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Kaycee
Beginner October 2019

Alternative to Dad Walking Down the Aisle

Kaycee, on October 6, 2018 at 2:50 AM

Posted in Wedding Ceremony 31

Hey all! First off, this is my first post, so happy wedding planning Long, very sad story short, my mom passed very suddenly from cancer in 2016. My dad is not a good person and won't be at the wedding. The ceremony gives me some anxiety because I go back and forth between wanting to honor my mom...
Hey all! First off, this is my first post, so happy wedding planning Smiley smile

Long, very sad story short, my mom passed very suddenly from cancer in 2016. My dad is not a good person and won't be at the wedding. The ceremony gives me some anxiety because I go back and forth between wanting to honor my mom and wanting to not be so sad that I sob the whole time.

I'm debating between these options and I honestly could make solid arguments for any of them. I'm not very traditional as you'll see. I would love your thoughts:

1. I walk myself. I'm an independent person in general so I like the idea that I don't need a man to give me away.

2. My mom's twin brother and my big brother walk me down the aisle together. My Uncle doesn't have daughters and I'm sure he would love it. My brother also already offered to take my father's place.

3. My bridesmaids are like family to me. We've all been friends since we were between 2 and 6 years old. We're extremely close and someone threw out the idea of us walking down the aisle at the same time (maybe it's me at the tail end unless we have a super wide aisle) and I actually really loved it. They were all close to my mom (so close they were there for her final hours) and a couple of them have already asked I wanted them to carry a flower for her on my behalf. Of everyone at the wedding, I'm closest to them.

31 Comments

  • Catjam
    Expert October 2018
    Catjam ·
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    Uncle and brother....my youngest brother is walking me down the isle. I have 2 brothers older than him, but we grew up together.

    By the way, welcome to our forums! I have found them SO helpful....happy planning Smiley ring

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  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    The first time I got married I walked alone. I was and am a very independent person so it made sense to me. This time FH and I are walking in together. I think this is a personal choice.

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  • bethf
    Devoted August 2019
    bethf ·
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    I honestly love all these ideas! (sorry that doesn't help lol ) With that being said I think is you are close to your brother and unlce do it, but it seems by your post you might be even closer to your bridesmiads? I say 3! I have no father so I have my sons walking me down the ailse. Smiley smile

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  • Jeskawo
    Savvy October 2019
    Jeskawo ·
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    I have to say I love option 3. I'm so grateful for the women in my life and I think in general anytime we have a chance to showcase the bonds between women in a public and meaningful way, we should. I'm sorry you lost your mom. Sending love.

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  • Amanda
    Just Said Yes March 2020
    Amanda ·
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    I vote for option 2 as well. While option 3 is sweet and I love the idea, it may be hard to do, depending on the size of the aisle. I think if you have a great relationship with your brother and uncle, then that moment would be sentimental for all of you, especially since your uncle doesn't have any daughters.

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  • edecker
    Super December 2024
    edecker ·
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    I think that it is whichever option you want most. I think it sounds like you love the idea of your girls supporting you, so maybe you have each one walk you a part of the aisle. I want to walk myself down the aisle so i also like option 1. Can i suggest an option 4?

    Have your girls walk before you each with a flower in your moms honor. Have your uncle and brother walk you halfway down the aisle, and walk the rest alone. (logistics wise i don't know how they would let you walk the rest of the way alone, maybe have a side exit for them?) But i think that's a great way to combine all 3!

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  • Angela
    Dedicated September 2018
    Angela ·
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    I walked myself down the aisle and it was all good. I debated on having my mom walk me, but given her energy the day before and her anxiety i thought it would be too much for the both of us (I didn't tell her so there were no hurt feelings).

    But if you want to be walked and not "given away", then you could have someone walk you a portion of the way and then you finish by yourself. Or your bridesmaids walk you half way and then they lead the way and then you follow. There are so many options. I didn't make up my mind until the day before, you have time.

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  • JustKidding
    VIP April 2018
    JustKidding ·
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    I'm all for walking alone. It's such a wonderful moment to do by yourself.

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  • stephanie
    Dedicated October 2018
    stephanie ·
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    I had my uncle walk me down the isle. I think that’d be a nice choice since it’s family
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  • Martika
    Expert September 2019
    Martika ·
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    I'm so sorry to hear about your mother! I like your options. I think your mom's twin walking you down would be a great idea. I think your uncle would be happy and since he is your mom's twin I think that would make her happy. Smiley heart best of luck

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  • Lisa and Jeffrey
    Just Said Yes October 2019
    Lisa and Jeffrey ·
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    Both of my parents are passed away so I am going to have my two sons who are 27 and 17
    escort me down the aisle
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