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Michelle
Just Said Yes April 2015

After wedding dinner

Michelle, on July 19, 2021 at 2:41 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
My daughter and her fiancé are having a very small wedding (her 2nd, his first) about 20-25 people are invited.
They have a very tight budget, which they are paying for on their own. They want to have dinner at a restaurant that is located in the casino but don’t think they can pay for it. Would it be rude (a faux pas) to include in the invitation “in lieu of gifts, the bride and groom ask that you pay for your own dinner.”? (if this is ok, what would you suggest as wording it) They/We are looking into an inexpensive dinner that they can pay for, but would like advice on this.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Willow, on July 20, 2021 at 1:20 AM
  • Lauren
    Expert July 2021
    Lauren ·
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    Congrats to your daughter! Unfortunately, this would be considered very rude. It should not cost the guests any money to attend the wedding itself. If they choose to get a hotel or something, that is a bit different. But the party itself should be free since they are there to celebrate the couple.


    They should either find a different restaurant or they would have to further cut their guest list.
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  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
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    I agree with Lauren 100%, it would be extremely rude to have guests pay for their meal. You don't think they can afford it, so you don't know - which means there is a possibility they can. But if they can't they should look for other options.

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    Yes, that would be rude. I recommend the couple do whatever they can either to choose a celebration they can pay for, or reduce their guest list to a point that makes hosting within their budget.

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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    Unfortunately, this would be the ultimate faux pas. Their best options are to either cut their guest list to a number that they can properly host, or to choose a most budget-friendly restaurant that they can afford.

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  • C
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    That would be very rude. I would suggest a more casual venue that they can afford to host all of their guests or elope.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    That would not be OK. The reception is a thank you for guests for attending the ceremony. The guests should pay for nothing. If your daughter and her FI can't afford the event, they can scale down or elope.

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Yes, it’s very rude. They can elope, or have an afternoon ceremony with a “cake & punch” brief reception after.
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    That is not ok. Never take gifts for granted or expect them. Don't make guests pay for themselves at an event largely outside of their control
    • Reply

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