Alcohol at Wedding - Fiancé is in AA

A dry wedding is acceptable if that is the best choice for the couple. I hope your guest understand. Personally I would give my best wishes and not stay very long.

I do not think it should be served.

It sounds like you've made a decision (and, IMHO, a great one). Now... Think about the cute mocktails you can serve AND all the money you'll save to put towards other fabulous parts of your wedding! Congratulations and good luck!!

Sobriety is a tough road. It takes courage and it takes tenacity. On a day to day basis, it's a battle. On your wedding day, it's huge. Ultimately, the goal of recovery is to be able to function in a world that serves and indulges in alcohol -- at big celebrations, small celebrations, and at restaurants. Eventually, your FH will have to accept that fact and he will have to adapt to a world in which alcohol is a free flowing element of life. However, if your FH is still early in his recovery, I assume those who are seriously invested in his well-being will tell him that alcohol at the wedding is a no go. That's good for him, but it may impact your guests. Just be ready for the potential outcomes and you'll be fine.

Dry weddings tend to end earlier than weddings hosting alcohol (and be advised that there are those who will bring flasks and set up car bars). Please, no cash bars, no drink tickets, and no beer and wine. You have to go all the way if your reason for not hosting alcohol is based in your FH's addiction, If your wedding doesn't end up being the party you were envisioning, and if your guests are ready to call it a day after dinner, don't be upset and don't resent their behavior. Remember, they made the effort, attended your wedding, left you a gift, but exited earlier than expected.

Best of luck...seriously.

Hillary it's a tough situation living and marring a addict no matter how long they are sober,it always brings complications of some sort. I am glad you worked this one out. Tbh I know your not keen on it,but if he's not comfortable with it,it's the correct decision. After all his sobriety is more important than the wedding,without it the possibly wouldn't be a wedding.you friends and family will understand. Enjoy the rest of your wedding planning

We are having a dry wedding celebration the day we get married at the court house, but when we do the ceremony, dinner & reception next year, we will have alcohol.

There will be some AA members attending & we will be extra considerate of them, to offer them an alternative, which we will need for those guests who do not drink due to being on meds or just by choice. We do have some friends that tend to drink too much & make fools out of themselves, but we will be watching & will cut them off as we see fit....after all, we are their friends...!!

While I get where Celia and Centerpiece are coming from along these lines "Ultimately, the goal of recovery is to be able to function in a world that serves and indulges in alcohol -- at big celebrations, small celebrations, and at restaurants." I also think that there's room to be able to function in a world where there's alcohol and know that it's part of celebrations, but not making it part of your very special moments.

I'm vegan. I know the whole world isn't, I don't expect people to cater to me and not serve animal products everywhere I go, and I expect if we're going to a party, I won't eat dessert because no one makes vegan desserts unless it's me. It's fine. But at my wedding, I wanted everyone to eat vegan cake, because I didn't want there to be part of my wedding day that I didn't get to participate in equally. I feel like this situation is a little bit like that- he can participate in everyone else's special celebrations where there's alcohol and have to deal with that, but at his own wedding, he can have the choice to not have that be part of it.

It's not a perfect analogy, but I'm also only 1 cup of coffee in.

Someone very close to me is in recovery. 13 years and counting. When it comes to special events, this is how it goes--my events, there is alcohol. This person attends my event with no issues or complaints. Respects the fact that I am not in recovery. In turn, this person has special events (birthday parties, weddings, etc.) they do not offer alcohol. I respect this decision. And guess what I always have a great time with this person. While this person understands that alcohol is free flowing in society, they choose to not have it at the events that are centered around them. Everyone who loves this person respects it. Their parties still go until 2am Enjoy your wedding.

I think a dry wedding would be fine imo

My FH is also in AA as well as the majority of his family and many of our friends. While I feel fine drinking in front of him (I always ask out of courtesy, but it rarely bothers him) he really just didn't want to pay for alcohol at his wedding. Our wedding is in the fall and outdoors, so instead of serving alcohol we will be having a specialty hot beverage bar (apple cider, hot tea, hot chocolate). We wanted to do a little extra besides the usual soda, coffee, and water options. Our reception ends at 9, which I feel is an appropriate time to end with a dry wedding - I wouldn't expect many people to stay much later than that with no alcohol.

This is coming from the perspective of a healthcare provider who works in psychiatry, which often includes addiction-related issues.

Think about it like this, folks. If someone you knew had diabetes, and had a diabetic friendly cake, you would (hopefully) not respond with, "Well, that's YOUR problem, not mine." You would be glad they're caring for themselves, right?

If someone was pregnant, and didn't have wine at their babyshower, you wouldn't say, "Yeah, we'll I'M not pregnant!"

So why do we, with mental illness say, "It's not my problem, it's theirs."?

As the late Chester Bennington, who took his life in 2017, sings in "One More Light", "Just cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it, isn't there..."

If you are in recovery, then you are AWESOME. You should also avoid serving alcohol and instead of thinking about addiction as "your problem", should take a moment to let your guests proudly know why you are not serving alcohol. If it is okay with your friends, you might even have a moment where you ask them to stand up if they are still in recovery and have a round of applause for everyone who has kicked the habit.

If you don't have addiction issues and want to serve alcohol, also fine - they can choose not to attend the event if it would jeopardize their sobriety. It's a free world.