Alcohol at LDS reception

Swin, you know I love ya, and I respect you. That should go without saying.

But at the same time, these are all human created parameters. Some of our greatest writers, artists and composers have served the divine without giving up coffee and alcohol.

If it works for you, that's totally fine, but the point of a wedding is hosting. And very often, that includes things you don't personally take in; meat, liquor, music, dancing. In the name of hospitality.

Every LDS person that I know (mostly runners) are caffeine fanatics.

Oh, I agree about the hosting. I think if there are solely LDS guests at the wedding, like mine, no alcohol is the obvious choice because no one drinks it. But, if you have people of other backgrounds and beliefs at the wedding, there should be some alcohol for them. It's proper hosting. I kind of see it as when I was in HS and all my friends and I would go to starbucks. I'd get a cream based drink, and they'd get coffee, and it was okay. It's one of those things that if I don't do it, I just won't drink that thing, but I won't deny others that opportunity.

Its youre wedding. If you dont want alcohol, dont have it. You're not obligated to supply it. Im not having it either since most of my family doesnt drink.

So if I understand correctly, it would be okay for someone who is LDS to serve alcohol at a wedding where not everyone is LDS.

In that case OP, I think you should hire a bartender and serve beer, wine and non-alcoholic mixed drinks that everyone can enjoy, like Swin suggested.

Personally, if I went to a wedding where the bride and groom were LDS, I would not expect for there to be alcohol. But if there was I would be pleasantly surprised and thankful that the hosts thought of their friends and family who do drink alcohol.

I normally would say yes definitely to alcohol at a wedding. But if both the bride and groom are active LDS then I agree with no alcohol. Not drinking alcohol is a central tenet in the Mormon faith. You wouldn't expect your devout Jewish friends to serve pork or shellfish.

Sorry, didnt read the whole thread. Somone want to fill me in?

Okay, Karie. I'll fill you in: There's 75 comments. Go read them.

You need to have beer and wine.

@Karie, or you could just read the thread.

For religious/cultural reasons, as a guest I would respect hosts decision to have a dry wedding. However, I would adjust your expectations of your reception. If you are expecting a party dancing atmosphere, that likely will not happen without alcohol if most (or even half) of your guests do drink.

I did not miss the point. I know that the bride and groom didnt want it for religious reasons. I believe the guests would respect that.

Ugh I would not attend if there weren't any alcohol due to religious purposes. Hell I'd attend a dry wedding due to lack of funds and be content before I'd attend a wedding that says "our religion feels that you shouldn't drink either" nope. Your FMIL is right

Zulander? I catered three wedding related parties for one of the most prominent kosher caterers in my area, years ago. We had gigantic displays of shrimp at every one.

@Swin Yesssss

@Swin: You must be a liberal LDS. I checked with a friend of mine whose husband is a bishop.. Sorry no caffeine!

@Nancy D. Actually LDS can http://www.heraldextra.com/news/state-and-regional/lds-church-clarifies-stance-on-caffeine/article_e4e357d0-ba5d-5a6c-8e78-dd1e791a34b2.html

Soooo......we have a theology based on coffee. SMH. Have they banned French fries? Twinkies? Cheetos? Bacon?

@Nancy I love when people try to tell me what my religion teaches.

I think the big question is OP, is every single one of your guests LDS? Because if not, you should have beer and wine. You don't have to drink any, and your fellow LDS members don't have to. But it's polite, and like others have said, proper hosting.

Etiquette rules aren't made up or regional. They've been around forever.

I 100% respect your decision not to serve alcohol. If I was a guest, I wouldn't expect it. But it seems your FMIL knows some guests will be offended or upset or think you are rude if you don't serve alcohol. It sounds like she's trying to help you, and you should take what she's saying into consideration.

What is LDS? Sorry if I sound ignorant