Brace for it, this one is a long rant!
Background
I come from a family where family is everything, it is just my sister and parents and I but we have very good relationships with our extended family (my aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents etc) and we love spending time together, usually over food being typical Europeans. FH also has one sibling (older brother) and his parents, but their extended family are all either dead / live too far away / don't have good relationships and don't speak. For the most part, their extended family is quite distant in both relation and physical location so they really don't have anyone besides the four of them.
His parents met mine 2 years ago and they get along like a house on fire. I also think that his parents appreciate that they now have new 'family' members given they don't really have anyone else besides their sons and granddaughters. His parents live a very long way from us (8 hour drive) so they generally come here once a year or less, and we go there 1-3 times a year. They recently came to see us in August, we've seen them twice since, and they're coming back again this weekend.
Issue
My dad wants to do a homemade burger night and they had the idea to do it this weekend so that we (me, FH and FMIL, FFIL) can join. I asked his parents and they were fine with it. It's nothing fancy, just literally homemade burgers at home. FH is not happy though. He doesn't want to come because he doesn't want to 'eat junk' two days in a row (I'm making roast pork belly on Saturday night). I suggested he bring his own but I knew he was saying that as a cover up because the real issue is he doesn't understand why we have to go to my parents' house with his parents.
Previously when they came in August last year, my parents had them over for breakfast. The year before that, my parents took us all out for dinner. FH said (angrily) this morning "I don't know why every time my parents come over it has to be a spectacle with your parents, can't we just stay home!". This has happened before and last time he apologised.
I think the real issue is that because we don't see them often, he feels like it takes away from his time with them, either that or perhaps he doesn't realise that he's feeling a little jealous perhaps. All we'd be doing on Sunday if we didn't go is stay home and have dinner. I also find it a bit hypocritical because he's playing sport on Sunday and has no problem taking a few hours out of the day to do his own thing, but the thought of us all going to my parents place for a few hours for dinner is such a big deal.
To end: am I the asshole for insisting we go?
