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Courtney & Derrek
Just Said Yes July 2019

Already married, but never had a wedding.

Courtney & Derrek, on April 14, 2017 at 6:20 PM

Posted in Planning 26

When my husband and I got married 3 years ago, I was pregnant and the clergy man told us to meet him up at a Starbucks to wed us. It was kind of odd and it was quick and discreet. We could of had a real wedding when we were living in Hawaii at that time, but it was too far for family and I felt bad...

When my husband and I got married 3 years ago, I was pregnant and the clergy man told us to meet him up at a Starbucks to wed us. It was kind of odd and it was quick and discreet. We could of had a real wedding when we were living in Hawaii at that time, but it was too far for family and I felt bad to make them all fly over because I mean, plane tickets are really expensive! Now that we live in the mainland and are closer to family, we want to start planning our 5th year anniversary wedding, which will be in 2 years. I was just wondering, will it be weird or do others do this too? Did I miss my chance at a really wedding or, do I still have my chance?

26 Comments

  • Tina
    Just Said Yes October 2019
    Tina ·
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    I’m glad I found this post. Our families are constantly saying we need to have a wedding. And I desperately want the wedding dress lol. But I have a few friends in my life that say it’s ridiculous. We were both military. Away from family. Got married in a court house conference room by a sexist judge who was appalled that I a woman was in the military. He spent 15 min talking about his stance on women in the military. Needless to say super memorable but not the best memory. We just celebrated our 10 year this past year I wanted to plan a wedding but my husbands cousin was getting married and I didn’t want to take away from her special day. But I would like to plan something in the next couple years. Obviously without the showers and parties. I really just want a wedding dress and a reception lol
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  • Lucy
    Just Said Yes April 2023
    Lucy ·
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    I had the same experience, I was pregnant and got married at the city hall in 2015, we did have a marriage but never had a wedding, so we now are doing our symbolical ceremony at a destination with close friends and family, we won’t get any gifts, no bridal shower or bachelorette party, I will wear a wedding dress that I never had the chance to wear and renew our vows and have a nice reception, I was scared of doing it at first but there is no rules and that’s what we want, plus our kids will be there too so they will get to enjoy it and be part of it and that makes it even better.
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  • S
    Just Said Yes April 2023
    Stephanie ·
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    We were dual military and stationed away from all family and did the courthouse thing intending to have a wedding later. We just never did. I imagined we would for our 5 year but that year was especially financially hard. So for year 6 I borrowed a friend’s dress and took photos because we didn’t even have photos of the day because “you can’t take cameras in the courthouse.”


    Only two people showed up for the photos. Everyone else treated it like a flippant idea.
    We decided vow renewal at 10 and, again, we didn’t have money to throw at it. We are coming up on year 12 and I still cry over it. I just want a wedding, but what’s the real point? For us to be more in debt? Nothing in my life is ever celebrated and I guess I just feel a certain way over it.
    Did you ever go through with it?
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  • Jessica
    Just Said Yes April 2018
    Jessica ·
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    I had similar experience except for different reasons. So mine was surprise and ended up being at my friends home maybe 10 people but MIL didn’t come and friends/other family it was complicated. I want to do something like ceremony it will be 10 yrs married next yr… I was wondering what kind of dress u were thinking? Obviously im thinking not traditional wedding gown but can it be fancy still???
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  • Michael
    Rockstar October 2023
    Michael ·
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    You can choose whatever style you like. A traditional gown would be fine for a renewal of vows, especially as this imagines the ceremony you didn't get to have before.

    If you wanted to add a little twist to prepare the mood, you could say this is the making of such (Mr. name) and (Mrs. name) marriage. Wedding Scene Take 2. I don't know if that idea helps. oh well.

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  • K
    Just Said Yes May 2024
    Kimberly ·
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    Did you have a wedding party?
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