After Party... who did you invite?

Also having an after party and doing what others have mentioned. We're planning on ordering various types of apps for each table we have reserved as well as a lounge area we reserved (in the bar of a Hyatt hotel near where we live that we really like, and they have live music) and we are considering buying a bottle of champagne for each table as well. Guests will be responsible for going up to the bar and buying their own drinks though. As far as who to invite...I think you have to invite everyone. We didn't put any formal information about it on the wedding invitation, but we did direct everyone to our website on an information card that is included and we have an after party section there with all the info (including that it's non-hosted so that they know to expect to buy their own drinks). This way everyone is invited if they've taken the time to view the website. Out of 210 guests we are inviting to our wedding, we really only expect 150-175 to come...and of that, only expect 40-50 to come to the after party, and that might even be on the high side. FH and I probably won't even stay too long really...we'll be so exhausted after a couple of hours I'm sure...if we even last that long!

ETA: we were not charged anything to reserve the space in the bar at the hotel and work with the event manager on it, which I think is awesome! They've been very helpful so far.

Jacqui722 - up until recently neither had I. But we went to a wedding that did, though their after party was in their Apartment complex' "party room" and they just had large sandwiches/chips/snacks and wine & beer. I would LOVE to be able to just do something like that but where we live doesnt have a set up like that.

Melissa - lol I know we have to invite everyone, I guess I was just trying to make it not turn into another wedding reception, trying to see if I could get out of it.. Guess not lol

VMDIZZLE - I'm going to look into just doing snack reservation, though I feel like the place FH wants it wont let us do that, they are very popular & can get busy easily on a nice day.

Kathryn - Thats the thing that Sucks about having out wedding in Brooklyn the hotels that have lounges/bars are pretty far from our venue and/or are SUPER expensive. The one we did our block at is close but doesnt have a lounge, so that sucks. Maybe I'll look into it more to see if theres something else we can work out

Lynnie - Yeah, I think that I'm going to try to convince FH that we should do things. Hopefully he goes for it.

Natasha - The money is not the issue/concern; our reception is full premium open bar, we wouldn't dream of doing anything less. FH wants the damn After Party & thinks we should be hosting it, which is nice yes, And in our budget, its just a pain in the ass to plan on top of everything else.

Summer - Thanks, that's helpful. I think I'm going to see if I can find a different hotel with a bar situation that we could use for an after party.

Thanks Ladies! I really appreciate all your help & suggestions!

I have a bunch of people I want to invite to my wedding but obviously can't treat them to reception dinner but since our venue is a bar/lounge we will have a cash bar with music playing setup as an after party. I hope friends will join us if they want too.

We thought about doing it, but we ended up just having the reception go later. I feel like if you're going to have something like that, you need to invite everyone. Older couples/people with little ones usually won't come or they won't come for very long. I also don't think its necessary to have an open bar. You already paid for the reception, I think that's plenty.

We're inviting everyone to ours (going to a bar/bowling alley) but only expecting younger people to come out. Ours is also later, our reception ends at 11pm, heading to the place right after that.

Yeah, we know we have to invite everyone, I guess I was more asking to see if there was a way around it lol, since we know it would mostly be our cousins our age & friends who would stay.

I've explained it to FH that we dont have to host but he's pretty set on the location and if we do it there we have to do a min 3 hour open bar for at least 25 people in order to have the space reserved.

I'm going to look into re-doing our hotel block to see if we can find a Hotel with a bar that we can use instead.

Like Melissa and VM said, it's totally ok to let people pay for their own drinks at the after party. I've been to several of these as guests and we were happy to buy our own drinks and wouldn't have even considered the bride and groom spending more money that night.

People usually invite all the guests in their age group, usually friends, siblings, and cousins. Parents, aunts, and uncles will, of course, be aware that it's happening but will see it as a time for the "young people" to cut loose and party.

During the wedding I would have the DJ mention that the bride and groom are not ready to end their party and will be headed to this bar after the reception. Bride and Groom would like to welcome anyone to join them at this location. Don't mention that it's hosted or there is food this way you will only end up with the people who really want to go. People will find out food and drink is being hosted when they get there

My wedding was from 3pm-8pm. I didn't have a after party. To be honest I was to tired anyway. I was up from 6am day of. I did host a BBQ at my house the next day for the out of towners and anyone else that wanted to come. Maybe you can do something like that.

Julia T - I would love to, but living in Brooklyn we dont have a backyard that we could host a bbq, though I really wish we did! lol I also feel like I'm going to be exhausted since I have an early morning of getting ready with the girls, but FH really wants an after party, and since he hasnt really asked for very many things for the wedding, I want to at least try to make it happen.

Also, we might end up leaving for our honeymoon the following day, so we really wont be able to hang out with friends then.

We'll see, I told FH that he really needs to take the reigns for this if he wants an After Party, because now that I'm booking honeymoon stuff, I really dont have time. so we'll see, he might just give it up lol

You mentioned that the location you want to do the after party at has a 3 hour 25 person minimum... Would they be willing to change it to a certain dollar amount for the 3 hours instead of going by head count? That way you don't have to have an actual list of who's coming.