Alcohol at LDS reception

Lmaoooooo. I'm so glad this got revived over my comment. Omg. Nancy, just stop. You live and teach with them, but you're not... again. Unbelievable.

Honestly, this is YOUR wedding. Not everyone else's. You decide what you are having. If they don't like it, then that's fine. You do what you are comfortable with. Not them.

JFC Nancy. Was it so important to revive this thread to say that?

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So grateful for Nancy's comments. Seriously. No longer do I have to face the wrath of God because I now understand my religion's beliefs. *chucks out coke*.

Thanks, Nanc. You are a real pal.

Wow. Why should someone, who is religiously opposed to alcohol, be coerced into having it at HER wedding for HER and HER FH? Does WW come with a free high horse or is it part of the grandmother's etiquette book club?

Clap emoji @swin.

I'm with ya sister. No alcohol at my wedding and I don't really care who gossips about it or not because I don't drink and neither does my fiancé due to religion, so why pay thousands for it when you could have an even better honeymoon. Congrats and I hope everything goes smoothly for you!

Yeah, Morgan. Why hosts your guests properly when it's that or a nice honeymoon? Girl, you so GET it. Like, it's YOUR wedding. It's YOUR day. Your guests should just be grateful you invited them to share in YOUR happiness.

I figure if they're really just there for the alcohol that they get for free, then maybe they should feel free to leave and find the local dive bar to get drunk.

Ahhh yes, because that's the ONLY reason people are going to your wedding, to mooch off you.

Oh. Wait a minute. The reception isn't about you. It's a thank you to your guests. So, yeah, they deserve free alcohol and good food. Be a good host, Morg.

I can understand your beliefs. Remember... it is your wedding after all and if your friends and family go, they need to understand your choice not to have alcohol and respect YOUR day. Who cares what others think. I think half of these "rules" are bogus. Some people are so busy trying to please everyone and forget why they are getting married. All that matters in the end is you and your husband.

Yeah I'm not too worried about it, thanks for your input though

Once you invite people to a wedding it stops only being about you and your husband. If you want that, you should elope.

Bless you Nancy, for bringing this dead horse back to life.

@Morgan DH and I are very religious. One of our favorite passages from the Bible is the miracle of Jesus turning water into wine at the wedding at Cana. Because even Jesus knew how to properly host.

Enuff said.

^^^Your comment doesn't even make sense? She knows all about fucksake?

BeachDreams, she edited it to "Enuff said."

Honestly, she's the gift that keeps on giving.

Aww she must have realized her comment didnt make any sense...

I'm not LDS, so that's full disclosure. However, because I have cousin (who's now in his 60s) who moved to Salt Lake and converted to the Mormon faith over 35 years ago, coupled with the fact that I authored two books about the Jodi Arias/Travis Alexander murder trial (he was a strict Mormon who had far more trouble with the premarital sex prohibition than the words of wisdom related to alcohol/caffeine consumption), I've become quite familiar with how Mormons deal with alcohol at weddings (or, in day to day life). Generally, they don't.

In fact, my cousin came from our family -- a massive Irish-American family who put a bigger premium on wedding food, booze, and entertainment than on white gloved, table side service, valet parking, and marble floored venues. In short -- we party...whether it's after a wedding or after a funeral. It's what we do. That involves amazing food and adult beverages. It is our culture, and even the recovering alcoholics in the family -- and there are a handful from the ages of 40-something to 80-something -- have no problem with the format.

When this converted cousin was married -- 37 years and five children ago -- his parents flew from Long Island to Salt Lake to attend his wedding. They learned, as they stood on the steps of the temple, that they weren't permitted to witness their son's wedding because they were of another faith. They didn't stand a chance of getting a last minute Temple Recommend.

As the years have gone by, the initial shock has worn off, and as his children have gotten married, his mother (his father, a decade's long member of AA has since passed), his siblings and their SOs, and their children have all accepted the fact that the weddings hosted by devout LDS members out west do not look like the weddings that the average Catholic in New York hosts. There is no coffee -- let alone alcohol. There is no ceremony that the uncoverted can witness. However, there is usually an open house reception, and it's not what most of the ladies on this forum would host. It's typically at home or in a large space. People come and go, stay and leave, and there isn't any real meal, but there are things to eat and soft drinks (without caffeine) available. And that is the face of the belief system of those who are married (or sealed) in the LDS faith. At this point, everyone knows, and respects, the protocol.

I don't push my beliefs on those who are strict adherents to another faith -- even when it comes to weddings. I have the option to accept the invitation or to decline it (and truthfully, I'm not traveling from NY to Utah to have mints, candy, lemonade, and small apps without witnessing the ceremony. Surprise! The devout are as cool with my response as I am with their beliefs).

I do think of one special lady, a member of this community, whom most of us grew especially fond of, and how I wish she were here -- more than a year after to her wedding -- to give us her perspective. She was a practicing member of the LDS faith, a virgin, as was her FH, and that fact did not separate her from this community or cause anyone to mock her, warn her, or shun her. She was a smart, snarky, lovely woman. These words, and they came from her account, still ring in my ears (paraphrased): "Yes, we're having a multi-hour, open house at the in-laws -- in fact, we have two open house receptions planned in two different states. Every single guest, whether they stay for 10 minutes or all day, are LDS. Not one of them would expect alcohol to be served, but, if we had invited one person who did partake, we'd have the bottle ready to pour. We would not partake, but we would certainly host." I loved her for that -- not because I like wine (I don't), but because it spoke of an open-mindedness that she and her FH embraced while still honoring the tenets of their own faith.

And for those women, who on the earlier pages, jumped into this debate quoting alcohol costs and figures in order to align themselves with the OP -- well, your arguments degrade the position of those who actually live and breathe by a religious code, not a spreadsheet. If it's about money, then cut the guest list and stop jumping on an explanation that has absolutely nothing to do with what you simply won't pay for.

And OP, if you're not serving alcohol for reasons of faith, you can either embrace the more open minded thoughts of Ninjaa (the beloved lady to whom I referred), or you live with the results of your decision to serve soft drinks without caffeine at your reception. What else can we offer you beyond that?