Almost engaged, am I being crazy???

10,000 for everything for a 100 person wedding is tight. Half of that will be your reception, so once you figure in tax and service, you're really looking at about 35-40.00 PP to start. That is not a lot of money; I don't really know what your area is like, but if you're not really in the middle of nowhere, that is going to be hard to find in high season.

May 12th is going to be a popular date, and yes you should plan now. Venues book up fast.

If you're planning a wedding, you're engaged. A ring does not an engagement make.

You do not have a date until you have a venue, as I think you understand. But I would worry more about the venue than about the specific date (other than doing it before you need to relocate).

Re: budget - I'm not from Dallas, but a quick search at costofwedding.com puts the average in that area at more like $25-$30k for 100 people. Soooo... probably not. Obviously there are lots of ways you can be frugal, but food and and booze add up fast and are critical parts of the guest experience.

Good luck with your planning!

If you know for sure you're going to be engaged then it's not silly. I'm not from your area but $10,000 seems low for 100 people. If that's your only option in budget then maybe cut the guest list. Happy planning. Post again when/how he proposes!

I think 10k for 100 people will be a stretch, but I'm not familiar with that area. It's smart to go ahead and start planning your budget and things now, so you can make sure you have realistic expectations!

Just to start I think if you are planning a wedding you are engaged not "almost engaged".

I would say that your budget may be unrealistic for that many people. You can look at costofwedding.com to get a better idea on how much you can afford.

Finally not to be a negative nancy but what if your dad says no? will you two still get married or will you have planned all of this for nothing?

I would say either you are engaged and planning or you are not and should wait.

You don't need a ring to be engaged so congrats you are engaged if you are actively planning a wedding. Also, you don't have a date until you have a venue.

ETA: Ignore most of this. I thought you meant this May.

I'm in SD and my FH is also military so we're on a tight timeline to make sure we get everything legally done before he PCS's. Its very important that you get married BEFORE he checks into his next duty station so that the military will pay for your relocation. If he were to check into his new duty station then go visit you & get married you would have to pay out of pocket for it. Our Chaplain offered us free counseling and helped us figure out all the legal aspects of getting married and what to do when.

On to budget...I live in southern CA and we're looking at a total of $15k for our 60 people wedding. Its depends primarily on what you want and where you live. I would start looking at all inclusive packages that will help you a lot so you don't have to go with so many vendors. Best of luck!

Congrats! As others have pointed out, you're engaged and it's more than okay to start planning. I'd suggest looking into all-inclusive venues. I've learned that in my area at least, that is much more cost effective and WAY less stressful. We were able to find an all-inclusive golf course that is owned by a park district and it's worked out well for us so far. We checked the reviews on WW and they're great, and their prices are affordable for us. I live in Illinois and am hosting 90 people for $10,000.

Nope not at all. Both my cousin and i started planning our weddings before being officially asked.

Texas girl here! I think your goal is possible, but you have to be SO SO careful. My budget is $8,000 for 100 ppl, dress not included, no honeymoon, beer and wine only, simple décor, no favors, and only sending STDs to out of town guests. My venue was cheap, thankfully, but its a BYO everything, and it's in the middle of nowhere, haha. I missed my opportunity for another place that included a little more than my current and was cheaper and less remote. But I'm okay with that. Find a restaurant to cater your food, probably BBQ is going to be your cheapest option for food, somewhere between 12-15 pp. Watch every little penny, make sure you ask about taxes and fees to everyone you talk too, and remember you should be tipping everyone who works your wedding. So keep that in mind too.

ETA- I found a few pretty affordable places. Look at the Party Barn in Wylie. The Hedrick House in Lewisville, and Desert Willow Ranch in Bowie(my venue).

I don't know anything about your area, but if you can be flexible with the date, consider a Friday or a Sunday to save money. We're getting married on a Friday and it saved us 1500 on the venue and 200 on the photographer.

I'm not in Dallas but $10K for 100 people doesn't seem like much. I'm in CO and hosting approx 35 people and I'm close to $10K. That doesn't include favors, dress/shoes/accessories, hotel/transportation, or honeymoon.

There's a ton of different venues in Dallas! Check out the venue tab on Wedding Wire. You might have more luck with sticking to your budget if you are willing to consider a different date. I saved $2K on my venue by booking February since that is considered off-peak. If I had booked a Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday, it would've been another $1,000 off. Just something to think about.

It was actually his idea to start planning. If it was up to him, he would have asked months ago. My parents have spoken to him on the phone multiple times and like him, they just haven't physically met him (which is important to them and myself). Although we are trying to wed before he accepts his new command, it would not make a huge difference because the military will only move one (to my knowledge) household (he's up north and i'm in Dallas), so we would only have to pay to move one instead of both.

As far as budget, we plan on doing majority of it ourselves and my dress is being made (a dear friend of mine is a seamstress and makes wedding dresses for a living), and will be making my dress as a gift.

Its tight but doable. Idk about the Dallas area though. Good luck

Start looking at venues now (wedding wire is amazing for it- I found all my vendors here and nightly recommend). I'm in the same situation as you, no ring yet we want to get married and I know the ring is on the way. I have everything besides a DJ booked and it feels so good to be ahead of the game. I lost the opportunity to book a venue a really liked and a photographer which was my first choice because I wanted to put deposits down - mind you my date is 05-05.18 so not too far from yours.

I would try to cut the guest list. It will make a huge difference, if you absolutely cannot cut the list, keep in mind to just look for essentials first: venue, food, drinks, DJ - and I would add photographer to that list. Don't forget to make sure you add taxes and gratuity when doing the math it is easy to oversee that and then when time comes you have to make a big chunk of money appear last minute.

Good luck planning!

@OP: When my FH receives his orders in May it will be with him being single, however when we get married in November he will have to have his orders amended to have it on his record that he is married. If he does not receive BAH yet he will be receiving it fairly quickly once the marriage is reported to his command and the per diem he will receive will be used for your PCS.

ETA: Our Chaplain expressed how important it was for us to get married before he checks in because per diem will only cover his expenses if he checks in there first. I'm relaying what he stressed to us and I think it would be very important to look into it or talk to more Milso's.

Thank you so much for all of the responses, I'm glad to hear that I am not completely out of my mind. I originally wanted 5-5-18, but we (he), decided against it since his bday is exactly a week before that. Anywho, I welcome all opinions and will definitely post the official proposal and ring.

I booked my venue two full months before we got engaged. I'm in no position to call anyone crazy. ;-)

I suppose it is possible (somehow) but I have no idea how. I'm planning a wedding for 25 guests in an area where wedding costs typically run cheaper, and I'm almost to 10k already.