After Party... who did you invite?

In the lobby of our hotel/adjacent to their bar. Bridal party and their dates and others staying at that hotel, in our age group. We wanted to take the time to talk, more than to drink. We did not host; in fact, only a few bought a drink. We had already hosted an open bar, at the wedding reception.

Wow, that sounds like a double wedding expense. We are having an after party at our hotel where we have a room block. However, we are only providing late night snacks, beer and wine. Not another menu of food. Our wedding reception also ends at 10 p.m., so I'm not sure how much help I am on advice. I can tell you that most of the guests will just want to go home. We are inviting back our closest friends and younger cousins/family. Most of the aunts and uncles will probably just want to go home after a wedding. You really can't "exclude" anyone ... I guess the best you can do is estimate how many will be coming back and plan your 2nd menu from there. For us, we are just making an announcement that anyone who wants to come back to the hotel to continue the celebration is welcome to come to such and such address (where the hotel is) and from there we are just "estimating" who will actually come.

Ours will be at the hotel where we have the room block. There’s a really nice bar/pub and they have reserved the side room for our guests. I am inviting everyone but considering its from 11:30-2AM. I doubt most of the older folks will come and it will likely be those staying at the hotel and my wedding party.

Our ceremony/reception is also on a Saturday and is from 12:30-6pm. We are planning to have an after party at the hotel where our guests are staying. We are only inviting hotel guests, since most of our guests are OOT and a lot are family, close friends or in the bridal party. It will be a way for us to spend a little extra time with OOT family and friends. We are probably providing light snacks (cheese, veggies, salad) and roasting marshmallows for s'mores at the fire pit at the hotel. We are not doing an open bar though.

I have been to an after party like the one you are describing. The bride and groom verbally invited people after the wedding. I think everyone was invited. It was at a bar and probably 20% of their guests went, mostly OOT friends and their immediate family.

My FH has been adamant as well. Question, are you looking to do this right after? I wanted to take a nap and then go out at night but he wants to keep partying right after. Normally, when we go to after parties after the wedding its the younger crowd. My dad is a partier though so he will come I'm sure lol ETA: We are not hosting it. People will pay for their own drinks and etc.

I think we'll probably do one. Haven't worked out the logistics yet. I would envision the wedding party and their dates (20) plus a few friends from college and out of town cousins around my age. So I would guess 20-30 people. I was thinking we would just spread the word through word of mouth and whoever came would be fine. I wouldn't expect a big crowd as we're having open bar at the reception and reception won't end until 10 or 11 so I think most people will be beat. But just wanted to have a small get together with my VIPs or anyone that wasn't ready for the party to end. I don't think we'd be hosting unless we have some type of budget windfall (doubtful)

Lol to clarify, it will only be wine & beer open bar for 3 hours which is $30/pp and light snacks.. Mac & cheese balls, chicken fingers & like wings. Personally I dont really care if we have one or not, I'm going to be up from SUPER early getting ready with my girls so I know I'm going to be exhausted but FH feels like the wedding ends so early he doesnt want to stop the party.

I tried for the hotel that we have our block at but from the friends we spoke to none of them are going to book a room and when I asked the hotel about lounge areas the really dont have anything that isnt Super expensive.

Yeah, I guess we should be inviting everyone lol. I know most of our guest (older family members wont come) I just wish I could have an RSVP for it like we do for the rest of the wedding. But I know its going to be a long day for most people.

Agree, I think you have to invite everyone, but not everyone will come. We're planning to have an "after party," but we're just directly our friends and family to our favorite bar after the reception, we're not providing the food and drinks for them again.

Our venue is just keeping the space open until 1 so anyone who wants to stay past 10 is welcome to do so. All the official reception things will be over by 9:30 or so. We are having a late night snack, but not drinks. The bar will be open, but for cash drinks. I've always gotten the impression that after parties weren't meant to drive the cost up very much. I expect at least 75% of our guests to be gone home by that point though.

VMDIZZLE - we did an early wedding b/c at the time we were booking the church was only available for early ceremonies. a year later that has changed but now its too late to change the time for everything else. Yeah I guess we could easily not host, My only concern would be being able to have a reserved space. We definitely have to do more looking into it.

Kristina- We were thinking about starting it at around 7/8pm to give people a chance to change if they wanted to. Most of the people we KNOW would come like in Brooklyn, inbetween the two locations so Im sure they would want to "refresh" themselves. but idk. this is starting to feel like planning a 2nd wedding. lol

moco2016 - we would probably just do word of mouth, letting everyone know. And I'm starting to feel after reading everyones responses that maybe we dont have to host, just get the space, so maybe that will make things a little easier.. lol I really want to just pass this off to FH since it's his bright idea, but I know he wont do anything

My FH is being a pain in my ass about this part lol I really want to refresh after. I have a year to get him to come around lol I told my FH he could plan an after party and if he doesn't do anything then perfect! I could just go back to the hotel lol also what about doing it word of mouth and an evite.

Yes, I am not technically "hosting" but just inviting everyone to come by if they'd like. I might see about getting a few late night snacks put out but we will not be paying for drinks. After the wedding recpection I AM DONE... lol wanna come hang out, cool.

Kathryn - That is pretty much exactly how I feel. I just feel bad because FH is doing/giving me Everything I want for the wedding & this is one of the only things he's expresses he wants so I'm trying to make it happen.

All of this might be moot if we end up flying out for our honeymoon the next morning Super Early, which looking at Flight $$ might be the case. But I want to make sure I'm doing my part to make the day what he wants as much as what I do

Our reception ends at 1:30 am and our best man is hosting an unofficial after party in his suite at the hotel where our block is. Anyone staying at the hotel and whoever wants to come is invited. I am not sure how many people will actually still be functioning to continue partying, but the option will be there.

The following day there will be an official after party hosted at my parents' places for out of towners and close family but everyone is welcome.

Our "after party" is more of a "hey, we're going to the hotel bar" after the reception ends at midnight. We're not hosting anything because we are out of money.

I've never been to a hosted after party for a wedding. That is really nice of you to consider, but as a guest I'd never expect it! Honestly after church and afternoon weddings I'm too tired to go to the after party even though it's not super late in the day. I've only attended after parties when we were staying at the hotel it was hosted at, or if we felt we didn't get enough time to talk or party directly with the bride and groom and still weren't too tired to do so. It is good to think about having a reserved space or at least giving the management or bartender a heads up that you plan to come after a wedding. I have seen hotel bartenders get really grumpy that we were there late because they wanted to close early.

We are having an after party at the Margaritas that is attached to the hotel. We invited everyone. We won't be paying for anyones drinks but we will be buying everyone some late night apps. I think you have to invite everyone. It would be awkward and rude if one of your guests mentioned it to someone that you didn't invite.

Jade- My FH was insistent on it too. I ended up canceling my original room block so we could use the one with the bar in it... I imagine we will all be so tired but whatever. If people want to continue the party, they can.

Yes to having an after party and we're inviting everyone! This has become very common with my friends. Every "after party" I've been to though the guests were responsible for buying their own food & drinks, it's more of a "if you want to keep partying after the reception we will all meet here"

I would just reserve a place at the bar and then let everyone buy their own drinks. We went to a daytime wedding that had a cash bar (we were all angry). But then they decided to HOST an after-party with a party bus and bottle service. We thought it was nuts! Everyone was fully expecting to pay for our own drinks at the bar so thought it was strange they paid (and also were skimpy at the actual wedding). If I were you, I'd use whatever money you planned to spend on this after party on the wedding and then just put on your website that everyone will be heading to X bar after the reception if they wish to continue partying. No one will expect you to pay.