Afternoon tea/heavy hors d'oeuvres/dessert Reception

If you did this with a 1-4 timeline I'd see nothing wrong with it. Maybe add a little more savory food, such as finger sandwhiches (traditionally part of afternoon tea).

You need either more food or to end earlier. That is not substantial enough of a menu for your timeline.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not wanting a traditional sit down dinner reception. I’m having a cocktail party style...but we’re also having a full dinner buffet because we’re hosting past 5pm and don’t want hungry guests.

If you want an honest opinion, your menu sounds more like a brunch than a late afternoon/early evening menu. I’d add some additional items to your “hors d’oeurves” section. What you have listed is more like snack trays. Generally that category is more savory options than finger sandwiches.

Nothing you’ve listed is substantial enough to count as a meal. If you start at 2 and end at 5 this plan is fine. If you want to keep your timeline, you need way more substance- perhaps a carving station and pasta station. Also, I don’t know what you consider “recent decades” but my grandparents served a full meal at their reception 62 years ago because it fell during dinner time.

I like a previous Poster’s suggestion to say “Light refreshments to follow” since these are not heavy apps. Ideally, you end things by 5 so people can grab dinner later.

Just jumping onboard to say you should either a) start earlier and end earlier, around 5 no later than 530; or b) cut out some of the sugary desserts (you have a lot) and replace them with heavier appetizers.

If you start your wedding at 230 or 345, people will have likely ate lunch sometime between 12-130 and will need to have a full dinner eventually. Realistically people who eat a big lunch before your wedding will still need a full meal way before 7 or 8. Snacking on vegetables and croissants can only last so long. Also you will likely start to run out of food and people will get hungry.

To answer your question, yes, I would attend the wedding of a close friend or family member if they listed “light refreshments to follow” on a wedding invitation but if I found out the bride and groom expected it to go until 7 or 8, I would leave early as soon as I got hungry for a real meal.

View Quoted Comment Everyone’s friends and families come from different backgrounds so there technically is no norm for anyone to follow.

My parents had a full dinner meal at their wedding in the 80’s, my grandparents had a full dinner meal at their wedding in the 60’s, and I know for a fact my great grandparents served some chicken dish at her wedding in the late 30’s because my grandmother is always telling a funny story my great grandma used to always tell her about it. Hosting your guests well is not a new concept or a “recent trend.” If anything, guests were hosted better decades ago and people are constantly trying to bail out on proper hosting today because “it’s different now.” I’m not saying you’re doing that but just pointing out your reasoning makes no sense

View Quoted Comment See the thing is if I had to drive back home after and I was still hungry then I would be upset that I probably would have to stop and eat. I would support my good friend and anyway I can but with your menu choice it's just not going to work with what you are trying to do. We could all agree that if you are going to have anything at dinner time then serve dinner or heavy apps which could could cost just as much as dinner. No one is saying you have to serve a 3 course meal or go over your intended budget. Make the wedding earlier or served something where your guests will be satisfied. They are traveling and that cost money so I think it's best to atleast have an appropriate menu for the time you want to host them. Hope everything works out.

View Quoted Comment Everyone understood. They just didn't agree. There's a difference.

ASP1993 - I think what some folks seem to saying is this: If you plan on serving your above mentioned foods, please tell your guests you are serving "light refreshments to follow" as it is a norm in most circles to serve a meal or tell people there won't be a meal.

"My question is: How would you feel attending a wedding in a woodland setting that has a SLIGHT enchanted forest theme that served an afternoon tea/heavy hors d'oeuvres/dessert style menu? "

To answer this: I would feel great about it, it is a wonderful theme. I would suggest lessening the dessert options as you have plenty and beefing up the food or letting people know the food it light, because it is.

As a guest I would be disappointed if I was paying to come and stay overnight somewhere and I wasn't even being provided with a full meal. I am not sure why you don't see this as expected but I would cut the guest list or cut the budget elsewhere to provide a full meal. I agree you shouldn't go into debt for a wedding but there are ways to do that and still provide a full meal.

For your menu, I would cut the hot chocolate bar, pies, and cookies, sangrias. I would want some hot food. It sounds like you are picking most of this up and serving yourselves. I would hire a professional to make and serve some hot apps - spring rolls, mini quiches, puff pastry bites, mini meatballs, that type of thing and maybe add a carving station.

View Quoted Comment My reasoning was to do something fun and different than the norm that my family and friends would enjoy. It wouldn’t even be much cheaper than the sit down meal we were considering but would go with our “theme.” Thanks for the suggestions.

View Quoted Comment Yes, that’s why I was thinking maybe we should have more. Thanks!

View Quoted Comment Yes, we would would tell them as I mentioned. And if we go with it, I think more savory items would be more filling! Thank you!

😂 I don’t think they have, that’s exactly what I had in mind! We would have plenty to go around. Thanks, Janet!

I browsed are you having a bar I would be very disappointed if their wasn't a bar have you thought of brunch for a wedding,? I am having a brunch wedding and it's saving plenty. I'm coming around 60.00 per person and having mimosas coffee bar as well

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She literally says in the original post:
Tea/Lemonade/Water/Hard Cider and Beer/Red sangria/White sangria

Yep, this is a "light refreshments" style of menu. It would be fine in the afternoon for a max of 3 hours (1-4pm or 2-5pm) without crossing over into dinner. If you want your reception to end around 7 or 8, you need to serve a full meal. That doesn't mean it has to be a traditional, plated meal. You can do stations with dinner options that are much heavier than the appetizer style foods on your current menu. And please stop blaming the "wedding industry" for the requirement to serve a meal at a meal time. This has nothing to do with the wedding industry. It is basic etiquette. If you invite people over to your house at dinner time, you serve them dinner. It's pretty simple. When cake & punch style receptions were more common, they were usually held in the afternoon and they were short. But dinner wedding receptions have been done for decades. My parents served a full dinner at their wedding 40 years ago. They are not new.

"In fact, people didn't serve full meals at weddings in the United States until recent decades when the wedding industry took over" -- an exact quote from you. This is not about the wedding industry. This is about serving a MEAL and MEAL TIME. My opinion is not rude and I am not the only one on this thread that expressed that opinion - you just don't want to hear it. I even said that it does not have to be a traditional, plated meal. You can do something different while still serving a full meal. Or you can adjust the length and timing of your reception. But you don't seem to want to do either of those.

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Tea service is meal. Please go to your local fancy hotel, do afternoon tea and come back.