Alcohol...

If you want a dry wedding, that is your choice. If you want people to have some alcohol via byob then you should let people have there own drinks. It seems like you don't want people drunk but at the end of the day you can't control people. If someone wants to get drunk they will find a way. Don't complicate it anymore than you have to.

I would just have a dry wedding, if that's what you want. If you *don't* want a dry wedding (or you're only having a dry wedding because of the aunt and uncle), then I would provide beer and wine. Regardless, I feel like BYOB is a bad idea and it's definitely not going to work to ask adults to turn their alcohol over to bartenders to be distributed back to them.

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No wedding "should" have anything. Evening weddings without booze are perfectly acceptable. If people can't handle themselves at an evening event without alcohol, they need to do some self-reflection.

View Quoted Comment I mean, yeah they’re acceptable but most people expect alcohol at evening social functions. That’s pretty standard across the board.


There’s nothing really “wrong” with a dry evening wedding, but it may disappoint some people and people will likely leave early.
And it’s pretty insulting to insinuate that everyone who expects to have alcohol at a wedding, when it is a social norm, has “a problem”
Just own it. Don’t dance around excuses like “so and so is an alcoholic” or “I don’t want people getting drunk” have a dry wedding but reset your expectations of the event’s vibe.

View Quoted Comment 100% agree.
Plus: she only wants to do a dry wedding to 'honor' 2 people, not because she trully wants it or because of $$.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this 100 %. Alcohol is *never* required and if someone truly cannot enjoy themselves without it then they have bigger issues to deal with. No one should ever be bullied into serving/doing something that they are not comfortable with or cannot afford in order to please others with expectations that are not shared universally.

I say do a cash bar for the situation you explain, I know a lot of people say they are tacky but I’ve gone to plenty of weddings that have had them and not one person has ever cared. This topic gets very heated every couple months on these forums. I swear most of the weddings I have been to have been cash bars. If people want to drink, they can pay for it. This allows you to control how long alcohol is served and allows you tell the bartender when you want someone cut off. If you let people bring their own, you cannot control what they do, how strong of drinks they make or how often. Making them pay for it will also probably limit how much they drink too.


If you choose zero alcohol that’s okay too, it’s your day.
My fiancés parents are paying for alcohol for our wedding but I can tell you if they weren’t, we would be doing a cash bar with no shame.
Just my unpopular opinion.

View Quoted Comment I dont think people have a problem just because they drink at even social gatherings. I myself do drink, just not much or often.
It's not an excuse. But it is respectful to be considerate of those who are sober.

View Quoted Comment I'm not a big drinker so I dont see the point in having alcohol. I can afford it just fine. But since these people are important to use, yes I do want to be considerate of the fact that they are sober and I do want to honor them since they have graced us with the honor of their first wedding ring set. They have been married for over 50 years so that says alot.

View Quoted Comment This 100%. These days I don’t drink much at all, but a wedding is one of few places I can guarantee I’m having a couple drinks. This is because, if you are *not* an alcoholic, it can simply help you loosen up and be more sociable.

View Quoted Comment I posted another comment before but seems like you didn't read it .
So, here's a copy/paste ( I edited it):

" xIs it fair to have the rule that guests who bring their own alcohol store it behind the bar, wait until dinner, and then be served by a bar? "I would seriously be upset with you for being allowed o bring my alcohol but being told when and how to drink it. I would even leave your event since you would treat me like a kid who's grounded. Seriously!

The iissue with your wish to do a dry event, is not the dry wedding itself but the reason why you want it: to accommodate 2 people!

There are other ways to honor them: in a speech,a program (if you're doing it) .. and, better, in-person on the big day.

Last but not least: These 2 didn't request a dry wedding. I'm ****% sure they wouldn't be offended by you doing a bar. They wouldn't be forced them nor pressured to drink, would they?
If your groom does want a dry wedding, it's another story but he doesn't!

In lieu of a BYOB that will lead to unnecessary troubles, you should either do a dry event or a bar. You still want a dry wedding because you and you family are not big drinkers: this is not a reason to skip it: Does your fiancé's family matter or not ? ( Yep: alcohol is unnecessary ... but so is the reception , when you think about it!)"

Oh, may I ask: Because your guy wanted to do BYOB , that means he doesn't want a dry wedding at all costs and because you said you and you family don't drink much but didn't mention FH's folks, I assume some of them are big drinkers: are you willing to to keep that in mind or are you doing things your way and don't care what FH ?

I know my question sounds mean but I'm dead serious...

Having a dry event is definitely OK when you're doing it for you and FH, not for anyone else but... the 2 reasons why you want it are not.

View Quoted Comment I think there are better ways to honor them than having a dry wedding. Why sacrifice something you seem to want when it probably doesn’t matter anyway? I promise you they don’t avoid every place that has alcohol. That would mean they never go out to eat at restaurants, don’t go to hair/nail salons, concerts, sports games, friends houses etc.


Alcohol is part of society’s every day life. I have never seen a non-drinker avoid every single place that has alcohol. They simply don’t participate.
If you want to honor them, maybe dedicate a dance to them with their wedding song or something. I think that would be much more meaningful than potentially pissing off other guests to “honor” them. That would actually probably upset them

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You keep saying that you want to “honor” your aunt and uncle who are sober, by not having alcohol at your wedding. I am curious how this will be an honor. Have they requested it, and you want to honor their wishes? Or are you just doing it because you feel it will be an honor to them? If it’s the latter, then how will they know they are being honored? Are you going to announce that it is a dry wedding in honor of them and their gracious gift? If so, I think that would make them feel horribly uncomfortable, especially because a dry wedding is likely going to be a disappointment for many guests. Pointing out the fact it is dry because of this couple could make them feel like they are the objects of resentment (and may also make them feel as though you used them as a scapegoat to have a dry wedding). And if the couple have not requested a dry wedding, and you dont announce it, then I’m not sure how it’s considered an “honor”. An honor would be giving them a thoughtful gift or card, toasting them at your reception, thanking them for their generosity in your programs, etc. If you want to have a dry wedding, that is completely acceptable- but you should just own the fact that you want to have a dry wedding, and do not do it under the disguise of wanting to “honor” your aunt & uncle… it comes off as you trying to pass the blame onto others in order to justify your own desires.

Don't forget in the midst of trying to please your aunt and uncle, your family, your guests, yourself, that your husband's opinion should matter second to none other than you. Sounds like he wants alcohol there, and it is his wedding too just something to consider!

My fiance' nor I drink however, my plan for my reception was to get a fountain and serve mocktails.
Just a thought

Most of the post on here are right on. I think you have to ask yourself: What are you looking for in your wedding? If you want to avoid the stress you would feel if people get drunk, have a dry wedding. If you want to have a party atmosphere, alcohol can help, but isn't the only option for that. You may need to just put more thought and effort into how you can have a great guest experience to get people feel the party vibes without alcohol.

Like many have said on here, I think it would be smart to avoid an in between situation like BYOB. I am glad you had a good experience with that at another wedding and you know your guests better than anyone if that would be a good option for them. But for a lot of weddings, that would not go over very well.

BYOB brings a potential for chaos and disaster, you would have people searching for "their" booze, people who have brought too much, some who have not brought enough, everyone with a different type of glass they would need or mixing their own drinks and cocktails... It would be pure chaos. I agree with most people here, that you should probably just be consequent and do a dry wedding (people will most likely leave earlier and they will probably not dance as much or as wildly, at least this was the case with the two dry weddings I've been to, they were nice and fun but also a bit boring) or just honour those two people in a different way. Maybe offer a small selection of alcoholic beverages and some unusual alc-free cocktails?

I would just go with a dry wedding especially if you are honoring family that is sober and you and your fiance aren't really drinkers. Why have the added stress and worry about policing alcohol that your guests will bring?

First, you need to check with your venue about rules regarding alcohol. Most venues will require that alcohol is served by a bartender for insurance reasons and having guests BYOB is typically not allowed or very limited.

If you are having a backyard wedding, obviously the rules are different, but the hosts or property owners could still carry liability. There may be rules specific to providing alcohol and serving it, BYOB, self-serve, etc. Check your state and local laws.

You absolutely need to consider the legal aspects of having an event with alcohol, and where that alcohol comes from, who serves it, whether liquor is different from beer and wine, etc.

That aside, you should have an event that reflects your values. If you enjoy drinking and going to parties where people drink, you shouldn't have a dry wedding simply because a couple of your guests are sober. I don't think you'd host a vegan wedding just because your cousin is vegan if you yourselves regularly eat meat. It's important to make your guests comfortable and provide for their basic needs, but you don't need to hold yourself and all of your guests hostage to the standard of your invitees with the most restricted lifestyles.

Now, if drinking isn't a big part of your social lives and the liability of having alcohol at your event is concerning, it's totally fine to host a dry wedding. Keep in mind in most social circles alcohol at weddings is pretty much the norm. If you drink ever, even if just occasionally, your guests won't necessarily be expecting you to have a dry wedding, so you'll want to give guests a heads up about your expectations ahead of time.

Lastly, if you are okay with alcohol, people are going to have thoughts about whether BYOB is appropriate for a host to ask of guests or if it is tacky, in the same way there are mixed opinions about cash bar vs open bar.

I would say, whether or not you choose to have alcohol should reflect what YOU as a couple want and what your priorities are, not the desires of specific guests. If you choose to have alcohol then you should host properly and provide it for your guests.