Advice for those planning their Weddings on a budget

Yikes! Sounds like a disaster. People get so heated about this but its awful to require elegant dress codes and cheap out on dinner and venue. My brother just told me he’ll be gifting us our photographer and I plan to use the savings for passed appetizers during cocktail hour ( package comes with some stations like fruit and cheese).

Amen! I feel like some people get SO offended when you point out their lack of consideration for their guests’ experience. Some people act like they are doing their guests a favor by just inviting them to their event; when in reality they should be honored those people took time out of their schedules, dressed up, purchased a gift, and attended. I’ve seen so many brides who want to blow the bank on their photography, videography, wedding dress, etc.… but then won’t open their wallets when it comes to graciously hosting their guests. The moment you invite people to your event, it is no longer just about you - you have now created an obligation for yourself to properly host those invited. No one is saying you have to spend a fortune on a wedding…. You just need to host a wedding that you can actually afford. So if feeding your guests properly means you can only invite 50 people instead of 100 people, then that’s what you do.

Yes. I went to a wedding where the buffet food was similarly bad. It was miserable. To this day, it is literally the only thing the Bride's family talks about when her wedding is brought up. 😬

Holy cow. What kind of venue was this hosted at?
Just wondering as there were several people who dropped the ball.
Our venue has so much food for cocktail hour and dinner, I’m not sure whose going to eat all of this food. 😆

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The "venue" was a picnic pavilion in a (gorgeous) state park. It was the catering at fault, and poor timing/planning on the wedding party. And again to reiterate, this could have been a lovely, inexpensive event with a little more thought to guest comfort and less on all the frills.

View Quoted Comment They could’ve easily reduced guest count like you mentioned. Also, reducing the larger wedding party would’ve helped free up some funds for food.

We are SO happy with the food we picked ! Usually local restaurants give great deals for catering and that’s what we got !! We will have prime rib, stuffed chicken, garlic smashed potatoes, brown sugar glazed carrots, apple butter biscuits and a side salad ! Our 3 appetizers are crab Mac and cheese, sweet and sour meatballs and a veggie display. We picked out are food based solely on taste but we were so happy that our price was around 6,000 and we have about 110 people coming!

This also includes water, soda, tea and lemonade!

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You had me at garlic smashed potatoes. That all sounds amazing!

View Quoted Comment When we went for a taste test they brought out a whole bunch of food for free and it was SO GOOD… This restaurant is close to our venue which is an hour away from where we live and we have even eaten there a few times after the taste testing because it’s THAT GOOD!

I think that the dinner you describe sounds great, and appropriate for a state park setting cookout vibe! It’s unfortunate that there wasn’t water and soda/lemonade the whole time, it sounds like that was one oversight. But is it in good taste to criticize another person’s wedding?

Totally agree, went to a wedding this past weekend where the food was really terrible and the timeline was also slow. I dont expect wedding food to ever be great, but I certainly hope that it's going to be somewhat edible. I dont blame the couple because who knows what could have happened behind the scenes, and I know the restaurant catered in from fairly far away and probably didnt have the proper equipment to keep the food at the proper temp. That and a bad DJ can really ruin an event.

View Quoted Comment It probably wouldn’t be in good taste to criticize somebody else’s wedding to the couple’s family, etc. But it’s totally appropriate to use it as a helping/learning experience on a wedding forum dedicated to just this. This forums purpose is literally to share tips, ideas and experiences in order to help other couples avoid mistakes we’ve witnessed; and to pass on great tips to help others create fun, memorable weddings for themselves and their guests. By sharing her experience, the poster could potentially help a lot of brides on a small budget reevaluate where they are investing their money, in order to get the biggest bang for their buck. And it also helps remind everyone that you must keep your guest experience in mind when planning your wedding.

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Absolutely, all weddings i've been to/been in have been learning experiences. I've learned about what matters and what doesnt, what's important to a guest v. a bridal party v. family obligation. I would never criticize someone's wedding to them, but its helpful for my husband and I to have those experiences and conversations while we're planning our own day.

Honestly the food you described sounds fine. The #1 suggestion on the forum is “do bbq because it’s cheapest on a budget “ until someone actually does and then it’s called “inconsiderate and not a real menu”. It’s one or the other but not both. I’m not a fan of bbq myself but I wouldn’t criticize someone for serving it. Not serving any beverages until the couple arrives is the inconsiderate part and sounds like they didn’t know what they were doing and couldn’t afford or didn’t want a professional coordinator to smooth this out. Not everyone follows dress code either and many circles don’t list it at all but guests still dress appropriately. Having a large group of attendants is popular currently but no one ever mentions the downside. Lots of people have receptions like you are describing or they serve cake and coffee only and it’s still a reception because the couple is hosting their wedding guests based on what is common in their social circle that they like and can afford without asking guests to pay. While it may not be to your personal tastes, there is nothing they did wrong based on your description, other than withholding beverages.

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Since I made OBERVATIONS about the wedding I attended and posted them HERE, and did not say a peep to anyone even remotely related to anyone at the event .... yeah, it sure is ok. The incongruity of the dress code vs. the venue really stood out to me. If I had been forewarned about the 'picnic style' reception, I would have less to be upset over.

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Thanks, Cece. That was the intention, to make brides aware that guests need to be thought about. I mean, we traveled 1200 miles to go to this event. Yeah, we knew what expenses it would create, but it was OUR choice to attend. I just wish the reception had been better thought out.

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I've been to "bbq" weddings .... and had NO complaints for 2 reasons. #1 - I knew ahead of time that it was a picnic style event, and #2 - the selections for the bbq were amazing. Salad, corn bread, baked beans, potato salad that wasn't raw, and usually 3 selections of protein. This event had none of the above. Yes, I WILL make critical observations of any event I attend. As long as I don't offend the host/hostess or anyone close to them, I feel that it's fine to share.

I would be annoyed to wait 2 hours for my sandwich while they took pictures with a 12-person wedding party. I think the day could have been smoother if they had a point person for time and water. Did anyone stay for the full reception, or did they have to get back on the road again because they travelled far?

This is the absolute problem with dress codes. I'd be thrilled to be eating a pulled pork sandwich in a formal gown in a park (sarcasm).

Less guests, a smaller wedding party and a couple of tweaks and this event could have been great.