All-inclusive shower or do it yourself?

How many people will be invited? I think $18/pp is pretty reasonable. With the hall being that costly without food or decor or anything else, it would probably end up about the same cost if you had 30 or less guests and there’d be a lot less for your mom and bridesmaids to do if it was at the restaurant.

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Hi Sarah! When we originally thought of the hall, we were somewhere around 40-50 but know at least 10 people won't actually come. It was just a courtesy invite so certain people wouldn't feel excluded. I think we could do around 30 people for cost-effectiveness! I totally agree that it won't be much cheaper once all those food and decor costs add up! Thanks for your response

So if you're having around 30 people, at $18 per person, it's $540, so it depends on the hall if it's around $300 and you think you can spend less than $240 on food/decor (including things like linens, place settings, potential table/chair rentals, etc) than it is more affordable to do the hall, but i know where I live, all of those details would be more than $240, making the restaurant more cost effective. I would maybe try to get an idea of pricing on those details so you can have a more accurate comparison.

Who is paying and who would be doing the work? Those people should make the decision on cost vs. effort. The people paying should also get to decide the guest count, so that they stay within their budget. 30 guests is very different from 50 guests, and so-called courtesy invites should still be counted as potential guests for budgeting purposes.

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Hi Maggie, my mom is paying for everything. My mom and I will be doing most of the work. I do have bridesmaids that will help with set up but not financially. She won't give me an answer about what she prefers because she wants me to decide. My guess is that if we went with the $18/pp we would cut the courtesy invites that I mentioned and have it be smaller for budgeting purposes. And then the full 40-50 if it was DIY at a hall. We haven't invited anyone yet until we choose a venue. My mom is trying to be nice by saying "you choose" so I can't get a read on what is better for her. I might have to just ask her to be totally honest and not worry about my feelings here. Since she is paying, I agree that she should decide!

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Hi Ashlee! Thank you. That's a great way of thinking about it. We live in a city so it's totally possible that those things could get pricey too. This is a smart suggestion. I think we will start looking at all of the individual items and add them up to estimate what costs look like at each guest level

I think your bridesmaids are wrong or completely our of touch with costs because $18 is a really good deal. We just got done pricing catering for my dad's fifth birthday party and just for food that we would be picking up as on average about $16/person and didn't include anything you named.

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Hi Veronica, thank you for this information! This brings up a good point too because if my mom elects to have it catered, we might very well end up paying a similar price per person on top of the hall rental fees. I wasn't sure what is normal pricing because this is our first major family event in over 15 years!

View Quoted Comment You're welcome! Our pricing also didn't include alcohol as we aren't having alcohol at my dad's party as he is a recovering alcoholic. I will also add that the pricing is going to vary based on food and location.

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Thank you for sharing that! We are going to avoid alcohol too because my grandmother is a struggling alcoholic and will definitely drink if it is in her reach. That price range included coffees, teas, juice, and soda which I think would add up quickly if we did it ourselves.

View Quoted Comment O course! I wasn't sure if you were trying to any type of alcohol like wine because that would definitely up your price. You could always price out catering, but I think you'll have a hard time finding something less than $18/person that includes everything else.

I would go for the restaurant because you barely would have to do anything

As MOB, I hosted daughter's bridal shower. We went with a restaurant for a luncheon; I think it was around $18 pp (plus tax and gratuity) plus wine and champagne. It was lovely, and for me, it was great! I got to host daughter's shower AND I also got to enjoy it -- the restaurant staff handled everything. For me, that was SO much better than doing all the work for a DIY shower. The restaurant let us show up about 45 minutes early to decorate (centerpieces, favors, etc.). They provided extra tables for the gifts, cake, etc. I think we had the private room for about 2.5 - 3 hours. And, when we were done, all we had to worry about was packing up the gifts -- no clean up! It was great and well worth the fixed costs.

Take into consideration after the shower. . .what would you rather do. . .leave and be done. . .or stay and clean. . .that right there would make my decision, even if the restaurant is slightly higher cost. Your time and effort have a cost too!

$18 per person - you can easily spend that at Applebees for dinner, that is incredibly reasonable!
Renting a hall, decor, catering…that’s a lot of work!

18 dollars per person sounds like a steal. I'd keep the shower as small as possible. It's supposed to be for your nearest and dearest. I don't think anyone wants a courtesy invite to an event where an additional gift is expected.

$18 per person seems pretty reasonable. And low work sounds good on your mom. Frankly, if your mom is the one paying, it doesn’t matter at all what they other bridesmaids think about the cost— it doesn’t have anything to do with them! Also sounds like your mom really just wants to know what you’d ENJOY best, not what you think is easiest or most cost effective

View Quoted Comment Agree with this completely. You provide the guest list based on who locally is invited to the wedding and a date of availability. Beyond that, the hosts do the planning and budget.


Where I am from, it’s common to have cake and punch, maybe Costco deli sandwiches, in someone’s home. They pick up decorations at Party City for next to nothing. I’ve never heard of or attended a restaurant shower so that would be super fancy and out of budget. Even a low cost lunch menu at a casual restaurant adds up when you have 10 or more people.