All i want is cash to pay off our debt...

View Quoted Comment The single most horrific thing you’ve seen? What kind of self-absorbed world do you live in that this is the single most horrific thing you’ve seen? Try some compassion. I’m happy for my friends and family when they find someone else to walk through this life with, and if they want a cash registry to soften the blow of what can sometimes be a tough hand, I’m absolutely happy to pitch in. Best wishes, OP.

To be quite frank I was very upfront about wanting money ahah. I had a honeymoon fund but I was frank with everyone and said it's preferable for monetary gifts if gifted at all and any kind of gift is very appreciated. We did still get a couple of physical gifts but generally if you don't have a registry then people would ideally give you cash.

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Yes, asking for cash is rude. Not my problem you ran up a Visa card. I would never be vocal about it to the couple nore anyone else I would decline the invite. I have seen poems on Pinterest dedicated to asking for cash. Sorry, not gonna change my mind.

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I was thinking the same thing if the feelings are so strong about being married and in debt.

I attended a wedding where the invitations actually said “If you care to gift us, money is preferred.” While I found this incredibly tacky, it tends to be a cultural thing as well. In some cultures, money is the only acceptable wedding gift.

My FH & I live with his brother & sister in law so we dont have a lot of space and with them expecting a second child soon, we really need to save up for our own place. My mom came up with this for my wedding site:

"Due to lack of storage space for wedding gifts, we do not have a registry. Gift cards & cash donations would be appreciated to help the couple with a down payment on a new home."

Even though you are simply looking at getting a bigger apartment, it might still apply or at least help give you ideas.

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This was my exact same thought

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Amazing!!!

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Like I said before, it's not like he ran up a Visa card. It's a complicated situation that was out of his control and paying off the debt is the only way out of it. We work our butts off and are prepared to take this on ourselves if we don't get any cash for the wedding, but man, it sure would be nice. While I agree that the poem is a bit cheesy and tacky, that's why I went to wedding wire in the first place. I have never done this before and I don't know the etiquette. It's not my fault my job pays me half of what I'm worth and you try job hunting while wedding planning. He's also actively trying to find a better job. I've worked my ass off this summer so we don't have to go into debt to pay for the wedding.

Neither of us have credit card debt. No need to be nasty.

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I think my mom is giving guests some ideas and then hinting that cash is better/preferred. Which I think will work great. But this is nice.

View Quoted Comment We're getting married in a church because that's a non-negotiable for me (I'm Catholic)Besides that, we've already paid for everything and done all the invitations so it's a bit too late for that. We are only going up north for our honeymoon just to get out of town, so that's only going to be $500 tops for lodging and food and fun total which really won't make that much of a dent and I think we deserve a little something.

The comment was not nasty. It was the truthful response to a bad idea. Don't get married saddled with debt - that is a poor idea. Straight up asking for cash is poor taste. But you are bound to do it so best of luck to you.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree

View Quoted Comment I think that you obviously know your situation better than anyone on here does, and ever will. You have obviously work very hard to both plan the wedding that you are having, but also to pay for it.

Without knowing what the debt is, I would imagine that there is likely some sort of fee/penalty or interest incurred monthly. While the $500 may not seem like a huge dent, it really might make a big difference in the long run. (Maybe not but only you know the answer to that)

In complete sincerity, I think that as an adult, you will be able to make the decision that makes the most sense for you and your future husband, but I would encourage you to think through what paying $500 off on that loan now vs. later will do for you guys.

Again, not trying to tell you what to do, just giving some friendly food for thought.

We're not getting married until 2021 because we want to be 100% debt free before our wedding. We should be able to be debt free (house and everything) by next year so we might be able to get married in 2020. I keep playing around with different dates, themes and budgets to see what our wedding could like to pass the time right now. We won't officially start planning until the end of summer next year.

Not trying to be rude at all but if paying off this debt is so important to you then why don't you pay if off and then get married in a year or two?

We just did not register and only received one physical gift. Poems, and really any mention of gifts are just tacky in my opinion. I also did not have a bridal shower as I did not have a registry.

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Well we wanted my dad to be there, and he had Alzheimer's and it was pretty advanced so we didn't want to wait too long. That's a bit of a moot point now since he passed away two weeks ago 72 days before my wedding, but by now it's too late to change anything. Things are already half paid for.

“Cash fund”! Totally an option!

I'm sorry about your dad! That's heartbreaking. Everything will all work out in the end. Your wedding day will be wonderful no matter what happens!

There are lots of people who would be offended if you just asked them for cash. You can still do it, but be prepared. If you don't care, that's fine. Also, there is no polite way to ask for cash. People who want to give you a physical gift will still do so whether you have a registry or not. They'll just buy what they think you want. In that case, hopefully there are gift receipts and you can get cash back or if you're registered at a place like Target, you can use store credit for groceries and paper towels. That's what we plan to do.