Advice please, should i ask my friend to be a bridesmaid?

Hi all, I had a read through some similar posts but really need advice on my specific situation.


I once had a best friend, it’s actually our 10 year friendiversary this year. We were in brownies together, were on the same national citizen service course and finally met again on the same college course and decided we were meant to be in each others lives. She was the best friend I ever had, I’ve always been an outcast and struggled to maintain friendships. Within a year we were inseparable. We got a job at the same hospital doing the same role and would coordinate our shifts and look after patients together. My family love her like a daughter, my dad who had dementia regularly asks after her. We each went away to different unis 4 hours away from each other but spoke daily on the phone and regularly visited (Neither of us left uni with any new friends). Throughout this friendship we have experienced everything (new jobs, new homes, new partners) and nothing has ever changed the dynamic, even when I got engaged, bought an house and settled down 3 years ago. We used to joke that we were codependent.
However over the last 18 months we have been drifting, we can go months without contact and I last saw her in person over a year ago (she now only lives 45 minutes away and she has to drive past my house to visit her family), it was brief and felt awkward, she spoke a lot about her future plans, and described a life that I didn’t feel I fit into. The only thing I think has changed is that she has made 3 new friends at her work. She is very active with them. The only time I’ve ever been involved with them all was when I planned her birthday day out 2 years ago.
My fiancé thinks the relationship has always been heavy effort on my side with little back from her but personally I don’t really agree. She and he get on well.
At the time I was first engaged she was sure fire going to be my MOH, but now I don’t even know if she qualifies as a bridesmaid, she’s hardly a part of my life. I love her to bits but I don’t know if I’m just going to be clinging to a fading friendship and look back on wedding photos at a friend that’s no longer in my life, or could it be the thing that brings us closer again? She recently asked me if I’d got my dress yet, so I’m pretty sure she’s aware of her likely downgrade from MOH and has made no effort to change that.
Sorry for the long post, any advice is greatly appreciated for this lonely gal x