Almost bridesmaid?

She may have taken that as a sign you’re not very much into weddings or wedding planning (some people aren’t) and didn’t want to burden you with bridesmaids responsibilities because of that. I don’t think you should take it personally. She probably just didn’t think you would care either way. Maybe reach out to her and show some interest in her planning and progress. She took interest in your pregnancy and was there for you, so I think you should do the same. Even if you just end up being a guest. We always need support from the people we care about.

You could ask her, but it's also entirely possible that she thinks with your schedule and a kid, you might not have the money/time to be a BM.

There were several friends I wanted in my BP, but because of their health/family situation, I didn't even ask - I didn't want to give them the stress!

She also could simply spend more time with these women than you - are you prepared to hear from her that she doesn't think of you the same way you think of her?

I didn't have a BP when I went dress shopping - it was an exploratory pop up sale and I just took whomever was free - and the same could be about the bridal expo. She just asked to see who was free that day, not BP scouting.

Honestly, I'd let it go.

(Most people on here say it's not all that fun being a BM.)

If she wanted you in her wedding she would have asked. Not a big deal, as stated above, let it go.

I wouldn’t get too hurt about it. There’s a lot of stress and involvement that some brides tend to put on their bridesmaids and her not picking you could’ve been due to you not being able to attend the expo, but it’s probably for the best if that’s her reasoning for it.
I wouldn’t confront her about this. It’s her own personal decision, and all you have to do now is simply just attend as a guest and have a blast. For all you know she may have other girls that are wondering why she didn’t pick them. I wouldn’t confront her because I think it could ruin your friendship and cause more harm. I would just accept it and be supportive

Dear Pam,


I agree with Alli and the other gals. I knew who I was going to pick immediately. I think it would be silly, especially after your extensive history, for her to make whether you’re coming with her to an expo a deciding factor in all of this. I know that sometimes my childless friends, and myself included, will feel like those with children already have so much to do, especially during COVID, that we don’t want to bother them with extra details and micromanaging.
Overall, though, I think that I would chalk this one up to a multitude of things including COVID and her perception how much time you may have/how much time she has (she is in the middle of planning). However, I think that a lot of your worry is also stemming from COVID stress. We all feel a little lonely and neglected right now.
Recently, a girl that was horribly mean to me in high school married an old friend of my FH’s, and he was really surprised and upset that we weren’t invited to the wedding (on New Years Eve of 2020 *facepalm*). Even though they hadn’t spoken in years, he was really hurt. In hindsight, my FH and I are excluding a LOT of some of our really great friends from the wedding because of monetary constraints and because we ultimately decided family comes first.
All in all, don’t be too hard on yourself! She’ll come around and have more time again, as long as you stay positive and receptive. Don’t worry if it takes a little while, some people may not be as conscious of other people’s actions or as empathetic as you are, and that’s okay!
PS: I think it’s kind of silly that she’s posting so many updates to Facebook, where I’m sure not only you but a lot of other people will be scrolling through and kind of resent it rather than be happy about it (even people involved, I have a bridesmaid that I suspect may be becoming overwhelmed or generally “over” the wedding)! I mean, these are hard times, when did it become a requirement to document and share every moment of excitement or bliss in order to actually enjoy it? Plus, I like a little surprise with my parties! :p
Anyways, thank you for your post and I wish you the best! Don’t sweat it! Stay golden😎
Aubrianna Abbema

Hi Pam! I agree with Aubrianna and the girls! Highly doubt the expo was a “test” so to speak so please don’t beat yourself up about it. I stayed up all night one night choosing my bridesmaids and it was so hard. I’ve been blessed with so many amazing friends and my girls who were invited to my wedding and not in the bridal party, I have so much respect for and they still mean a lot to me. Your friend is probably dealing with these crazy restrictions for her wedding and I definitely had my hands full during my planning, this probably why she is not in touch as much as she would like to be. Hope you have fun attending the wedding and I’m sure your attendance will mean a lot to her ❤️❤️❤️

I definitely don’t think the expo was a “test.” Personally, I wouldn’t have considered because you’re pregnant. Being a new mom is exhausting & time consuming- she probably didn’t want to add to your plate. I’d let it go.

Thank you ladies so much! I'm not gonna confront her, like I said it's her choice obviously. I was just in my feelings lol, but you guys are right! And you've all honestly really helped

While some brides really do pick their attendants randomly, most do not. The expo was irrelevant. Let it go and be a good friend to her.

She probably didn't pick you because she figured with you becoming a new mom it would add to your already full plate. I'd say just let it go cause it's not personal.

I wouldn’t think much of it just because even if you missed the expo, if she rly did want you to be one, she coulda still asked ya know?