Already Married? What would you have done differently?

1. Video. My photos just don't have the emotional impact I expected they would, and I had a family member film about 2 minutes total across the day - and that 2 minutes is more precious to me than any of my photos. I don't know how I'd have squished video in there, because we really used every single last penny of our budget, but if I could go back, I'd find a way.

2. Agreed on the food. I didn't eat anything at all aside from the 1/2 inch square chunk of our cake we fed to each other. I was informed by everyone how delicious all of the food was, but I didn't get any of it, and neither did my husband. We were both just too excited. When we got to the hotel that night, we were starving. 100% agree, arrange ahead of time with the caterer to box up a to-go box for when the adrenaline goes down and you can finally eat without the stomach butterflies waging war.

Aside from that... just knowing that things will happen that aren't in the plan, and it's okay. Most problems from a wedding day, you will either forget as the years go on, or you'll laugh about them. My husband was an hour late (traffic), our cake almost fell over (heat), I caught my veil on fire (don't lean over candles when you have fabric attached to your head). We laugh about these things now. There were other things people did that upset me on the day, but now I'm like, eh, whatever. No one died. No one was injured. No one got in a fist fight. No one left mad or had to be removed. (Have seen all of these things happen at weddings - yes, sadly, I've seen the first one twice.) Everyone had a good time, and we were husband and wife at the end of it. As long as everyone leaves happy and healthy, rejoice in your fortune and the adventure ahead.

That is precious about the engagement video. I love how unexpected that is. That is something you will watch when you're 80 and smile.

The moment I cite for myself is: we are announced husband and wife. Recessional music starts. We start back down the aisle. We each wrap an arm around each other's waists and look up to meet eyes. But then, I look around to our guests, and my husband looks straight over at the camera... and flashes the biggest, goofiest grin, like he is the king of the world in that moment. Ear-to-ear smile, eyes full on sparkling with joy. There is nothing like it anywhere in our photos. I also didn't see it in person, because I was looking at our guests. Had it not been caught on video, I'd have never seen it.

Video is so, so, so worth it. You'll only do this once. Even second weddings, it's the one time you'll marry this person, so capture it forever.

I wish we would have made the day/evening longer. Everything was so perfect and our reception was so fun, I wish we would have extended the party an extra hour.

We did not do a next day brunch and I would not have wanted to. The day after our wedding we were so tired! The last thing I wanted to do was get up and get ready to go eat brunch with a bunch of people. However, I was still full of energy at the end of our reception. So another hour to party would have been great.

Regrets

1. I would've hired a different florist. My husband didn't like her from the beginning and I had some concerns, but she was also the florist for my brother's wedding which was four months before our wedding and she was so helpful for them and did an amazing job for them. Unfortunately, my experience with her couldn't have been more different. She didn't listen to have the things we said, she bought stuff for our wedding then told us about it after, she messed up the colors of some of the flowers, forgot my pin that she was supposed to put on my bouquet, and our flowers were falling apart during the ceremony and photos after. My flowers which were real had to be glued to stay together because she bought a bouquet holder I hated.

2. Allowed my bridesmaids to pick their own style of dress. I wanted them in the same style which I learned was a huge mistake. It was a nightmare finding a dress and then a week before my wedding my MOH messaged me that the dress looked awful after it was altered and she wasn't comfortable wearing it so her and I scrambled to find a dress for her to wear and have altered in less than a week's time.

3. Not have shared a hotel room with my grandparents the night before the wedding. They decided to book a two bed hotel room in case any of us needed a room and since I didn't want to stay with my husband the night before I decided to take them up on their offer to use the extra bed. It was huge mistake my grandmother was freaking out the morning of the wedding about me waking my grandfather. I had to get up super early to shower and wash my hair then blow dry my incredibly thick hair. I also had a bunch of my wedding stuff with me that I put in the room and my grandmother didn't want me making a bunch of trips to the room because my grandfather was trying to sleep so because I was in such a rush my jewelry got misplaced and I didn't realize it until I was ready to get dressed so my mother and bridesmaids spent 30-45 minutes searching for it which meant I didn't get as many photos with my bridesmaids I would've liked.

Successes

1. We originally didn't budget for a videographer because my husband didn't think it was necessary however I really wanted one. We ended up coming under budget in other areas so we were able to hire a videographer. It took us almost a year to get the video because of videographer was so busy, but I'm glad we were able to hire a videographer.

2. The venue. When we were looking at venues I knew the venue I wanted just from looking at photos online so when we toured it I fell even more in love with it and thankfully we were able to customize the menu in order for us to be able to afford the venue otherwise their standard packages were way out of our budget.

3. The photographer. A girl I went to high school with got married about 2 months prior to my husband and I getting engaged and she had shared her wedding photos Facebook and I loved them so when I got engaged I knew I wanted to reach out to see if that photographer was within our budget and available for our wedding. Thankfully she was both within our budget and available. We love our wedding photos so much we actually hired her to do our maternity photos as I'm currently pregnant with our first child and they turned out amazing!

4. The food. The food we selected was amazing! In fact, my mom still talks about how much she liked the salad even almost two years later. My photographer who we just did our maternity photos with also raved about the food.

5. The DJ. Picking a DJ was so difficult because it's not like you can really see their work in advance. Our venue had a list of recommended vendors so I spoke with all of the DJs they recommended and hired one I liked the best. We couldn't have been happier with our choice. We had several guests tell us it was the most fun they've ever had at a wedding and our photographer said it was the most packed dance floor she has seen.

I wish i designated more time for photography or at least used the time better. we got good photos and everything but there was time lost cause it was hard getting everyone together and the location we chose had some restrictions we weren't aware of. and the time in general felt FAST so there were some poses we didn't get to do and i just blanked out forgetting i had a prop i wanted us to take photos with

Oh, I'd like to add a totally random "success" because I realized my reply was mostly regrets. So, on the positive side:

We had a fresh smoothie bar. Our wedding was dry (alcohol problems on the in-laws side - like literally they will start brawling with each other - and non-drinkers on my side) but I knew I wanted "something" in place of alcohol. My caterer offered specialty coffee/tea/cocoa carts, but it was the middle of summer, outside.... I figured no one would want to drink anything hot, or anything heavy on dairy (like creamers in iced coffee drinks). So I asked about a smoothie bar. The caterer figured out how to make it happen - our "bartender" had baskets of fresh fruit and guests could pick any combination to be made right there. Everyone loved this. Our guests still rave about this if the wedding comes up in conversation. (Also, I noticed afterward that the caterer started offering this as one of their specialty carts year-round!)

And as a guest, I loooooove specialty carts like this at weddings (drinks or food, doesn't matter). I don't care what they are. I'll drink hot cocoa in the middle of summer if that's what's on offer!

Oh I love this question!

Things I would have done differently:

1. Made sure we had more formal photos of just me and my husband, and some more bridal shots (the only bridal shots I have are a few while I was getting ready, and we have a lot of amazing shots of me and my husband but literally only 2 or 3 that are just formal photos of us smiling at the camera)

2. Stayed at home the night before instead of at the hotel! Initially I planned to sleep at home, but like a week before the wedding I changed my mind because I thought it'd be more fun and easier to stay at the hotel, but I slept so badly. I think I would've slept much better if I had trusted my gut and slept in my own bed.

3. Had a different venue lol. Our venue was absolutely terrible. Not the venue itself, but the staff was just disgraceful all around for a lot of reasons. They made us feel undervalued throughout the whole process, they were rude, they tried to sneak in hidden costs, and they rushed us through the day.

4. Gotten an adjustable corset in my wedding dress (or not having a strapless dress!) My dress fit perfectly..... until the day of the wedding. I must've lost some weight in the weeks leading up to the wedding, because my mom zipped me up in my dress and it just FELL DOWN. My bridesmaid had to pin me into it using safety pins, and I had to hold it up with my elbows. Once I ate lunch it did stay up better, but still, it was so stressful worrying about it falling down during the ceremony!

Successes:

1. Videography. We almost didn't have a videographer. Booked one 6 weeks before the wedding because suddenly I felt like I'd regret it if we didn't have one. BEST decision! I am obsessed with our wedding video. I watch it all the time. I couldn't imagine not having it. It actually upsets me to think about the fact that we almost didn't!

2. Having my brother officiate. Our ceremony was so personal and wonderful and I love that someone so significant to us was such a big part of it!

3. On that note about the ceremony being personal, writing our own vows! I spent literally about a year writing and rewriting them until they were perfect. And they WERE. I love that we wrote them ourselves and sharing mine/hearing his was probably the best part of the day for me!

4. Not having a DJ, and using a spotify playlist. We had a lunchtime wedding and honestly I didn't care much if people danced so I felt pretty good about the decision, but I was still a little worried that it wasn't going to be fun without one. People had SO much fun though, and basically everyone was up dancing! We used our playlist, and the best man and I also kept going back to the iPod and choosing songs, so I basically DJd my own wedding. I thought that would've been a burden, but it was actually so much fun choosing what song to play next. I actually feel like it added to the experience for me!

5. Not doing a first look. Seeing my husband's face when I walked down the aisle was priceless and I wouldn't trade it for anything. While I do have some regrets with photos (listed above) I don't think having a first look would've made any difference for that... we still had plenty of time for photos even without the first look, it was just the particular type of photo that I wish we had gotten more of.