Alcohol at the wedding-when you don't really want it there

I would suggest a cash bar rather than an open bar! That way you aren't necessarily supplying your guests with unlimited alcohol.

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That is what we originally wanted to do, however the venue does not allow us to do so at this specific location for some reason.

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He can invite anyone he wishes and leave anyone off he wishes.

I've attended weddings where the parents or siblings of the bride or groom would have been a huge disaster in attendance for their addictions/anger outburts. No one asked where they were at the wedding and everyone was able to relax and have fun because the troublemakers were not in attendance. It will be ok.

Following for future responses because this is QUITE literally my situation, down to the amount of guests. We're planning to 1.) severely limit the alcohol, and 2.) not announce that we're limiting the alcohol. If people give us a hard time about it, they need to take a good, hard look at their relationship with drinking.

Will you have security?

IF so then get them involved and if not see what your venues policy on renting one for your wedding is. Thats their job to handle wild guest.

I also wouldn't announce your bar decision until the wedding is already taking place to avoid potential trouble in the parking lot of the venue. At the end of he day, this is your wedding and you should do things how you want and if their are people you do not trust around alcohol and you are worried, then just dont invite them. Im sure their will be backlash but your wedding day is not suppose to be filled with worry about dunking idiots

View Quoted Comment Tbh, people rarely “act out” TOO badly at weddings. I think most people understand it’s not the place to act like drunken frat boys (or girls). My parents were worried about my little brother’s wedding because he has a lot of rowdy friends who tend to get into trouble and act crazy when they drink (bar fights, streaking naked, stealing tractors lol) They went so far as to hire security and transportation for the whole night (to drive anyone intoxicated or anyone who was “removed” by security). And it was all for nothing! Everyone was respectful, drank responsibly, and had a great time!

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I am glad that I am not the only one worrying about this. I feel like people should be able to have without getting alcohol involved, and if you can't there is a bigger problem there. I will let you know how it goes. From my experience already, I think not telling people is the best idea!

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I am hoping things run smoothly. Hopefully people know some boundaries. lol Your brother seems like he has pretty interesting friends

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Most venues that are not churches require you rent security. The bar situation does not need to be announced. Guests will find out when they arrive at the reception, the same as them finding out it's plated dinner vs heavy appetizers that are more food dinner for example. Don't make it a bigger issue than it needs to be.

Agree to not invite people who you know will cause problems. If they don't like your choice, too bad. No one needs that toxicity no matter who they are, especially if they care more about alcohol than their own family and friends.

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I don't think there will be security, but the venue said they are good with the cops around there if anything were to happen. I just wouldn't want it to get to that point obviously. Thank you!

If u don't want it there then don't have it.

View Quoted Comment Girrrl 🤦🏼‍♀️ They are like little brothers to me, and I love them dearly... but I’ve wanted to kill them a few times (especially when you’re getting called at 3am to pick them up but they don’t know where they are.. or need you to bail them out of jail)

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sounds like there is never a dull moment! LOL

View Quoted Comment You could try a ticket system. Every adult gets 2 drink tickets for the reception. Those who don't want to drink can give their tickets away. This way there is enough for everyone but not enough so people can get wasted out of their minds.
Also, there's nothing to stop people from sneaking in their own booze. All you can do is warn your guests that if they are caught, they will be asked to leave. Then talk to your venue about security and how they handle these situations.

I’m sorry you have to worry about this on top of the normal wedding stress.
PP posted good advice. I’d actually hire a security guard and rethink about inviting the worst troublemakers. You and your FH put down a lot of money for this day and it shouldn’t be disturbed by anyone.
I’d still serve alcohol (no liquor) to have your toast and also for the responsible adults. I also like the idea of having a good bartender that keeps an eye on frequent bar guests. It may cost a bit more, but give you peace of mind.

I have a few alcoholics in my family and the best thing we can do is say we are not responsible for their drinking problems. they are so we are having a regular bar your bartender will be able to keep a eye on them

View Quoted Comment Don’t invite those people. If they can’t respect your wishes at your wedding and manage one evening without drinks they don’t warrant an invitation. Problem solved.

View Quoted Comment FH needs to understand where you are coming from does he not care how concerned you are about this? That’s an issue in and of itself.

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He does care that I am so stressed about it. His parents are a big source of the problem, and he would never tell them that they aren't allowed at our wedding. His view on family is much different than mine. However, he said he will back my decision if I decide to have it or not. The issue again lies with his parents and a few of his siblings. They are the ones that will come after me and say that I am being uptight about it, or no one will have fun or dance if there isn't alcohol involved. I am more so just trying to please everyone, which I know is not possible. I am just trying to find a way to make it a bit easier on myself at this point.

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That is true. From what the venue has told me the bartenders are pretty on top of it.