myself up to be disappointed again.

Hello, I am a fellow June 2021 bride as well and to be honest I’ve spent the entire summer having crazy anxiety and stress over the pandemic affecting our wedding and how it will look. I even stopped planning completely at a point for a while because it seemed impossible to plan for something that could change in the blink of an eye. I cried, A LOT! Sometime last month I finally came to terms with everything. I randomly felt fine having a smaller under 50 wedding. (5 stages of grief I guess) I feel fine (came to terms) with having social distancing at our wedding and seating ppl by households and Having guests in masks and no dancing. My way to control that and feel okay with it was buy purchasing customizable masks for the guest, and satin pink masks for my bridesmaids and grey masks for the grroomsmen. This way everyone looks nice and uniformed.) I guess I had to grieve what I wanted or thought I wanted to be happy with what I can have. Now my FH and I can plan the intimate wedding we always wanted but couldn’t have because my family is enormous and I didn’t have the heart to cut ppl so covid did it for me. We’re going to do photo montages of us birth to now and photos of us and our loved ones in attendance over the years. I think guests will really like that. It’ll be a more personalized experience. We’re going to play the newly wed game and other couple trivia, have more speeches than just the best man and maid of honor, have wedding crosswords at the tables and advice for the newly wed advice cards, even a share a recipe with us card for guests to fill out and us to have as keepsakes. Do I think things will be fine by June, no. And that reality does sting. I guess it’s all about re-envisioning your day and what the reality of it will look like and seeing whether or not you can be okay with that. My only main concern at this point is fear of another major shutdown. I’m in nyc and since schools have opened cases have been going up so that has me weary. But I do wish you luck!

I think it will depend on your venue and your guest size. Outdoor Venues have a lot more lenience with how many people can be there and if they need facemasks. I personally think that you won't be able to get everything you want and dream of, no masks and no social distancing, until Fall 2021 at the earliest. I think there is too much in the air and so much could change.

NYC could also become a hot spot area again and you could face further restrictions again. If you are wanting to get married as soon as you can. Think of doing a Minimony with just your closest family and then plan a big party for Fall 2021 or later.

There is a lot still in the air. If we ever get widely available rapid testing, that is something that would allow you to get your guests tested prior and then be able to have what you dream of.

I believe things will be different next year, maybe not as bad as it was this year because we have learned so much, yet I do not believe things will be normal until at least summer 2022. Too many people completely disregarding the guidelines and pretending this doesn't exist pushing everything we have gained back. I can only hope the vaccine helps push us towards the right direction but I'm not too confident on it. FH and I have gone back to our plan of leap day 2024 , since we don't see an end to this this year or next.

I would put the wedding on hold u love each other your love will grow more when u are able to have everyone there that u love