Alcohol at LDS reception

Karie is providing her usual standard of advice (this means do the opposite of her suggestions)

Jane that's been answered like three times already. Read the thread.

I just went to an event hosted by LDS people and they provided alcohol for everyone, even though they didn't drink it.

I feel like if it's a religious reason, you should not provide to others something that is against your religious beliefs. Seeing your guests get drunk at your wedding is only going to upset you and ruin your day. Your guests are there to celebrate your marriage. If they can't celebrate sober for one night, that's their problem.

Stacy, plenty of people in this very thread have said "I am LDS and we provided alcohol" or "I went to an LDS wedding and there was alcohol."

@ALC right... but the original poster has clearly stated that it isn't an option. If you have been reading, there are also different classes of standards too... for caffeine, against it...you wouldn't expect alcohol at a Muslim wedding, would you? Why should LDS be any different?

Op, just tell her thank you, but having alcohol at your wedding would upset you and fh. Be honest with her.

There are many legitimate reasons not to have alcohol at a reception. For me, it's that I'm a recovering alcoholic and I KNOW I can't be around people consuming it without being overly tempted. I've never gone to a wedding, including my sister's, where I did not get totally plastered. This is one of the main reasons FH and I chose to have a very small wedding and reception (less than 20 guests) with the whole shebang lasting less than 2 hours. This wedding is about you and your FH. If people are only coming for alcohol, they shouldn't have accepted the invitation in the first place.

It's posts like this that get me riled up.

OP: how do I tell my FMIL I'm having MY DAY.

95% of WW including an LDS: you don't, host better.

5% bad hosts: you do you, boo! You wouldn't expect an Eskimo to serve anything but ice!

OP: no, how do I *tell* her I'm not? Like, what words do I say?

95% of WW: Jesus Christ are we speaking English.

5%: here's a shitty speech to say, or have a cash bar! Everyone loves dry weddings, all 30 min of them!

OP. Swin is literally having an LDS reception with alcohol. Listen. To. Her. Listen to her.

If you cannot have alcohol at your reception (religion, alcoholism recovery), it is OK to elope. Or do what Ann is doing with a 2 hour reception.

Please serve alcohol. Dry weddings are so boring!

Please Stacy. It is totally an option. And we've done many weddings for Muslim clients. Guess what? They all had alcohol of some sort. The RECEPTION is for the GUESTS. What is so hard to understand about that? If you don't want to cater to them, then don't have a reception.

And Ann? Congratulations on your sobriety, but that's not a reason either.

Or you can do what I'm doing and have a small intimate wedding with people who respect your views. No reception, because guess what? My wedding is about me and my fh, not everyone else.

Cash bars are lame. I would rather go to a dry wedding than a cash bar. So yeah, do what you want on your day.

Your wedding is not about you if you've invited someone to it. Sorry.

I invited our parents and that's it. So yes. I'm pretty sure it's about just us.

My choice is not your concern. If my sobriety is endangered by something, I'll be the first to admit I'm being selfish and steer clear of whatever is tempting me. One of the first things anyone talks about when trying to help others to not drink or use drugs is that you don't go to your old party locations thinking that it will be easy to not partake. For me, weddings are huge triggers, so I do what I must. People don't have to come to my wedding. Our parents are supportive and will be there, so that's what is truly important to me. I haven't been sober for long enough to think I could just resist temptation at my own wedding, where my anxiety will be through the roof (another huge temptation).

@Ann, it sounds like you might benefit from pushing your wedding off be a year.

Sobriety cannot be rushed...something I fear my cousin needs to learn.

No. Even if we hadn't already paid 75% down on the chapel and lodging, I'd never push it back any further. This is my and my FH's choice. I don't remember asking for anyone's opinion.

Ann; you put your situation out on a public forum. You're going to get opinions. That's how this works.

I have a good friend from college who is Mormon and doesn't drink, but keeps a stocked bar in his house when he is hosting his friends. He's setting an example as a proper host. Your FMIL is correct.

@Swin. Caffeine is a new thing. Sorry, Mormons don't drink caffeine. They also don't play with cards with faces on the and don't purchase items on Sunday.You must be a new kind of Mormon. I grew up in a huge Mormon town and teach in even a bigger one. Good Luck dear.