Aita?

Sorry just wanted to come back and add... she doesn't need to have done something different with her hair in the past to want to do something different with her hair now?

I'm not sure why she asked but I'd also venture to say it was more of a nicer way to inform you? Again... her hair color literally does not matter when it comes to your wedding.

I don't think YTA but I still think that the bride isn't the person to decide for somebody how their hair or nails or makeup should look like. If the is wearing bright colors on her hair, then it's her thing. I wouldn't tell my bridesmaids to change their hair color just because they don't fit into my expectations. And how could she outshine you? You are the bride, it is already your day, the attention will be yours!

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In my country, the bride does make those decisions, and we also pay for things like hair, makeup and nails, so it seems to be a lot different to americans

Update to this: She got pregnant and will be due in January. Since she had extreme health issues with her last pregnancy I have decided to replace her with my sister. It's just not something I can risk. She also said she was ok with whether I kept her on or not so she won't be upset about being swapped out.

My sister was super excited about all the things I've picked and choices I've made so I'm feeling really good about the decision.

Now I don’t think the bride should be super nit picky and/or tell all the bridesmaids to color there hair a certain way. I don’t even think a bride should tell them to style hair a certain way, but I really think dying hair a bold/not-natural color like that is wrong to do without the bride’s approval. I’m sure others will say something about how much do you really value your friendship with the MOH and yeah that can be a factor but the reverse should also be a factor. Every one of my girls have been all ears to hear how I want my day to go, saying they’d wear whatever and do whatever (obviously with some exceptions but they know me well enough to know I wouldn’t ask them to cut their hair off or buy extensions or wear a pink tutu). That’s a real friendship.

I definitely don't think you're in the wrong for having a certain vision of your wedding day and that vision NOT including blue hair on one of your girls. i agree with some others, you can't or shouldn't ask your bridesmaids to change their appearance totally just for your wedding day. However, I am also the type of person that will wear or do whatever my friend, aka the bride, wants. I think it's important that your bridal party feels comfortable (for example, don't make your bridesmaids wear heels if they don't feel comfortable walking in them or something like that), but, they should also consider your tastes and vision in how they look. If her hair is always blue and that's normal for her, I'd expect it to remain that way. But if it's not something she normally does, it doesn't make much sense to me. When it comes to weddings, the day does not matter to anyone else the way it matters to you. Sometimes that's a hard realization for Brides as planning a wedding literally consumes your life. But, remember, she's your friend and there's a reason you wanted her in your wedding to begin with. Maybe try discussing it with her considering her point of view?! And honestly, regardless of how any of your bridesmaid look, do NOT worry about any of them outshining you. Everyone will be looking at you and it will be YOUR special day no matter what anyone else does or looks like, so don't stress about that