I'm coming to vent and maybe for a bit of advice.
This is super long, sorry for the rant, but there's no way to tl;dr this.
MoH really pissed off most of my guests at my wedding, namely Husbands immediate with how she treated them. I wasn't made aware until after the wedding how most people felt, I also was slightly offended at her speech. Yet, I thought I was overreacting at the time because I was already annoyed with her throughout the process of planning my wedding. She told me I was stressing her out but I asked how I could make it better and I literally asked nothing of her, she took over things and I even told her at times to back off and that I had things handled because she'd complain along the way when I did cave and let her do something.
I guess I could give a little background on our relationship. She and I have known each other for about 17-ish years, met in middle school. MoH didn't have a lot of friends and a lot of people thought she was overtly loud an obnoxious... she didn't grow out of that aspect. I care for her like a sister, but I feel like I overlook a lot of her faults and she always finds reasons to fault me or make me feel like I'm the bad guy and she's the victim. I don't think she does it on purpose, but she really hurts my feelings a lot and says things that I don't think she should. I've even told her on plenty of occasions about how I feel, as bottling it up doesn't help anyone and I'm an adult and like to work through my issues instead of run.
My issue is -- I can't keep looking the other way or making excuses for her, to others; it's alarming how many people cannot stand her, to the point that I don't know how to feel about it.
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I had even invited her on my Honeymoon because we had someone from out of country coming in that we invited, as well (he was a groomsman). We thought it'd be rude to have someone come in and then us leave rather than offering out the idea of them attending with us and they accepted. I thought it'd be a blast and so did my Husband, to have more than just us on a trip; we've been together almost a decade and done 2 vacations where it was just us and thought it'd be fun to have some others cause we'd always talked about it. I know it seems weird to do that on a honeymoon, but we rarely get an opportunity to do vacations (2 in almost 10 years is nothing... to some) and didn't know when we'd be able to do it again and hadn't seen the friend from over seas in almost 2 years. It'd be silly not to try and spend more time, if we could.
Some things that she did -- we went to Disney (something we planned for a year).
We told her: "If you're getting a button, get 1st visit". She's like "WELL MY BDAY WAS A WEEK AGO." And we're like "No, get 1st Visit" Super nice way of saying - 'This is our honeymoon, not your birthday', trip. What does she do next day? Get's a Birthday Button. Husband was livid because she got "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" every like 15 - 20 feet and people would look at our buttons and brush over. I told MoH 2 days later to leave the button at the room because it's not why we came. She did, but I don't feel I should have had to tell her and it made me feel like a bad guy.
At Not So Scary Halloween (not cheap, btw) she told Husband that it was a waste of time to 'trick or treat' and get candy when we were there to 'ride rides when there was less of a wait time' and asked like 15 times in the first 30 minutes "DID THEY SAY HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE HERE?". No. No they didn't. Disney doesn't disclose that, but tyvm for thinking what we enjoy doing is a waste of time. She RUINED NSS for us, as we felt that her comment was unwarranted.
Fast Passes I booked were complained about by her alone, the over seas person was just happy to be with us and experience Disney. "Why is this at this time, that at that time. Why not switch. They're x place and x area." Well, fast passes only work when there's availability and I got what I could for rides that are super hard to get on, so I'm just proud I got something. Plus, we planned all this out 90 days beforehand.
She'd talk to us like she ran Disney and that we were children or stupid. She'd constantly walk ahead to the point she'd get lost in crowds, cut off people rudely, and bee-line to pin trading... being super rude if she didn't see something "nah, nothing is worth it here, they're all crap". Oh, okay. I didn't see anything and all you really have to say is "thank you!" to the cast member and go on your way. She'd also have to put make-up on every morning (being super loud while we were all sleeping) and spent like an hour and a half taking a bath or shower at night so no one else could.
I did end up approaching her about how she made me feel, come the day before she had to leave. I had enough. I got greeted with: "I made a lot of sacrafices for you on this trip, I feel like I care more" (I did ask her why she felt that way but zero of her reasons made me sympathetic or double think that 'maybe I did'). Oh. Okay. Sorry you feel this way about my honeymoon that I had to get a loan out for and scrape by to get spending money. I feel like I need to add here that she goes to Disney once or twice a year and travels out of State a minimum of 5 - 8 times a year... I've had a vacation 2 times in 10 years and HM made 3.
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All in all I ended up being super happy that she left half way through our honeymoon before we went over to Universal. I feel like a bad friend but my Husband says that she treats me like crap and I let her get away with too much and even our over seas friend said that he'd never put up with what she did. He was even interested in dating her before he took the trip and basically told me: "she is too high maintenance/anxiety/stress, I wouldn't ever"... and I felt bad because she shot herself in the foot because she was interested too. Idk how to feel or if I even want to put as much effort into a relationship as I once did, with her.
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I guess what I'm asking is --
Am I overreacting, is my Husband and over seas friend right? I'm really at a loss on how to feel and where to go from here. It seems like I've been the only person willing to defend her and stand by her side while she pisses everyone else off. Sometimes I don't see it, but I also just feel like I'm either so used to it or I care too much to fault her for certain things that others won't put up with.