Alcohol at LDS reception

So, you and your FH are LDS, but some/most of your guests are not?

Have alcohol for your guests. You don't have to drink but your guests will want to.

This is an UO around here, but I absolutely do not think you need to serve alcohol if you and FH oppose it for religious reasons. Have FH talk to him mom and tell her that, due to your religious beliefs, there will not be alcohol.

His mother is correct. You need to properly host the wedding. Beer and wine are OK.

If part of your guests drink, then it's rude not to provide alcohol.

Beer and wine is fine.

In my experience at other weddings, people are miserable at dry weddings. I've even seen (multiple times) people leave the wedding and come back with alcohol. If you are dead set against alcohol at your wedding, just explain this to his mother and say you hope she respects your joint decision. If not, you can tell her that if she wants alcohol at the wedding she will have to pay for it because you are personally against providing it.

We are not having any alcohol because it is 2000 dollars more to

do so. It is 2k just for

the setup and off duty

police officer. We

would still have to

purchase the alcohol.

If you are dead set against hosting your guests at your wedding, elope.

Have your own no alcohol reception. Other family members can host their own some other time. I know a lot of LDS people. You can't even have a coke or coffee.

Nancy, you can have coke if you are LDS. Diet coke is a huge thing for a ton of LDS people.

OP, are you getting married in a temple or civil ceremony?

It's your wedding. Do what works for you. Don't let anyone guilt you into anything you aren't comfortable with. If your guests have any respect for you and your stance then hopefully they will understand. I don't understand where some of these proper etiquette rules came from. Some of them to me, I think depend on where you are from.

@Amy, you're just being cheap. Push back your wedding so you can properly host your guests - which means providing at least beer and wine.

OP, I do think you need to provide beer and wine for your guests that do drink.

FMIL is right

I understand the sentiment of PPs when they say it's rude to not have alcohol, since you're not "properly hosting your guests." I agree to an extent; I think it is rude to have a dry or cash bar wedding simply for budgetary reasons. But I think that this is an exception, since you appear to oppose alcohol on religious grounds. I do not think that etiquette trumps your religious beliefs.

That said, I'm assuming here that it would be a violation of LDS teaching to serve/buy alcohol? Because if it's okay to serve it, but not personally consume it, I think maybe you should do beer and wine.

ETA: Also, PP are definitely right when they say people don't enjoy dry weddings as much. So keep that in mind, too.

This is an LDS wedding. You don't have to serve alcohol, and nobody will be expecting it, especially if you're having a temple wedding (I'm guessing you aren't having your reception at the church or in the stake house otherwise this wouldn't even be a conversation). Your FH needs to explain to his mom that you will not be providing alcohol, why you will not be providing alcohol, and then stand his ground. Honestly, I'm surprised she's even pushing it when she knows you are active LDS members.

Just because you don't serve it does by no way means your guests won't bring it. I supplied wine at my first wedding as my moh was an alcoholic and I thought this would keep her from getting plastered on hard liquor. I was very wrong, she brought her own. Be a good host and provide alcohol for those who want it.

@Amy Ah, so we're resorting to the cheap defense again. It's only a matter of time on all these threads. Why don't you just get rid of the cake?

Your FMIL is right; she's not being 'forceful', she is thinking of the guests coming who don't think that being Christian means not drinking. For the record? That is most Christians.

If YOU don't want to drink, then don't drink; it's pretty simple. But have at least wine and beer for those who do.

The respect goes both ways, sorry. You respect the guests you've invited who would like a glass of wine or three. And while you're at it, you might reconsider why your religion has told you wine is bad. It's all over the Bible and the dictates against drinking were created by humans, not dictated by God.

There is no such thing as an LDS wedding unless all of your guests are LDS. It sounds like the groom and his family are not.

Do whatever you want to do. Forget the haters, this day is about YOU AND YOUR FH! If they want to drink, tell them it's BYOB. It's not rude that you don't have thousands of dollars to throw around for something you won't participate in. If people are mad, tell them to have a separate afterparty at a bar, or have cocktail hour at a bar while you're taking pictures. Your responsibility is to have the best time you can, not please every single person. You'll drive yourself crazy

AL, she said the groom is LDS. And yeah, that means it's an LDS wedding. I feel like you don't know what that means, really.

OP, I will say I'm LDS, so is H, and so is our families so this wasn't an issue for us. But, I remember my parents having dinner parties when I was younger and they always bought wine if there were people who were not LDS that were attending. I think getting a bartender to serve beer and wine would not be a huge deal and it would appease your MIL.