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Devoted August 2022

After the wedding

Bride2Be, on August 2, 2021 at 7:13 PM Posted in Planning 0 12
So my fiancé and I are planning to take a belated honeymoon and our wedding is on a Friday so we figured we would try and do something with our family members who were staying in town for the weekend. He thinks we need to be spontaneous and just figure out what we want to do and just invite people if they want to go and not before they make their own plans. Like if they can go great, if not, then so be it. I think that’s a disaster and we should figure stuff out beforehand and plan and let people know the plans beforehand so they can make their plans around it if they want to go and not just “spring it on them” spontaneously. He thinks that is more stressful and I think the opposite. Our guest list is 200 people and idk what we should do because I definitely don’t want to plan another event on top of our wedding so what do y’all think we should do? Have any of y’all done something similar?

12 Comments

Latest activity by Bride2Be, on August 3, 2021 at 10:10 AM
  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    The problem is with 200 people unless you plan another event, you're likely not going to be able to involve everyone.

    You could put something on your website or in the program or have your officiant announce that "on Saturday the newlyweds will be at (place) at (approximate time) if people want to join them"

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  • B
    Devoted August 2022
    Bride2Be ·
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    Ok so basically we should just figure out where we want to go and just have it spread by word of mouth so it’s more low key?
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  • S
    Super September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    Are you trying to do something with your whole guest list? Or just close friends and family that are coming from out of town? I agree that planning something with 200 people would be stressful and should just be a by word of mouth thing. But if you’re wanting to do something with a smaller group then I’d say at least have some sort of idea of what you want to do and give all of them a heads up if the plans.
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  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    I think that's probably going to be your best bet for a couple reasons - 1 - you don't want to plan another event and 2 - if you have it be casual and word of mouth, people won't expect it to be hosted; whereas if you make a point to invite people, they may figure you're paying

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  • B
    Devoted August 2022
    Bride2Be ·
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    Yeah we definitely don’t want to do something with everyone. Just whoever wants to go. My fiancé thinks we should just decide what we want to do, not tell anyone until the day after and say oh this is what we are doing! Whoever wants to join can, and if their plans don’t allow them to join, then oh well. But I feel like it’s rude to not tell anyone in case they would have wanted to hang out with us more after flying in from out of state. But he thinks that’s too stressful for us to plan stuff because then it becomes a whole other hassle and he likes to do things spur of the moment. I’m more of a planner
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  • B
    Devoted August 2022
    Bride2Be ·
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    Yeah I don’t want to pay for another thing after paying for a whole wedding lol but you don’t think it’s rude to spring it onto people who flew in and who have already made their travel plans do you? I feel like it is and he doesn’t.
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  • Ariel
    Devoted October 2021
    Ariel ·
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    I’ve been to a few weddings where the day after the couple said we will be at this bar/restaurant at this time. Stop by if you want. I’ve also seen post wedding picnics in the park.


    I’m also having a Friday wedding. We are going to tell our guest we will be at so and so place on Saturday from 11am-3Pm following the wedding. The place is a lawn with food trucks and wine tastings but doesn’t require reservations and is open seating. Whoever is around can stop by. We will probably put it on the wedding website but we don’t want people to plan around it so we will add it few weeks prior to the wedding.
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  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    The thing is that people who are going to leave the Saturday after the wedding are going to do so regardless (probably) because (probably) they're not going to want to spend another night in a hotel just to hang out at a non-hosted event, plus having to get back for work, etc. - even with Sunday to recoup.

    If you have a wedding website, you can definitely put it on there, that way people know ahead of time that hanging out the next day with y'all will be an option - then there's a head's up (for travel plans), but not any "expectations" (for budget).

    FWIW, you have a while to think on it, and decide exactly what you want, since you're a year out.

    H and I decided to go much more low-key - we had our parents over on Sunday morning (Saturday wedding) to open gifts, and we hosted - got the stuff for mimosas, some really good coffee, and got quiche (from the caterer - she brought them par-baked and we finished them in the oven) - BUT we left for our honeymoon that Monday, which makes a big difference.

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  • B
    Devoted August 2022
    Bride2Be ·
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    Oh that’s a great idea! I like the idea of adding it to the website closer to the wedding! And giving a general time block! Thank you for this!
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  • M
    Expert September 2021
    Marianne ·
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    FH and I are also getting married on a Friday - FH's family are all local and see each other quite often but my family is coming from all over and we only really see each other at weddings and funerals. My parents are hosting a brunch for our out of town guests Saturday morning (just a large group reservation at a restaurant near the hotel) and spreading the word to estimate how many people to put down for the reservation. They've already gotten a couple of declines from people who are making other plans - I'd imagine if they didn't organize something in advance, everyone would've already made plans! Long story short, if you want to get together with people after the wedding, definitely plan something, even if it's just "we'll be at this place at this time, stop by if you want!"

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  • B
    Devoted August 2022
    Bride2Be ·
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    Thank you for your comment! I think it’s a great idea that both of us would like that we can plan something and just tell people we will be at x location from this time to that time. That way it’s easy for both of us
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  • B
    Devoted August 2022
    Bride2Be ·
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    Gotcha gotcha. That makes sense. Our parents aren’t the type to want to hang around and watch us open gifts lol but I think my FH wants to go somewhere fun like a bar or country dancing spot and I’ll just have to figure out what makes the most sense!
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