Advice on kids at wedding

Sorry misspelled advice..

I put a note on our invites that only kids in the wedding party will be present and we request it be an adult only event. You could list it on your website if you have one or on your details card saying that only kids of the wedding party will be present. Its your one day, you are not being selfish.

Yes it is rude to pick and choose which kids are invited and which aren’t. Your guests will never tell you but they will be offended if you say “sorry your kids can’t come” and they get there to see random kids including those in the wedding party and babies. They are all or none.


Can you hire a child care business?

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry that I don’t want mother’s who have infants breastfeeding in the isle on my wedding day? I don’t think that is rude I think a lot of brides would feel the same way. Or having 15 kids running around a ceremony. There is no day care at the hotel we are getting married at:

View Quoted Comment Good idea. Thank you.

It is definitely not socially acceptable to have some children and not others. It really shows where people lie on your totem pole. People will definitely be offended if you tell them they cant bring their child, but then other children are present.

Now, if you honestly dont give a crap about these guest's feelings then its your day, do whatever you want. But just know people will have hurt feelings.

If I were you, I would either say "no kids except for our son" OR (assuming you already told some people they could bring their kid) I would find a sitter (using care, or facebook babysitting groups for your city) and have a hotel room for the sitter and kids to use during the wedding/reception. Parents can go check on them whenever, they are in the same building, but away from the wedding

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I don't think its rude at all, I feel the same way. I don't want a bunch of ill behaved kids ruining the ceremony and the reception. People can figure out daycare themselves, that is not your responsibility. If they don't like it they don't have to come. I don't see a problem with someone who is actively part of the wedding party bringing their kid. If you put a note somehwere that says our son and children of those in our wedding party will be present, we are not able to accommodate all children. I think that would be fine.

You can, but you might get a hard time from people. It would put a bad taste in my mouth to be a non family guest with a kid.

It’s 100% fine to invite some kids and not others, just like it’s okay to invite some adults and not others. I would use rsvp cards that make it obvious how many seats are reserved for those invited instead of directly saying that some kids are invited and some aren’t.

I had a 4 month old, a one year old,a two year old and about 4 kids 5-10 years old. They were perfectly behaved. They were quiet during the ceremony, danced at the reception and stayed up through the entire night. Two of the young boys had a hilarious dance battle. I’m so happy I had them and I enjoyed going to weddings as a kid. I vote yes.

View Quoted Comment While I think it’s fine that you only invite kids in the family and not others, infants don’t really count as kids. You don’t have to pay for them

View Quoted Comment Infants do count as children because that’s what they are.. The fact you are not paying for a seat for them is moot. You will have guests upset they are told to follow different rules as a lower tier of guests.

View Quoted Comment I’m not so worried about paying for them I just don’t want them screaming during my ceremony

We are having only our family children and wedding party children same as you. Unlike what other people said it’s not rude to invite other kids. If your not close to their kids then don’t invite them it’s not all or nothing. If I’m not important enough to be invited to those kids birthday parties than they aren’t important enough to come to the wedding. It doesn’t matter if people will get upset or offended people got mad at my shower that our favors were too small. It’s your wedding not theirs so you invite the kids who are important to you and call it good! You also don’t need to put anything about who is and isn’t invited. If they are invited they got an invite and if people ask just say only kids that are close and family are invited and leave it at that. Good luck girl!

The moment people find out that there are some kids invited, they will try to force you to invite their children as well, no matter how often you explain that you can only accept so many kids on the day. I dare you not to explode at the sixth person who tries to convince you that their little angel is perfectly behaved and would be a delight to have at the reception. And how little "Theodore" really loves to dance at partys, or how it would mean so much to little "Anne-Louise" to see you in your wedding dress. While the truth is, "Theodore" tends to trip over his own feet and then howl like an animal, and "Anne-Louise" honestly cares much more about Paw Patrol than you and your wedding. It's just their parents who are the problem and can't let go for one evening.
So, for your own peace of mind, be consequent, and just make it an adults-only event. Or close family only, children get picked up after the ceremony, no exceptions. We're making one exception for a baby that will only be 7 months old on the date and I'm already regretting it because this has opened up a can of worms of epic proportions.

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Why would mothers be breastfeeding infants in the aisle?

If you invite only some kids, the parents of the kids who aren't invited will question that. It's human nature.

It's not polite to put on an invitation who isn't invited ie "no kids" or "only certain kids" is considered rude.

My only suggestion would be to let people know sooner rather than later if they are going to need to find childcare. Especially if they are coming from out of town.

I think just having your child and the others you mentioned is completely reasonable. In recent years I have seen less children at weddings. Guest lists have been smaller due to Covid restrictions.

It is absolutely not rude. It is your day and having to worry about 15 kids running around is not necessary. Also not necessary to arrange and supply child care. Sorry but having to figure out child care is part of becoming a parent and that isn’t your responsibility.

This subject always brings out the "you are rude" comments. But seriously, it is YOUR DAY. Why in the world would anyone want to drag little children to an event they have NO desire to attend (no matter what the parents tell you) There are no discount meals for children, so you'd be paying full fair for a child who will maybe eat 2 bites. And seriously, how much fun is it for the parents? No no no, unless you have a real relationship with the children, do NOT include them at your RECEPTION. Parents can bring them to the ceremony if it's going to "mean so much for little Susie to see you in your dress." Be firm, be honest and enjoy the day.