My maid of honor has been stressing me out for various minor reasons lately, but the clincher came earlier this week when she mentioned she wanted blue hair for the wedding. I asked if she could please keep it to normal colors since it would clash. She wasn't very happy about this and asked if she could do red (quite a bright strong red, not a natural red) to which I also said no for the sole fact that I am going to do my hair in red (it's our wedding color) and I wanted mine to stand out. After that she told me if I wanted perfect bridesmaids I should hire them, and that she felt uncomfortable that I was "dictating her appearance".
I felt really crappy after this exchange and I said I would never force her to do things she wasn't uncomfortable with and she didn't have to be a bridesmaid if it made her feel less than awesome. She hasn't spoken to me since. I asked my other bridesmaids, groomsmen (who are close friends of mine) and a few other people to see if I was being the asshole because I know I can get very focused on my plans etc and I would have apologised if I was in the wrong, but they all said it's my wedding and my day and it should look how I want.
So, AITA? I feel really crappy but I don't want a bridesmaid with blue hair and I really wanted mine to be something special. (I'm also not from USA so I'm interested to see if there's any cultural differences here)